Please Leave A Comment



  2. Yes, yes, spirituality is very important. I know God has led me to be on this walk with my second son as he has travelled across B C and into Alberta and soon to head down thro many states until he reaches Key West Florida. Right now I am his Pilot driver and will be until November when I will head back home to Castlegar BC. I know that God walks with us on this wonderful

  3. You and your community are the gift, I have been practicing self love enough to welcome and receive whole heartedlly. I am grateful for you all and the worthiness I know…. to actually receive all of this and to participate with loving connection. For this I feel Powerful and I am perseverating less on control and more on Being, Loving,Connecting, Welcoming and Receiving this Divine Oneness.

  4. I agree with Dr. Bragdon I don’t believe control is the right word to use. I think our ego(s) want to be in charge, but as we get older we realize that we’re not in charge. And then we strive to let go, and try to establish a connection/relationship with GOD. It is only by doing this that we can find peace.(The better the relationship, the deeper the contentment and peace of mind.) I believe that we are Spiritual beings, in physical bodies. But, somehow most of us have ignored or been taught to ignore our ‘Spiritual side’. As we get older and hopefully smarter we realize that something is missing in our lives and we start searching for that ‘missing piece’, that is so necessary for our survival as a ‘Spiritual being’. Thank you Dr. Buczynski for giving us a forum, where we can read, learn, and discuss such issues…May GOD bless you…………..tom E.

    • Tom, I completely agree with you and the others above who feel that “control” is not the right word for what we are trying to understand, here. When we begin to discuss spiritual issues, I think we are hugely handicapped by a lack of clear and consistent terminology. I completely agree that many of us are feeling that something is missing in our lives and suspect what is missing is some sort of spiritual aspect or spiritual understanding, beyond those of we were reared with.
      Ruth, this dialogue has tremendous potential. The topic is an excellent one. There are few places on the internet, at least that I am aware of, where professionals can exchange ideas with others from a variety of backgrounds and different healing traditions. Thanks for all your efforts.

  5. Wondering if “control “is a useful and enduring quality of life. My experience is that fiinding meaning in the second half of liife as written about by James Hollis is an a very important developmental process.

  6. Ruth, I just wanted to thank you for these blogs and this series! I enjoyed the trauma one, and this is awesome too!

  7. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to sit quietly with our inner child each and every morning!
    Anything less than a loving thought is toxic!

  8. Surrendering one’s conditioned belief in the dualistic, fragmented, mechanistic “reality” to find a streaming source of unity, strength. love which transforms mountains of pain or droughts of
    superficiality into a river of possibility and connection… allowing for healing and purposeful action.
    Sometimes the ego begins this journey with a glimpse and initially feels a greater sense of control…
    but if the journey deepens, even the concept of control melts into unity, and an awakening to;
    awareness of; true joyful purpose.
    As an educator for decades working with children, within public education, I strove to convey/emanate/ intertwine the underlying unity of seemingly disparate parts in whatever came up, whether academically or in interaction or behavior. Many moments of connection… yet many moments of noticing the dualistic mindset which continues to pervade our world…
    religions notwithstanding. This is why your series on spirituality within the therapeutic arena is so vitally important.

  9. Thank you , Dr. Buczynski for opening this subject and Dr. Bragdon for your comments on the word “control”. I would replace the word “control” with the word connected. I find with my discussion with clients that being connected to something other then just our physical, mental, and emotional self there is a need for connection to our spiritual self. That Spiritual self does need to feel that it is drawing energy from something greater and more all-encompassing. I feel it is the disconnect that happens in different ways for each of us, be it through trauma or through a society that tells us we are not good enough to fit in, or through a religion that tells us there is only one way to do something. If you don’t agree with that way then you are wrong and cast out. If we can become the connecting rod between heaven and earth then we have a constant flow of energy renewing us and connecting us to all that is.

  10. I have been losing my focus and instead of practicing my Catholicism, I fret and worry and in the process am gaining lots of weight and in general, not making good use of my time. I know what to do; doing it is something else…

    • Lori- I love that you have a nightly raiutl with your family around thankfulness. You teach your daughter wonderful things! Thank you for sharing with me what you are grateful for and I am thankful to hear that your body is doing its job of healing!

  11. Thank you so much, Dr. Buczynski, for your essay and the comments that follow. I agree with Dr. Bragdon’s comments about whether “control” is the correct concept. I’m thinking of the words trust and surrender and being able to release the need to control our lives to the extent that we are in charge of everything. The Authentic Person: Dealing With Dilemma, by Sydney J. Harris, and now, unfortunately, out of print, explains the concepts of duality and paradox in such a beautiful way. I am so grateful to Dr. Rick Hanson for directing me to your website and programs.

  12. I have been working with a group to discover how to turn the tide of suicide, espcially for the 18-26dinner age group. We know that the highest suicide rate is white males over 65, but the younger age group has catapulted, especially for the military. We believe the missing ingredient for these young people is spirituality and yes control of a life spiraling out of control. We are researching this approach to suicide prevention and how to alter medical screening and education to address this missing ingredient in young people’s lives.

  13. Is it truly a feeling of control? Or, do many of us have a sense of wondering, “who is in control” when we are young–and then accepting, as we age, that an intelligence greater than our ego-self is running the show. The door then opens to accepting this greater intelligence, relating to it, learning about it, experiencing that it shows up in us as “Higher Power”, “God”, or “All that is”. We can then recognize that life is truly about improving our relationship with that force–even becoming one with it.
    This is not about ego-control. It comes with choosing to be in close relationship with that which has many names/ aka God. That journey, from my experience, is not about ego control–but deliberately flowing our attention in another direction. Profound satisfaction and peace comes when we know we are deepening our connection to God. I would venture to guess that those who never touch this enriching relationship do not know this profound level of satisfaction and peace. It comes whenever we choose to place attention on our unity with the Divine Intelligence, to be that Pure Awareness.

  14. Spirituality has been my life-long quest. The dualism in so many lives speaks of a true misunderstanding of integration. I look forward to listening to these research experts for I know what they say true in praxis. It is the reality, this spiritual struggle. As clergy, I am faced with helping people accept the mystery and make sense of it everyday in their lives as they struggle with this universal perception of a paradox.
    The notion of control is an epiphany for all change leaders in systems entrenched in traditions that resist change. I’m thrilled that there is research that brings this reality to the forefront of therapy – for as James wrote Centuries ago, “The body without spirit is dead…”