• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

NICABM home pageNICABM

Better outcomes. More quickly.

  • Home
  • Courses
  • Experts
  • Blog
  • Your Courses
  • Contact

Applying the 3 Circles Model of Emotion to Help Clients Heal Shame [Infographic]

59 Comments

According to Paul Gilbert, PhD, we have three types of emotion regulation systems – we’ve got the Threat System, the Drive System, and the Soothing System.

Now when a client is stuck in a painful cycle of self-criticism and shame, it’s often because these three systems are out of balance.

You see, many clients spend the majority of their time caught in the threat and drive systems – and this can lead to distress.

So how can we help our clients get a better sense of where they might be out of balance, and begin to notice whether their soothing system might be underdeveloped?

We thought it would be helpful for you to have this infographic to use with your clients. (Feel free to make a copy of this to share).

Click the image to enlarge

how to help clients heal shame infographic

Click here for the text-only version of the infographic
Three Circles of Emotional Regulation
According to Paul Gilbert’s model, people often switch between three different systems to manage their emotions.

Drive System
Function: Achieve Goals, Consume, Accomplish Tasks

Soothing System
Function: Slow down, Soothe, Rest and Digest, Safeness, Kindness, Care

Threat System
Function: Manage Threats, Protection, Survive, Seek Safety

Although we may not realize it, many of us spend the majority of our time in threat and drive, which can lead to imbalanced emotions and distress. It can be important to notice if your soothing system is underdeveloped.

In order to help you get a sense of where you might be out of balance, your practitioner may ask you to imagine how big each of your circles is.

Adapted from Gilbert, P. (2009). He Compassionate Mind: A New Approach To Life’s Challenges. London: Constable and Robinson.

 

Sharing Dr. Gilbert’s three circles model could be a good way to help clients become more aware of when they are in a state of threat. Not only that, it can help them learn how to shift out of the threat system and into safeness and connection.

If you’d like to print a copy to share, just click here: Color or Print-friendly

(Please be sure to include the NICABM logo as well as the credit to Paul Gilbert. We put a lot of work into creating these resources for you. Thanks!)

To hear more from Dr. Gilbert, please join us for the master series on The Clinical Application of Compassion – here’s the link where you can sign up.

Now we’d like to hear from you. How will you use this in your work with clients? Please leave a comment below.

Shares5.3kFacebookTweetLinkedInEmailPin

Related Posts: Body-Oriented Therapy, Brain, Infographics, PTSD, Shame

Please Leave A Comment Cancel reply

59 Comments

  1. Victoria Davies, Other, GB says

    Very simple and powerful… I’ve been in the constant threat space and easily move it into it and this is a perfect illustration of simple truth. Love it

    Reply
  2. Sigrun Eng, Supervisor, NO says

    Great graphic! But it leaves me wonder – should all three circles be of about the same size? Personally, I could use a lot more drive, and my soothe-circle is quite big in my system. Would we also need the threat-circle to be balanced with the others – around the same size? It seems to me that the threat-system is not so much needed in our society, and I’m wondering if it should be a goal to minimize those aspects (that circle) so we end up with two big circles (drive and soothe) and one very small (threat)?

    Reply
  3. CINDY FORT, Counseling, Fort Worth, TX, USA says

    Thank you for another great infographic!

    I am creating a course for using compassion focused therapy with spirituality for Christians. May I use this infographic as long as I keep all of the identifying logos and give credit?

    Thank you in advance!

    Reply
  4. Michelle Horne, Other, GB says

    Hi
    My name is Michelle Horne. I suffer from multiple sclerosis and am now retired. I used to work in Hammersmith and the Royal Free Hospital’s as a Medical Secretary / P.A for many years.
    I also am now a single mother.
    I find your work fascinating and would love to read more about working with stress and abandoment.
    I know the likely hood of my returning to work in hospitals at the moment is quite small, but as medication improves for suffers i will like to try to keep up to date on modern thinking of these topics.

    Best regards
    Michelle Horne

    Reply
  5. Joanna Devereaux, Counseling, GB says

    I really love this and my clients are benefitting.

    Many thanks

    Joanna

    Reply
  6. Helen Matthews, Dietetics, NW, LA, USA says

    Is it possible that the days and time could be extended to Fridays or else? My off schedule doesn’t allow me to watch any of them to participate. But thank you for the chart.

    Reply
  7. Georgina A., Another Field, CA says

    I think this is missing something. There are two aspects of protection: one lives in the threat system, the other (or perhaps I should say the other half) lives in the ‘soothe’ system.

    Nothing kicks an individual into feeling safe and soothed, and allowing them to access their parasympathetic, faster (or deeper) than knowing they have a connected other dedicated to keeping them safe: actively protecting them, and ensuring their well-being. This is an action performed by fathers and husbands, and mothers and wives, differently depending on whether the person being protected is the spouse, child or adult offspring.

    Without that protective, caring connection, it’s almost impossible for people to go into, let alone stay for any length of time, within their parasympathetic system.

    Reply
    • Dixie X, Nursing, Kingston, NY, USA says

      Georgina A., your comment strikes me as so insightful as to be a kind of message of epiphany for this work. I agree on the centrality of needing to know the experience of a safe and protective person one can identify as having had in their life. When the most central person to the traumatized individual has been masquerading as their loving (mother…) but has not, in fact, protected them nor had their safety and well-being as a real priority, who in the world can they internalize to provide the necessary experience of safety and reliability? This is a component that needs to be cultivated in the abstract; one has to be one’s own parent. I agree that recognition of this component in the model is, perhaps, weak; maybe the experts can speak to this in the future?

      Reply
  8. Marie Brindt, Social Work, Houston, TX, USA says

    Emotions are ongoing. Let’s not have them take over. This is a great chart. Does anyone have suggestions about how to soothe the stress within at work? I live music but sounds can disturbs .

    Reply
    • D J, Counseling, Omaha, NE, USA says

      try “quick coherence” Youtube video; “Heart Math”

      Reply
  9. Deb Retired BC 3112, Student, Wofford Heights , CA, USA says

    With open heart, mind and soul??
    ??‍♀️???deb

    Reply
  10. Barbara Rubel, Stress Management, Kendall Park, NJ, USA says

    This is very similar to the model I use when talking about my FABULOUS principle. Attendees can understand what is said so much better through this type of diagram.
    Barbara Rubel

    Reply
  11. Elspeth Lewis, Coach, GB says

    A really powerful visual. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  12. Veronica Oxer, Psychotherapy, AR says

    great tool!! thanks so much!

    Reply
    • Bob Markle, Social Work, Weston, MA, USA says

      Pretty thing, what’s better than this to show to the clients. Totally agree.

      Reply
  13. Victor Parra, Social Work, Los angeles, CA, USA says

    Hmm, wondering what circle depression goes into? Anybody care to comment?

    Reply
    • JB Pasadena , Ca, Another Field, Pasadena, CA, USA says

      THREAT..I would think

      Reply
      • Lulu, Psychotherapy, Melbourne, FL, USA says

        Awareness and somatic …could it be

        Reply
    • Anthony Edwards, Psychotherapy, AU says

      Threat

      Reply
    • Sheona Goodyear, Teacher, GB says

      I think Paul Gilbert’s work would suggest low drive + low ability to soothe along with high sense of threat contributes to development of depression? (I am not an expert) (oops – see – self critical and history of shame!)

      Reply
  14. Bob Williams, Stress Management, Pennsylvania, DC, USA says

    For some reason, I see this chart perfectly well as one circle or a Venn Diagram would look great. But it is just me….

    Thanks for your kind work.

    Reply
  15. Joann Thomas, Health Education, , DC, USA says

    I believe there is a factor missing but could be included in the distress of the environmental stress, of any type, it could be socio-emotional as well as psychological. Most of the time, a book and a hot drink (chamomille, tisane, tea, coffee) would be quite soothing at any time, for me. Before and after exercise. I found the list here is very short and it takes down to rest, digest, kindness, care, and slow down. Being out of sight and outdoor for fresh air, all this can be soothing, as well as a warm hot bath (lavender, etc.) Just have to do with what you have at hand. That’s from my emergency readiness training :0)

    Reply
  16. Benji Lindsay, Social Work, , MO, USA says

    There’s is some similarities and for sure some differences for its use among the ethnic groups. My workplace provides with many of the knowledges that can only be enriching when referring to this chart. There should be no “walls” between ethnics groups and the “common humanity” is obvious here. Great chart, thanks.

    Reply
  17. Selina Ma, Marriage/Family Therapy, CA says

    Thank you so much! I totally agree Dr. Paul Gilbert’s model. As a multi-cultural therapist, this model can assist me to understand our emotions. Lots of Chinese didn’t aware the importance of soothing system but spending most of time in threat, and even drive systems to lead unbalanced emotions.

    I will continue to explain this chart to my clients.

    Reply
    • Benedict T, Stress Management, VG says

      When the drive is a function and on tasks, any thought that arises could be an interpretation and as be critical to the well-being of the person. Dr. G’s pretty much a great model that has a threat system alarm awaking for survival. I don’t understand why the threat system is linked to the function of safety when it is connected “directly” to the threats and survival. How would this happen and “simultaneously”, what is the arrows indicating is that “something” happens, am I missing something from theVid? I agree with how you can achieve goals by slowing down, consuming and pay attention to digestion, and seek safety when accomplishing tasks, all of this seems overlapping, briefly speaking, it is a very diffunctioning system without knowing the locality of each point of attach in the system.

      Reply
  18. Margie Neugebauer, Counseling, Hermosa, SD, USA says

    Thank you for sharing this graphic. Very helpful in seeing the three systems. Also helps me
    understand my own emotions.

    Reply
  19. Stephan TOQUE, Another Field, GB says

    Really helpful to be able to clearly visualize these three types of emotional regulation systems. It will be really useful for clients as it will enable them to get a better sense of “where they are” in relation to these three circles. Determining how big each of their circles is will also show them what part of their emotional “landscape” needs to be more balanced. Truly a great resource… Thanks for making it available in such a beautiful infographic!

    Reply
  20. Martie Leys, Other, Petaluma, CA, USA says

    Thank you for this resource so generously shared. I intend to write a blog post that will appear on the Integrative Mediation Bay Area (IMBA) website. I will also talk about self soothing and have 3 circles handouts available for my divorce clients.

    Reply
  21. Sue Jackson, Coach, GB says

    Thank you for sharing this resource, it’s very valuable and thought provoking. Sue Jackson

    Reply
  22. Stephanie Church, Teacher, Wildwood, MO, USA says

    Thank you for this wonderful resource. I think it is wonderful to have visual representations of concepts to embed the image, if not the words alone, to memory.

    Reply
  23. Nasim Mugh, Psychotherapy, PK says

    Wow. Thanks so much. It’s a treat

    Reply
  24. Elizabeth Lee, Nursing, Little Rock, AR, USA says

    Very helpful! Thank you!

    Reply
  25. Lily R, Other, Boulder, CO, USA says

    I’ve been working with self-compassion practices which seem to bring me into the Soothing System. Thank you, Ruth, and Paul Gilbert!

    Reply
  26. Nalini Persaud, Another Field, GB says

    Wow, really helpful to see it visually. I think I have been in the threat zone since childhood and didnt know until recently and yes tried to achieve goals, to succeed but depression got in the way. Only recently learning to sooth myself because of being triggered, the wounded child. I am 61 and all this has been unconscious, I have been meditating and the Buddhist centre has helped me to realise this, as it was so deeply buried, from 4 years old. Thank you so much.

    Reply
  27. Annett Schmiedel, Psychotherapy, DE says

    Sorry, but Oxytocin and Dopamine aren’t hormones, they are neurotransmitters. Nevertheless a helpful graphic.

    Reply
    • Cori Read, Coach, Dallas, TX, USA says

      I believe it is a hormone and a neurotransmitter.

      Reply
    • Susan Spitz, Medicine, Newton, MA, USA says

      Oxytocin is indeed a hormone. Dopamine is both a neurotransmitter and a hormone (as it has many functions outside of the central nervous system).

      Reply
  28. Christiane Manzella, Psychology, New York, NY, USA says

    Have you connected this to the polyvagal system? Drive system and soothe system seems to reflect ventral vagus and threat system the SNS (or HPA axis). Nice graphic. Thanks

    Reply
    • Catherine Spence, Psychotherapy, GB says

      I was wondering this. Maybe Drive is the more benevolent end of the SNS, and Threat is combination of SNS and Dorsal? Soothing sounds all Ventral.

      Reply
  29. Maura Kalafut, Counseling, Cohutta, GA, USA says

    This is marvelous, especially the idea to have the clients draw their own info graphic and depict where they are by changing the size of each circle to reflect where they are personally

    Reply
  30. Cindy Fort, Counseling, Fort Worth, TX, USA says

    Thank you for sharing this! I was going to make my own after last week’s session since it was such a practical way to demonstrate what the brain is doing (to myself and clients) but I just hadn’t had time yet…

    Reply
  31. Alexandra Burg, Social Work, Cleveland , OH, USA says

    Thank you for sharing this. It will be very helpful in my sessions with clients. I appreciate it!

    Reply
  32. Cecelia Ware, Nursing, Pittsburgh , PA, USA says

    Thank you. I will share this poster with the youth that I work with. It gives them a visual of their emotions and a clearer understanding of how we can shift from one to the other.

    Reply
  33. Evelyn Johanna, Counseling, AU says

    It is really helpful for clients to to shift out from threat system and to safety and connection.

    Reply
  34. Michelle Paton, Psychotherapy, GB says

    Absolutely fantastic resource. Thanks you!!

    Reply
  35. Aline Bangert, Counseling, DE says

    Thank you so much! This is wonderful and helpful and appreciated.

    Reply
  36. Majella Ryan, Psychotherapy, IE says

    Thank you so much for so generously sharing this. I love it as a reminder to myself to notice where I am operating from and as a tool to use with clients so they too can begin to notice where they are and what they might need.

    Reply
  37. Janey Kelf, Counseling, AU says

    Thankyou I love the clarity, very useful

    Reply
  38. Yehudis Meshchaninov, Coach, monsey, NY, USA says

    This is wonderful. I so appreciate the work put into making it clear and simple. I especially love that it shows the hormone that is activated. It would also be great to know the brain part associated with each system.

    Reply
  39. catherine fortin, Medicine, FR says

    Thank you.This is most helpful

    Reply
  40. Jennifer Chadwick, Teacher, AU says

    Wow! This is so appreciated. Thank you for putting this together and sharing it with us. Jen

    Reply
  41. Carletta Daniels, Counseling, Stringtown, OK, USA says

    Very helpful! I appreciate you sharing this. It helps to have a visual to show a client.

    Reply
  42. Rona Waldon-Saunders, Counseling, GB says

    Thank you so much! I was looking for this information and graphic online but couldn’t find one I could print and use with clients so this is wonderful!

    Reply
  43. Vera Steisslinger, Counseling, DE says

    Thank you so much! This is invaluable in showing at a glance how we need to keep the balance between the different states of our Autonomic Nervous System. You are doing wonderful work!

    Reply
  44. doris Goehl, Coach, DE says

    HI and thanks so very much, this is very helpful. I certainly will use it together with my clients.
    Namasate

    Doris

    Reply
  45. Susan M Craig, Nursing, IT says

    Thank you NICABM for your continuing generosity in sharing a wealth of webinars and in enriching our toolkits !!!

    Reply
  46. Natasha Solovieff, Nursing, Mpls, MN, USA says

    I used it recently with parents to reinforce the necessity, in modern parenting times, to intentionally center ourselves in order to access our best responses. Everyone got quiet – it hit home.

    I’m also going to use it with moms who’re looking for new responses to their child after their own traumatic childhoods.

    Reply
    • S. Elizabeth Snyder, Health Education, Asheville, NC, USA says

      Really exceptional, thank you! The Compassion Based Therapy webinar series is opening up so many new insights and applications. Sending much gratitude to NICABM for its continued excellent programming.

      Reply
      • Bell, Another Field, AU says

        Unfortunately I am no longer in practice but CBT seems quite appropriate for many clients, if I had them, as patients. And Compassion Based Therapy would certainly a good option and result. Bravo, Dr. Bell

        Reply

Recent Posts

  • Working with Racial Trauma and Gaslighting – with Usha Tummala-Narra, PhD
  • A Strategy to Help Clients Manage Emotional Triggers – with Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD
  • Reporting In – Giving Back in 2022
  • A Polyvagal Approach to Working with Shame – with Stephen Porges, PhD
  • Treating Relational Trauma – with Terry Real, MSW, LICSW

Categories

  • Antiracism
  • Anxiety
  • Attachment
  • Body-Oriented Therapy
  • Brain
  • Charity
  • Chronic Pain
  • Compassion
  • COVID-19 Pandemic
  • Depression
  • Exercise and Mental Health
  • Fear
  • Healing Trauma
  • Infographics
  • Mindfulness
  • Nervous System
  • Neuroplasticity
  • Perfectionism
  • PTSD
  • Relationships
  • Resentment
  • Shame
  • Spirituality
  • Trauma
  • Trauma Therapy
  • Unworthiness

40 Wilbur Cross Way Suite 102
Storrs, CT 06268
(860) 477-1450

NICABM Logo

About Us
FAQs
Contact Us
Courses
Claim CE/CMEs
Accreditation
ADA Accommodation
Hiring
SITEMAP PRIVACY POLICY TERMS OF USE

CONNECT WITH US

Facebook Logo YouTube Logo Twitter Logo Instagram Logo

40 Wilbur Cross Way, Suite 102
Storrs, CT 06268
Phone: (860) 477-1450
Fax: (860) 423-4512
respond@nicabm.com
Copyright © 2023

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!