It’s common knowledge that caring for someone with PTSD sometimes leads to secondary trauma.
But researchers at the University of Utah wondered just how bad that secondary trauma could be.
Could the partners of veterans with PTSD suffer just as much, if not more, than the veterans themselves?
Catherine Caska, a graduate student in clinical psychology, and her research team studied two groups of male veterans, along with their female partners. In 32 couples, the veterans suffered from PTSD, and in the control group of 33 couples, PTSD wasn’t a factor.
The veterans in both groups had been deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan at least once in the past decade.
After the researchers interviewed the couples to measure PTSD, depression, marital satisfaction, and areas of disagreement, they asked the couples to undergo a brief experiment.
Researchers asked each couple to discuss a current issue that they disagreed strongly about. The conversation was made up of three phases: an introductory unstructured discussion, a structured segment where the partners took turns listening and speaking, and a final unstructured discussion.
Before and after the conversation, researchers took physiological measurements from both partners, including blood pressure and heart rate.
Some of their findings probably won’t surprise you. Both veterans and partners in the PTSD group reported significantly higher emotional stress, measured through disaffection and disharmony. They also reported problems with frequent and intense emotional conflict.
But when they looked at the physiological measurements, researchers found something particularly interesting.
While the couples in the PTSD group showed elevated blood pressure during the conversation relative to controls, the partners of the veterans in particular showed the highest blood pressure – even compared to the veterans themselves.
It’s important to note that this study didn’t use random assignment when selecting its sample, so there’s a limit to how much we can generalize its results.
Although it’s very preliminary, this research suggests that PTSD can have far reaching and significant physiological impact even among people who don’t suffer from it.
Of course, the blood pressure finding stood alone in this study. I’d like to see more research that examines other physiological and mental factors with the partners of post-traumatic stress sufferers. If PTSD really carries significant health risks for the partners of veterans, we’d expect to see them show up in research.
If you’re interested in reading the full study, its results will be published following a presentation at the annual meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society.
Have you ever worked with the partners of clients who suffer from PTSD? What kinds of advice have you given them? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts.
I have PTSI and find that a service dog is extremely helpful when dealing with my “freezes” and my night
terrors. Do you have any information or studies that include treatment for military PTSI with service dogs?
I currently provide trauma-sensitive yoga and meditation to veterans with PTSD and/or TBI. Most of them are now divorced or struggling in their relationships, and not by their own choice. They truly want a different outcome. This has made me aware of the need for resources that will help these couples communicate and reconnect in a somatosensory way, as the intellectual approach does not seem to be effective or appropriate as a sole resource in this stage of the relationship. Trauma-sensitive yoga and meditation for couples might offer that opportunity, so that is what I’m working on developing.
So glad the conversation about the effects of PTSD on partners is getting traction. My children and I all have PTSD as a result of living with their abusive father, who was not a veteran of war but, in my now more informed opinion, a veteran of an abusive mother. PTSD is an outcome of many forms of unpredictable danger, including that in the home. As an adult, living with his own repressed rage, my ex husband was violent, unpredictable, aggressive, and emotionally abusive. I had no tools, no awareness, and unknowingly participated in creating PTSD in my children through living with him.
Please keep the conversation about trauma and trauma treament expanding!
Jo, I will be in touch. Thanks for contact details. Just a bit frazzled today. Mum, with Alzheimers is pooing everywhere and I have had head to head with authority which knocks all the energy out of me. Just ready for bed, but I won’t, I will work with my diary. Thanks Claire
Hi Raymond,
This is a very kind offer. I will contact you shortly. To be honest I don’t know if I can do it with you, as the unprovoked attack that triggered my own PTSD occurred in Ireland (and we left there as a consequence), and I may find your Irish accent too much of a trigger. Sounds bizarre, I know, so I will contact you when I am less bruised. OK. Thank you for an incredible offer – there are good people on this planet. Thanks again, Claire
I am not a professional in the field of psychology or therapy. I speak only from experience. I am the 65-year-old daughter of a WW2 veteran who unquestionably suffered from PTSD. Our family experienced every single one of the symptoms described in the above article. But in addition, I have observed something else just as earthshaking. The trauma of having a parent suffer from PTSD exacerbated my own suffering from any other trauma which I went on to experience! Events which, for others, were normal, became traumatic for me. And I was “only” the daughter! My father seems to have worked out his PTSD thru dementia at age 96, my mother died of a broken heart at age 77, and I am still “working” on myself. I am so happy to hear that there is treatment.
I call this the tip-toe syndrome. Anyone (and particularly children) who has to tip-toe around someone volatile, or maybe someone who is ill. The accompanying fear of letting feelings out causes immense stress.
I use Somatic Experiencing as my main tool which is very effective.
Thank you for every single word! This helps me understand myself better.
I have not worked professionally with a partner of PTSD however I have been in a personal relationship with a Vietnam vet with severe PTSD. HE did two tour, watched his best friend explode from a land mine he was responsible to protect him from. PTSD is contagious.
I would love to discuss the tumultous relationship I barely lived through. I used to say “he would get car crashing mad over spilt milk.” My children have also unfortunately been scarred. I am very sorry and ashamed of that. Our own relationships still suffer because I allowed him in our lives.
I was unaware at the time of the level or degree his suffering and dysfunction unfortunately. I was hardly equipped to help him the way I hoped and he needed. At couples counseling, they dismissed me for 6 months while they worked with only him.
The relationship began with a sincere belief of the possibility of a “happily ever after. ” He was a silver tongue devil for sure and was very manipulative. Our relationship lasted for six years. It was a roller coaster ride that at times great but often dangerous. Both physical and emotional abuse was experienced on a nearly a daily basis however compassion often idiot compassion compromised my ability to remove myself from it all. Finally, after my own treatment with an NLP practioner, I was able to become self empowered and relived of what seemed like “I was addicted to him,” I was free but not unharmed.
I was no longer able to communicate through writing, I used to journal everyday, because my privacy was violated and to this day do not feel safe to put my feelings on paper leaving me locked inside myself on many levels Communication with others became uninvited for the same story was constantly repeating it self and no one was willing to tolerate listening anymore. Guilt still exists. There are many emotional blocks to hurdle after serving beside a veteran whose suffering was never resolved through support they should have received.
He had uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure, a quadruple bypass, he ended up having his leg amputated after burning it on a motorcycle along with horrible mood swings. I have never in my life before or after tried harder to make things good and failed. The last time we got back together I decided I was going to do everything right so this time I could be free without regret and it would be clear, and even though I could not believe I made such a horrible mistake getting involved with him, I could prove once and for all, know in my heart, it wasn’t me. At the end, with all my efforts and the NLP process I was able to accept and release him from my world. I could not win. I have learned to call him my master teacher because he is the one that forced me to love myself and thrive. I am still healing. I hope he and God will forgive me and this response is well accepted and useful to help others. Thank you.
I worked with U.S. military wives for several years, mostly just post their husband’s return from the most recent of multiple deployments. These wives came to our service, a free DOD service located on almost all Army and Air Force bases around the world, because we could offer confidentiality. Nothing about our meetings went on a military members service record. We kept no records. The wives reported the new returnees were highly difficult to be with, short tempered, looking for a fight (that increases adrenalin levels), with sleep problems, plus the usual symptoms of PTSD. The wives thought their marriages would have to be over.
I trained wives to be non reactive to provocative behavior, how to state calmly to their husbands that the behavior was unacceptable, to remove themselves (even to the next room) from the negative energy and to go to the gym for some physical activity. In addition, I taught them some exercises which I called “Do one thing”, really classic mindfullness and meditation strategies , but those words have little positive effect in a military setting. In the next meetings we would process their experiences, practice these techniques, and educate them about the profound effects of adrenolin overuse, and the accumulative affects on their minds of mindfulness (without using that word).
This seemed to make profound sense to these military spouses and gave them skills to negotiate the transition home after their spouses combat deployment. It was successful.
Yes PTSD affects the family – spreading horizontally & vertically. My father’s PTSD brought domestic violence & intermittant explosive disorder blowouts into our family home after WWII. PTSD was not identified yet, counseling was not a normal option yet & DV was not identified yet (no battered women’s movement yet to raise the issue of whether DV was pathological vs a normal range of male behavior). His behavior with violence, substance use, womanizing & abandonment significantly affected my mother & me (the only child for the first 6 years post-war). Due to no interventions, this behavior became normalized inside the family & kept occuring in somewhat less volatile fashion, later impacting my two younger sisters. All 3 of us girls had no interventions, so carried our reactive behaviors into our adult lives (2nd generation), with various negative effects. Not until the 3rd generation, when a suicidal plan was disclosed in adolescence & resulted in crisis interventions & followup therapy, did this PTSD inheritance get interrupted.
I use EMDR, TFT (tapping on meridian points) and Inner Child work to treat PTSD. It works very well with those not on medication, less so with those who are. See also the work of Dr. Peter Breggin, M.D., whose latest book, Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients and Their Families was published this year. He has done extensive research showing that it is common for psychiatric drugs to CAUSE depression, anxiety, mania, violence, suicide and brain damage. He teaches how to help people withdraw from them gradually with a lot of support, as the withdrawal symptoms can be devastating. See his websites: breggin.com, toxicpsychiatry.com, and empathictherapyorg I also recommend EmPower Plus Q96 (See http://www.QSciences.com) a nutritional supplement that has been helping people in Canada for 16 years with mood disorders and brain health. It’s backed with many independent scientific studies.
I am a partner of a spouse who had ptsd probably childhood originated. He died last year. I am unravelling the effects of it all and have ptsd symptoms trauma grief that I am being helped through now. I was so encouraged with this article because I have been my own research of ptsd not only for him but me, grief and trauma also. One day this will help others as I get through it myself. I thank you so much for this article. So timely. Thanks Your webinars have been such a blessing for us this last two years. You have shed so much light on what we were going through, gave us understanding, made the painful process we were going through easier and now as I listen I receive the information validation support I need to understand it all and treat it so I can heal and recover.
My late husband wasn’t PSTD (that I knew), but he was depressed. (We met when he was 45 and I, 41.) He died in 2011 of a heat-stroke-related heart attack at 60. {sigh}) He was suicidal when I met him and he had been, essentially, suicidal his entire life, including drinking turpentine as a teen, which (he said) he was dismayed to discover did not kill him. (His mother and brothers were more dramatically mentally ill, including his younger brother having been committed a few times.) As his mate, I spent many years … watching … I very rarely discussed with him my own problems, needs, desires, hopes, whatever — because when he was depressed I didn’t want to add to his burden, and when he was happy I didn’t want to rock the boat. (The caretaker’s burden!)
I’m certainly not suggesting it’s a panacea or anything — but, a few years before he died, during an especially bad period of deep depression (he even, in a moment of “weakness,” described to me his latest planned method to kill himself), I convinced him,to begin taking fish oil “for his heart” (he’d been having angina). (And, no, of COURSE he wouldn’t ever go to a doctor! {rueful G})
I did not tell him that in Germany (as I understand) they actually prescribe fish oil (Omega 3s) FOR depression… He found that it did ease his angina so kept taking it, and to our amazement (and my delight!), it “healed his brain”: he lost all suicidal urges; he became warm and social (which thrilled our friends and neighbors — and me!); instead if dreading getting older, he began to look forward to ‘what we’d be doing.’ I had the most amazing 3-4 years with him at his very, very best — which I would not have missed for anything. (Sadly, he had finally committed to start eating “the primal/paleo diet” — right before his heart gave out. But he had begun to accept some vitamins beyond fish oil…)
No, I don’t think “vitamins will fix everything,” but my god! The “SAD” — the standard American (Canadian/western) diet — is SO poisonous, so detrimental to our finely tuned biological systems, that ameliorating what we eat (and don’t eat!) cannot but have a super-positive effect! Try any of these: Gary Taubes (“Good Calories, Bad Calories”); Julia Ross (“The Mood Cure” and “The Diet Cure”); Mark Sisson (blog: Mark’s Daily Apple, and book: “The Primal Blueprint”); Robb Wolf (blog and books), Dr. Mike Eades (blog and books); Tom Naughton’s funny — but scientific — documentary “Fat Head” — free on Hulu and YouTube; and his great (YouTube) speech “Science for Smart People”)…
What the mainstream is telling us about food and health is hugely false, and is predicated on selling commodity “food” products. Just as with these marvelous teleseminars Ruth is providing; you have to ‘step out’ of the standard sources to see what’s new and science based! This is information you have to go ‘hunt’ for — it won’t be ‘fed’ through your front door!
I am amazed by what you say about the effects of fish oil and omega 3s ; I had read some books in French about this subject and what you say brilliantly confirms the theory ! Also what you say about our modern diet (not necessarily in America) is quite true : it’s definitely not very good for our health ; too much sugar, too much salt, low quality fat, too many calories etc
God! Yes food is natural and unrefined…Hah! That word refined is an oxymoron! You cannot refine what mother earth produces! You can detract from it though…
My Ayurvedic Naturopath is asking me to eat 6-7 cups of fresh and/or steamed vegetables a day.
Eating right is a discipline that works. There is no getting around doing what you need to do.
This article is just what I needed to read. I know that PTSD has impacted my life. My husband suffers from PTSD symptoms and hearing loss, brought on during the Vietnam era. Since he’s gotten older, all of his symptoms have gotten progressively worse. Over the last two months, he’s had two major panic attacks, that I thought were heart attacks. He sees a psychiatrist for medication for panic attacks and anxiety but won’t go into therapy. I’m always on edge and waiting for the next ‘shoe to drop’. Thank you, Claire, for sharing your story. I can so relate. We don’t interact that much with others because he gets paranoid as to what folks are saying about him (I think as a result of the hearing loss coupled with the PTSD). Since the panic attacks in February, he has difficulty breathing at times and he squints his eyes a lot. He’s gotten much more disorganized, has difficulty remembering, and has great difficulty in crowds. When our children were little, I would wake up early in the morning, tip-toeing into their room, to watch them breathing. I’d always have a moment of panic, thinking that they weren’t breathing, followed by that calm relief when I view their chest moving. I now do that with my husband every morning. Although he’s had a clean bill of health regarding his lungs and heart, following the panic attacks, I worry all the time that something is going to happen to him. I have tried meditation with limited results. I keep thinking ‘once he’s OK, I’ll be able to relax and breathe’ myself. I now realize that I need to take care of me anyway. Not sure what the next step is, though.
Diane can you think of a way you can talk your man into release therapies–like EMDR, SRT,or RET?
RET, incidentally, you can do on your own. Rapid Eye Technique…find it online.
The problem as I see it in male veterans, is they are ashamed and in denial that they are so vulnerable.
My father (ex-POW WWII under the Japanese) had PTSD. I had an interesting childhood. We lived in a very rural area anyway, but, as a PTSD family, we avoided people, crowds etc. None of us kids ever went to the circus, theatre, cinema, parties etc etc as “we would just come home with some bug”. We had a holiday home in the most remote part of Ireland…. when we went to the beach, we left if there was one other family….. eventually we all learned just to swim off the rocks in front of our house – no people. Dad was the manager of a fishing lodge, very elite guests, and only a few at a time, so that worked well. To de-stress, he loved his garden. He was very balanced, he smoked (unusual for someone as wise and health-conscious as him), and very much unto himself.
Now I have PTSD, and hope to find someone who can help me. I think my sister also has it, which might explain her episodes of depression, and the fact that both she and I prefer to work from home (= safe, away from the unpredictable events caused by other humans!!!)
I whole-heartedly agree that PTSD is a ‘family event’, and I really hope someone out there can help me to overcome my issues around people, my fear of being attacked publicly, all the insomnia and anxiety…… however I live in France now, and any support would have to be in English.
Had a nasty PTSD-driven day two days ago (observed abuse of a good person by those in authority), and found I could do nothing all day, totally exhausted, crying off and on. I relaxed, did yoga, did yoga nidra and all the coping tools I have found help me cope. It then hit me like a sledge-hammer that the reason I am the primary carer for my mother who has advanced Alzheimers, is that it serves a purpose: a PTSD purpose. I remain isolated from main-stream life, I cannot work (earn a living) as Mum needs me (consider all the financial implications of this).
I just wish I knew a way to get over this horrible, horrible debilitating disease. Is there any one of your readers who would consider working with me (free of charge as we are now so poor due to my seeminly ‘humanitarian decision’ to care for Mum full-time) via phone, email, Skype? I would love to know what it is like to be ME. Not PTSD driven me. If anyone could/would help me, please reply and I will supply my phone and email. It is a long shot but the world is full of good people. Thank you!
Claire,
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel that attending to the whole family in treatment of PTSD is necessary and would be most beneficial to recovery of the ‘primary PTSD person’. There are simple techniques that could be brought into a lifestyle – to bring PTSD ‘into the light’ (with love and without any judgement) within a family or for a person caring for their self.
So good to know you are observing yourself and taking action toward wellness. I would be happy to work with you gratis. I’m very interested in your situation. If you Google my full name you’ll find me, my website is my full name .com.
Dear Claire,
I am also a military brat born during the Vietnam war. I am not a therapist, but if you need a friend, perhaps we could encourage each other on our way up out of the trenches? I also have a mother with Alzheimer’s, a fact I do not think is a coincidence. One thing (besides therapy) that has helped me immensely is a specific kind of writing, as detailed in James Pennebaker’s book “Opening Up” and expanded on in “Writing as a Way of Healing”, by Louise Desalvo.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth
I found a way that has worked wonders for many thousands of people.
Please look at a special journaling book series… by Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D. .. Recovery of Your Inner Child would be the first book .. and do the exercises in the privacy of your own home.