There are times when a client can get stuck in “what if” scenarios and worry about the future.
And when that happens, it stifles their ability to think clearly and approach their problems with wisdom and creativity.
But there’s a very succinct, engaging story that’s popular in Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) that can help clients see their situation with fresh perspective. Paul Gilbert, PhD developed it, and in the video below you can hear a fantastic telling by Dennis Tirch, PhD – I’ll let him take it from here.
When a client understands a little about how the brain works, it can lift some of the shame that some clients may feel about their emotional experience. It can clear a path for self-compassion and help them respond to challenges in new ways.
Do you have a client who might benefit from this story? Please let us know by leaving a comment below.
What a great metaphor. I am going to put a link to this on my website. Thank you.
loved the analogy to the zebra.
It’d really help if you broke down the approach. Might that be possible?
Great story, thank you! So valuable in the time of Corona… I just looked out on the awesome view from my window and saw that the lion was actually a woodpecker enjoying nuts… x
A good reminder thank you. My daughter had a single seizure several months ago and I am still caught up in the ‘what ifs’ and can feel them increasing as we get closer to her being medically fit to drive again. ‘Be more Zebra’ is going to be my mantra when I am anxious about her.
Very profound and useful!
Excellent ?
I wish I was a zebra. Guilt over decisions for mom’s medical care When she had a stroke. Mistakes made by EMS, Hospital, all around when she had a stroke and did not get surgery on time. Full of what if I did this or that. Torment. I was her caregiver, protector, her daughter, like her mother, her buddy. She might have been alive if decisions were different. I was with her 24/7 for decades. Being eaten by the lion. My best friend and child passed away perhaps unnecessarily. Life is pain and emptyness, plain.
BG, I can feel the pain and loneliness in your post. Losing a parent is so difficult and it sounds like you loved your mother very much. You (and others) did what was best in the moment…hindsight will always shed more light on our decisions…I pray that you will have the grace and forgiveness to let go of regrets and ‘what ifs’ and remember all the precious moments you shared with your mom. I believe your mother is wanting this for you as well. God bless! Susanne
This is wonderful. Thank you so much!
Robert Sapolsky wrote on this topic many years ago, a brilliant book that has been updated with multiple Editions:
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Interestingly he too is brilliant, fast-talking and funny is all heck.
For some reason the title did not print above, it is,
“Why zebras don’t get ulcers”
Yes, great book. I thought of that immediately too!
I heard the zebra analogy from Dr Paul Gilbert at a CFT workshop ten years ago and have been using it with my clients ever since. A fantastic way to explain how the human brain struggles to switch off once a threat is over and imagined fears take over the brain
I hear you and I have been there. In fact I was there for several years. Self-induced emotional and psychological torture and torment. Only recently have I reached deep within to embrace, love and accept of myself. That, however, does not guarantee a life without problems nor is it always embraced by those who have known you as an easily abused individual. I need to know what my health issues are. Somehow, someone (family), decided I should not be told. You cannot face, accept and make peace with what you don’t know. I have all the responsibility to provide for myself without the benefit of factual information. I have already made some devastating financial decisions based on doctors input because they have not been free to honor “the patient’s right to know”. The state is investigating my medical case but any enlightenment from that is several months off. In the meantime, I can’t seemed to let go of the need to know for financial planning or the resentment of not having an explanation to what is happening to me.
Have you tried having a reading with a skilled psychic?
No one has the right to patronise me/you by their superficial view of WHO I AM! Only I/you, as an autonomous individual, can & (owe it to self), to assert that ‘I am, worthy of who I am’ (or ask if ‘…?’) it is my/your knowing & appreciating, of Who I Am, that informs the purpose of my mission in this life…as a child of Kosmic Source of all origins…. I I ponder and Hope for you contemplating such thoughts enables your spirit to empowerment…
Metaphors can be powerful teachers and this is one of the best I ever heard. It’s light, funny, clever and meaningful. I’ll remember it.
Great video! It simply distinguishes between the old brain and new brain which is what most of us have trouble doing. Thank you.
I was the zebra! ??love this
Haha…You can skip lunch many times, but you can only be lunch once. Loved it!
I love this story and as a dramatherapist I value story in therapy. I will benefit personally from this. I live in my head a lot so sometimes i’m harder on myself than others, so I’m going to try an get in touch with my inner zebra more now!!! Thank you for this. Simple short and to the point.
“my inner zebra…”what a nice thaught too.We need this kind of zebra thoughts! Thanks!
so nicely told… thank you!
Loved the Zebra narrative… How very true about ruminating negative thoughts and catastrophizing, not Zebra like…. Very engaging.
This is an enjoyable video. Very pleasantly presented and very likely to appeal to many!