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  1. Natalie Gable, Nutrition, San Francisco, CA, USA says

    A bit of a joke: I feel resentment when anyone, instructs me, “This is what I want you to do.” Whether a cooking instructor, Dr. Oz, or this therapist, what is it to them to make me do Their Will? The information is valued but spare me the control freak who says, “Do this because I want you to do it.” No, I do not think it is just a manner of expressing oneself to interject their superiority onto me. “Now I Want you to do this.” What’s it to you to impose a directive making yourself the educational cop? HaHa!

  2. Gail Nelson, Counseling, Fargo, ND, USA says

    I am grateful for Terry’s extraordinary ability to identify issues and give us strategies to deal with them, like resentment. Thanks Terry!

  3. da zoll, Other, GB says

    It’s SUCH a good idea (can’t wait to get started).
    It’s dawning on me how I’ve been hiding behind this resentment for decades.
    My niece is ace but my brother less so
    Been wondering how or whether to approach his hurt?
    I choose to assume he has some.

  4. Lynn Kennedy Baxter, Marriage/Family Therapy, Rocklin, CA, USA says

    (Use all or some of the following as appropriate.)
    Explain that maintaining resentment steals energy from today. Cuts us off from ourselves.
    Identify the protective function of resentment.
    Identify the pain/wound hidden under resentment and do therapy on it. (Helplessness, vulnerability, humiliation, etc.)
    Teach how to communicate about ongoing hurt/pain/ criticism in an “I” message. ( Strategy: I say what I need to say, so I can release my resentment and forget.)
    Teach how to protect in the here & now with appropriate boundaries.
    Identify if resentment is based on unrealistic expectations, esp. perfectionism.
    Writing a “dump” letter, say everything that need to be said uncensored and read it to the therapist. Burn/destroy the letter, then take appropriate action if needed.
    For severe wounding, if client believes in a Higher Power, teach the “turn it over” gesture to relinquish the pain (“Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord. I will repay.”)
    Use Emotional Freedom Technique and/or EMDR to release and clear.

    • Christina Herzog, Psychotherapy, CR says


  5. Ayodele Rhodes, Health Education, GB says

    My green trash bag is letters – writing all my ‘resentment’ : knowledge, hurt, concerns, caution, reprimands, disappointments which are not being listened to or painful to divulge in letters to each of the individuals concerned. These letters may be edited but I have no intention of dispatching any of the letters in my lifetime. Mainly because I want to protect my son as I fear that he may be hurt or broken by any of the information which he may be unaware of. These letters may be delivered with my will to all concerned when I move on.

    • Janice Ara, Another Field, KY, USA says

      Why would you want your son to read the letters when you “move on” since he would not be able to have a discussion with you! Could that hurt him more knowing you would or could not have the conversation in person? Just another point of view!

  6. Susan Watkins, Counseling, GB says

    Does Terry do an online video event separately ?