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A Tool to Help Clients Calm the Nervous System

21 Comments

Uncertainty is hard to live with. And the stress and fear that often accompany it can be demanding . . .

. . . especially when it comes to the nervous system.

That’s why we reached out to Deb Dana, LCSW to get her perspective on how clients can calm the nervous system when they’re feeling stressed, afraid, or alone.

In the video, Deb mentions “ventral regulation.” According to Deb there are three states of the nervous system, and ventral is the state in which people feel safe and connected.

Now let’s hear from Deb.

 

 

If you didn’t catch every question Deb listed when she walked you through the Personal Connection Plan, we’ve got you covered.

We created a Personal Connection Plan handout that you can download here. Feel free to print it and use it with your clients.

If you’d like to hear more from Deb about the three states of the nervous system and get an exercise to help clients learn to “listen” to what their nervous system needs, you can do so here.

Now we’d like to hear from you.

What have you found helpful with clients who are feeling drained or stressed by the uncertainty that we’re living with during the pandemic? What practices have been helpful for clients who are struggling to connect with friends and family?

Please share your experiences below.

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Related Posts: Brain, COVID-19, Fear and Mindfulness, Mindfulness, Neuroscience and Relationships

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21 Comments

  1. Janey Cutting, Psychotherapy, GB says

    Thank you so much. I’m an Arts Psychotherapist and mindfulness practitioner. I have been using Polyvagal Theory in my work with clients over these difficult times. It’s been really useful for them to map their nervous systems and become more aware of, and so more able to access, their Ventral state.

    Reply
  2. Madeleine De Little, Counseling, CA says

    Dear Deb, (you and I have a mutual friend Leanna Rae) thank you for the sharing of this succinct practical application of the Polyvagal System. I work in metaphors in the sand tray normally and online I check in with my clients asking them to imagine a metaphor as to how they are right now. Their metaphors range from a playful monkey(Playstate) to a buried cockroach (Dorsal Vagal). Sometimes they have both metaphors as they move rapidly between. Then I ask them to imagine how they would like to feel. The images are usually those of trees, flowers signs of peace, and angels. By experiencing these images they can take their nervous system to a dorsal without fear. If you are interested I will send you my book on the work I do using Neurosciencewithin the metaphor.

    Reply
    • Deborah Kerr, Psychology, Cape Girardeau , MO, USA says

      I would love to know the name of this book! I am a neuroscientist and psychologist. Drkerr@mountainbrookwellness.com!!

      Reply
  3. Nana Nantambu, New Orleans, LA, USA says

    This is so helpful to me personally, and it is great to have a simple “structured” tool to use and offer to others.
    Thank you Deb.

    Reply
  4. Eva-Lena Fehlmann, Psychology, CH says

    Thank you so much, very interesting, also to know that curiosity belongs to the ventral nervous system. Lovely explained by Dana. However, at the moment I am struggling with clients who cannot meet their close ones, left alone traumas from childhood arises making them feel hopless, frustrated, worthless and desperate. I do not believe that these clients would be ready for the connectedness exercises.

    Reply
  5. Linda Murphy, Teacher, AU says

    Deb ‘s knowledge and the way she communicates this is most helpful. I can manage the high fluctuations in anxiety levels and panic thanks to her videos on ventral and personal connection

    Reply
  6. Tameika Kim, CA says

    Thank you for sharing your personal connection plan.
    It gives me much to reflect upon.
    I look forward to trying it myself and with others.
    I also wonder if it would be interesting to incorporate drawing or visual expression, for clients who enjoy art; once they reach they point in which curiosity is accessible. Almost like a visual mapping/ navigation to re connection customized by the individual.

    Reply
  7. Melina Paquette, Psychotherapy, CA says

    I am so enjoying these suggestions and Dana provides me with a clearer understanding of the the nervous system. I also find that during these times of uncertainty, individuals gravitate to concrete tools for regulation.
    So thank you!

    Reply
  8. Grace Yap, Another Field, AU says

    As usual, much gratitude for short morsels of wisdom that reminds, which NICABM facilitates, so thank you! If it had been long session, I would have filed it.

    Reply
  9. Pauline Faulkner, Psychology, CA says

    Thank you so much for this! I’ve been struggling with how to help a client for the past week. Adult child of a NPD mother. Deep loneliness – the lost child in her. She has had various treatments and asked if I could provide a systematic treatment plan. With the grief and loss at this time, especially here in Nova Scotia, I hesitate to open her to the challenges of finding and nurturing that neglected child. This will provide me with a great start. Bless you.

    Reply
  10. Anita Kalnay, Another Field, CA says

    Could you share a reference to understanding the VENTRAL nervous system??? thank you!

    Reply
  11. Ernest Izard, Clergy, TX, USA says

    Thank you. Your brief, to the point words triggered some aha! moments especially as I connected in my mind the central to a hernia and an excess of weight that if my musings are accurate, could be interfering with my curiosity. Thank you! Blessings!

    Reply
  12. Marie-Claude R, Medicine, CA says

    I love this! Polyvagal theory helps me a lot in my life. I am so glad to have the privilege to listen to Deborah Dana’s teachings online through NICABM network. It is so simply, clearly and nicely presented. Thanks to you both, Deborah and Ruth for making this happens!
    P.S. I can’t wait for an upcoming complete Polyvagal training program lead by Deb Dana that I will engage in with great enthusiasm!

    Reply
  13. Kimberly Gardner, Psychotherapy, Helena , MT, USA says

    This was a fantastic message! I have found that supporting clients to live in the “here and now” for a few minutes at a time when they are overwhelmed is helpful. Valuing curiosity and appreciating the gift of wondering will be added to that now!

    Reply
  14. Anonymous, Psychology, JM says

    I travel from an urban area to a rural area once each week. The presents a change from urban to more rural experiences.

    Reply
  15. Daisy Zoll, Other, GB says

    Get a grip folks!
    This isn’t the best example of compassionate care from me.
    What do we have?
    What have we lost?
    How has the day changed from the start to the end of it?
    If our lives are more similar than different our own actions will have been the biggest needle movers through the day.
    THAT is one thing we have control over in these unprecedented times.
    This is my 26th year of a chronic, degenerative, neurological condition
    If you’re going to drink then own it.
    Start at a specific time – anticipate the time dropping away.
    Use a nice glass – maybe a tablecloth?
    Or, choose to do something else this evening?
    Or don’t, but know it’s your choice.

    Reply
  16. Tom Resawski, Teacher, OR, USA says

    As someone who is isolating alone I find life to be rather like being in prison. I am isolated physically and emotionally and as a consequence my release valve is alcohol. At times I feel that all this will be too much to bear and at present I am not looking to the future. Anxiety is sky high and I do not sleep.
    Tom. Oregon.

    Reply
    • Pam, Teacher, MA, USA says

      Hi Tom,
      It is a tough time for sure .
      I tried listening to sleep music with headset when I couldn’t sleep and it worked for me .
      Lots of sleep time mysic sites.
      do you have anyone you can reach out to and use FaceTime each day?

      I am also doing 1 hour of volunteer tutoring with 3 high school girls . This gives me a real happy hour each day … Using messenger meeting .. very easy

      Any Hobby you would like to try ?

      Write back to me Tom, if you wish .
      Pam

      Reply
    • Katrina Patterson, Teacher, GB says

      Hi Tom Reaching out to you from London. Are you able to go for a walk and look at a tree? Then maybe come back and rewatch Deb Dana’s video above what she has to say may speak to your anxiety and do print out the Personal Connection Plan and discover your connections and what you want to explore. I found it really useful and her voice very calming. Remembering that ‘this too shall pass’.

      Reply
    • Nima Hiatt, Coach, Hillsboro, OR, USA says

      Tom, I have a lot of compassion for your situation. It sounds like you’ve gotten pulled into the anxiety bubble of catastrophe, and you’re stuck there. I found myself there about a week ago. My thoughts had SO much to do with the state I was in. I kept seeing everything crumble in my mind…and following the dreaded path of “what ifs.” But then I started making a plan, believing this crisis IS going to end. Asking myself, “What can I do right now to feel better and live? What emotional needs are not being met right now, and how can I meet those within our limited guidelines?”

      But you can’t start problem-solving until your anxiety comes down, because up there you’re just in survival mode – not thinking mode. Drinking helps to calm the nerves, but that’s temporary, and not super healthy either (but no judgment…I’ve been there).

      Hope is a major antidote to depression and anxiety. You said, “At present I am not looking to the future.” What if you did? And not with fear…but with hope for positive change? Add in Deb’s suggestion for curiosity. In what ways can you grow and change right now? Find purpose in this time. I’ve signed up for a few classes on Udemy.com. They run discounts all the time, and it feels great to learn something new and advance my knowledge and skills about things I’m interested in.

      And BREATHE…a LOT. Diaphragm breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system like breathe in for 5, out for 8. One study showed that taking four full breaths per MINUTE lowered cortisol over 50% in the blood. That’s LOT, and will help lower your anxiety AND help you sleep. I hope you feel better soon. Feel free to reach out.

      Reply
      • Serina Delmar, Other, GB says

        Lovely message, all valid. I’ve been in lockdown since 2016 or rather since the infamous CDC opioids guidelines which forced so many intractable pain patients to lose all quality of life, become housebound, and suffer intolerable constant pain… now for life. What would you suggest for this being a permanent situation? Just realize I’m commenting in the wrong little bit hope you can see this comment is I can’t repeat it again (as an example of how little it takes to flare up). Thanks in advance.

        Reply

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