Why Do We Sing Together During Quarantine?

Why are we all singing together during quarantine?

Whether it’s balcony singing in Italy or Zoom “choirs” on YouTube, group singing has become extremely popular.

So why might that be? Well, Bessel van der Kolk, MD has an idea. Have a listen.

If you’d like to hear more from Bessel on how to help patients regain a sense of agency during the COVID-19 pandemic, you can find it here.

Now we’d like to hear from you. How are you helping patients to feel more calm and safe during a frightening and unsettling time? What has been most helpful?

Please let us know by leaving a comment below.

June Bug, Other, CA says

Hello Dr. BESSEL VAN DER KOLK, MD

I am stuck in a perpetual web of therapy, and I’m not getting any better and they wont release me so I can get my son back.

Now I’m being told I have a force, that isnt me, that drives me to act erratic, frantic, and just plain mean. It’s what keeps me from obtaining any lasting connections, but in all honesty, I feel as though whatever it is, it is something I need. I feel like its what’s kept me PROTECTED, and what’s helped me manage to live in the ‘real’ World. I do feel as though I cant control it, but how could this be any different from a child with a temper tantrum? I do reconize different states of mind in myself, but, the idea that something has that much control… I laid awake last night because I’m actually starting to be scared of my own mind. I work with a psychiatrist and a psycologist, both with conflicting theologies about my condition it seems, and that only fuels this push pull relationship that I have with them…. and well, rage… ofcourse.

I’m stuck. I’m going to loose my mind soon, it wasnt very well going in 4 years ago, but I feel as though all this damn “therapy” has only made it worse. I would quit, if it were not for conditions in getting more time with my son (and even still, I cant seem to comply!! And that’s all, that is really really the only connection I truely care about)… but then, I feel as though I do have a very strong child self that has attached to the very people I want to break off from- My Doctors. I really have no other true connection, I only felt ‘love’ for another human, when I had my son, and even still not right away. And now… love, like a childs love would be towards I suppose their parents. And its pathetic and it angers me and I’ve done just about everything to kill of this child-like part in me.

I agree with you, that talk therapy can just keep you stuck, and I am sick of feeling like their modern day, medical rat, as they write their notes and theories about what has worked, what has made me regress, their own damn opinions.

I even went through ECT, 7 times. Yes I understand this isnt the ‘completed round’ of full ECT treatment, but after feeling No Change, except for a bit of amnesia after the procedure, I thought it was an absolute waste of time, and now I have THAT lingering over my head. What if that, made everything worse??? But no one is giving me answers. It seems, they just want to keep playing with my mind, ‘let’s push her, see how far she’ll go’. I already threw a chair at my psycologist during session, an incident that feels so displaced from me, but the reason I trust him was because instead of calling security and never seeing me again, I still had my hand on the doorknob and he said my name…. and asked me to come back. It stirred some things up in the unit and I dont remember what was discussed after, or what even got me to the point of throwing that chair, all I’m saying is, I think theyre purposely pushing me when I have said time and time again, I can feel the rage in my body, when my emotions get shut down (by whatever this force is) I have it inside wanting to all explode, explode into words yes so someone can understand so ‘little me’ can feel heard, if that’s the theory you want to go on, but I cant, I physically and mentally cant. Whatever I wanted to say, whatever I was feeling, is completely gone. But God, then there is that…. anger.

122 Comments

Deborah Shumard, Another Field, Grand Rapids, MI, USA says

I wonder if Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk is in any realtion to Dr. Henry Van Der Kolk of East Grand Rapids, Michigan?

June Bug, Other, CA says

Hello Dr. BESSEL VAN DER KOLK, MD

I am stuck in a perpetual web of therapy, and I’m not getting any better and they wont release me so I can get my son back.

Now I’m being told I have a force, that isnt me, that drives me to act erratic, frantic, and just plain mean. It’s what keeps me from obtaining any lasting connections, but in all honesty, I feel as though whatever it is, it is something I need. I feel like its what’s kept me PROTECTED, and what’s helped me manage to live in the ‘real’ World. I do feel as though I cant control it, but how could this be any different from a child with a temper tantrum? I do reconize different states of mind in myself, but, the idea that something has that much control… I laid awake last night because I’m actually starting to be scared of my own mind. I work with a psychiatrist and a psycologist, both with conflicting theologies about my condition it seems, and that only fuels this push pull relationship that I have with them…. and well, rage… ofcourse.

I’m stuck. I’m going to loose my mind soon, it wasnt very well going in 4 years ago, but I feel as though all this damn “therapy” has only made it worse. I would quit, if it were not for conditions in getting more time with my son (and even still, I cant seem to comply!! And that’s all, that is really really the only connection I truely care about)… but then, I feel as though I do have a very strong child self that has attached to the very people I want to break off from- My Doctors. I really have no other true connection, I only felt ‘love’ for another human, when I had my son, and even still not right away. And now… love, like a childs love would be towards I suppose their parents. And its pathetic and it angers me and I’ve done just about everything to kill of this child-like part in me.

I agree with you, that talk therapy can just keep you stuck, and I am sick of feeling like their modern day, medical rat, as they write their notes and theories about what has worked, what has made me regress, their own damn opinions.

I even went through ECT, 7 times. Yes I understand this isnt the ‘completed round’ of full ECT treatment, but after feeling No Change, except for a bit of amnesia after the procedure, I thought it was an absolute waste of time, and now I have THAT lingering over my head. What if that, made everything worse??? But no one is giving me answers. It seems, they just want to keep playing with my mind, ‘let’s push her, see how far she’ll go’. I already threw a chair at my psycologist during session, an incident that feels so displaced from me, but the reason I trust him was because instead of calling security and never seeing me again, I still had my hand on the doorknob and he said my name…. and asked me to come back. It stirred some things up in the unit and I dont remember what was discussed after, or what even got me to the point of throwing that chair, all I’m saying is, I think theyre purposely pushing me when I have said time and time again, I can feel the rage in my body, when my emotions get shut down (by whatever this force is) I have it inside wanting to all explode, explode into words yes so someone can understand so ‘little me’ can feel heard, if that’s the theory you want to go on, but I cant, I physically and mentally cant. Whatever I wanted to say, whatever I was feeling, is completely gone. But God, then there is that…. anger.

Sandra Ainsley, Coach, CA says

Hi, I’m offering a free breathe together/ sing together. It’s called “Lullabies Sung for a Troubled World”I have it posted on Meet up for Sunday May 31st at 2pm. I’m deeply inspired by Bessel Van der Kolk!
It’s a call and response sing along to our original lullaby “Sleep Little Angel” we wrote to offer respite in these troubling times. Welcome, it’s free! Hope to see you there!
Sandra xo

Lisa Gavin Cruse, Marriage/Family Therapy, Bakersfield, CA, USA says

I’m helping clients using somatic experiencing techniques like the Voo sound. Just using grounding exercises such as naming things in the room, feeling textured surfaces, Yoga and mindful breathing. Then place things in context of the world pandemic that none of us have ever been through before and the importance of connection.

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