A toxic inner critic can often trap our clients in painful patterns of shame, or sometimes leave them frozen in fear.
But according to Rick Hanson, PhD, the inner critic can also serve an important function.
So how can we help clients counteract a harsh inner critic in order to experience healing and growth?
In this short video, Rick shares a useful way of reframing the role of the inner critic for clients, and why it can sometimes be necessary to veer from some of the most common approaches for working with it.
Take a look—it’s about 4 minutes.
How do you help clients break free from a harsh inner critic?
Please leave a comment below.
To the contrary to the common belief, the communication between two persons can be essentially at the root of the problem. This would not be applicable if it is about a parent’s harsh words and indifference.
Marvelously , thank you for the video.
Rick Hanson presents in a very sensible way how to give the brain the space. I haven’t had the chance to explore his writings yet, it is in a prospective list. Kudos!
That is a superb parenting video. It is also very applicable to the workplace and of course everywhere. Just a small shift in attitude from critic to guide would make a big difference.
it is hard for me to understand this as I am not a practitioner … and single out then… it looks more like having a permissible style of parenting, but it can be adapted .
I can see myself getting upset for not seeing how hurtful it can b. Hearing my own voice cursin losing my mind overslept
To use your inner critic in a more positive experience is to gain as many perspectives as u can. U can also research more facts to gain a wide open descusion with family or partner . write a detailed list of possibilities before u melt down
Good idea, tx
Have to beat myself up sometimes to from wherever I was in the bottom. Been down on to myself. A video that has a great benefit and been a help. Thanks.
We can only do with what we only had. Sounds pessimistic but I can’t get more narcissist than what I got from past
🕷🕸🕷The more the merrier 🎃🎃 caring committee sounds like group meeting 🖐 to me. I pass. Thanks.
I try to encourage self nurturing but it can be difficult especially if in childhood they had a critical parent and they expect other people’s criticism l.
I really like the idea if the caring committee and changing the inner critic to that of guidance. I think I will use Rick’s rock climbing example..
Very interesting use of Strength -based approach and does make sense here and effectively I will use this to in my work very soon . I will keep this in my tool box in case. Thank you very much ch.
This is excellent advice. Loved the video and story of different coaching styles. I agree it is much easier to have the inner critic take on a more nurturing role, rather than spend time trying to get rid of it. Thank you!
I use a strength-based approach, allowing community members to see what they do well, and asking them what they need to improve and work together to see how they can get to that goal.
I can hard on myself but I look at what I need to do differently, and what kind of learning am I getting from my emotions.
Thank you . I have a harsh inner critic and thus video has been most helpful x
Thank you, I agree that harsh critics coming from my mother have stayed with me for a long time. I have given myself permission to let my guard down and use strategies I have learned from my longtime friend and therapists.
Yes to the healing committee! I like to add rich detail to the voices to for auditory focus or visuals for visually focused clients.
I also like to lead them through playing with the critic voice. Making it squeaky or cartoony has led many to smiling at what was an intimidating, dominating presence.
Thank you for such an insightful vignette!
I work with adolescents who have often internalized the harsh and critical voice of their parents/caregivers. So when they say something negative about themselves, I ask them “whose voice is that?” Trying to help them separate that internalized harsh voice from their own. I love the idea of the caring committee and will use that in my work. Thank you!
Beautiful:0
Thank you for this engaging vignette. The idea of the caring committee is so positive and utilizes the healing attribute of humor as well.
If the inner critic is 6 months trying to master object permanence and experiences separation and abandonment..where can I start healing her. Trauma left her dissociated with PTSD
Hi Diane
Find a beautiful photograph of yourself as a little girl…and go back and tell her how much you love her everyday… don’t let your adult self abandon her … look after that little girl within you… you’ve got her this far haven’t you.. reassure her everyday… with an affirmation…
‘I am safe – all is well’ ..,if you want to know more… as a licensed teacher of Louise Hay’s work… I highly recommend her book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’.
Many blessings
Debbie ❤️
Talking gently to the inner critic allows the child within to be connected to a safe place that is a secret garden and is the most important affirmations that one can give and tell to one self , as “I am proud of you”, “you ‘ve done so much to stay strong, fragile and now strong”! Much love and thanks
I often use the same type of technique except I add the practice of the experience of the helping committee and help them to nurture balance by asking the inner critic if, everyone let’s this part in on what’s happening, can it feel safe that these others wont just let anything happen…that they care too about what needs to be done. When everyone is working toward the same goal, the inner critic usually will take a back seat.
I often point out to my clients, how harsh they are with themselves… I then ask them if they would be so harsh in judging someone else in their lives, a loved one, a friend, their child… they are often shocked and say: No, of course not, that would be really unfair and cruel…
I then gently guide them back to looking at themselves and their own self talk and ask them to look really closely and with some amount of tenderness at how they treat themselves. we then try to work on changing the self talk to something more gentle, forgiving and caring.
i really love the analogy of the internal caring committee (and to make it a bit goofy!!), I am going to introduce that into our conversations.
awesome stuff, thank you.
Always liked the carrot 🥕 over the prod 👍👍👍😊
Love you and Rick Hanson ✨
I really like the idea of developing your own inner caring committee. I use TA concepts a lot in my work and this fits right in! Thank you so much Dr. Hanson for being such a mentor and positive force in training us!!!
Unfortunately, the inner critic appears to have a stronger connection and influence to the subconscious mind. Perhaps because the subconcious responds better to repetition, which means any negative thought that are replaying or stuck in a loop are able to seep their way through. The other factor that makes the subconscious vulnerable, is when the inner critic becomes active during specific states of awareness when the brainwave activity is at its most succebtible to suggestion. Example of this is the type of brain waves that occur during hypnosis and sleep where the subconcious is highly active. The inner critic also triggers at times when we are lost in a mundane task or repeating a physical activity that has us mentally tune out while our body continues to carry out the task on autopilot, which is almost a hypnotising state to be in. This is where mindfulness can be a very effective tool in subduing the inner critic.
I relate it to their friends (I work with young people) and how they might respond to a friend who was consistently critical. Also that they can have a rational dialogue with their inner critic (some two chair work here) rather than believing it and collapsing.