For many clients, letting go of resentment can be a struggle – especially when the pain of betrayal or trauma makes it feel well-earned.
So how do we help when resentment is preventing clients from moving forward and developing healthy relationships?
In the video below, Lynn Lyons LICSW will share 2 steps that can help shift a client’s burden of resentment without invalidating the pain that created it.
For more strategies for working with resentment, check out this course featuring Thema Bryant, PhD; Richard Schwartz, PhD; Christine Padesky, PhD; Pat Ogden, PhD; and other leaders in the field.
Now we’d like to hear from you. What strategies do you use to reframe resentment? Let us know in the comments below.
can you recommend any trauma informed mental health clinicians in Brisbane, Australia. I follow your posts on instagram and I know I need a professional who is trained in the topics raised in these Posts. trauma informed clinicians in Australia, dont appear to exist, or, only have a developing knowledge of the topic. it’s not in the mainstream here.
thank you.
It occurred to me
That i find myself confronted to my automatic negatives thoughts. Have never had a diagnostic or PTSD if sone sort , just referred to a neurofeedback practionner. Could anyone help me find one ? Or a trustworhwhy hypnosis experienced ? Thank you
Hi Tia,
Thank you for taking the time to write us. Unfortunately, we do not offer referrals, nor do we release any information about the practitioners who’ve participated in any of our trainings.
I can, however, recommend that you check out this database through Psychology Today.
Through this site, you’re able to search for therapists and support groups based on location, and filter through the results based on a variety of factors – specialties, approaches, and methods.
I am sorry I can’t be of further assistance, but I do hope this is a step in the right direction and helpful in finding the resources you need.
Thank you 🙏
So brilliant, this simple idea of taking a bit of distance to observe our pattern. Starting there means healing is possible. Also what a great way of learning to receive compassion and learning to be compassionnate with ourselves. What a wonderfull way to eventually being capable of authentically letting go!
Thank you so much for these clips.
I have allowed myself to feel , and I do observe my resentments ….. however I also feel to much pressure to let go and move on from people around me and never talk about that feeling or event of betrayal ….. I am trying hard myself to validate my hurts but it does come up at some places and it is so quick … with a slip of tongue or an unwanted hand or face gesture that others get triggered….. I am unable to control it don’t know how to work on it.
When two brothers are fighting madly, we pull them apart, make them listen to each other, and guide them to a resolution. The alternative is more bullying and more fighting.
Isn’t it the same with conflicting emotions?
If the resentment has a factual basis, or definitely “check the facts”from DBT, then these” higher hanging emotional fruits (pains)” – resistant to CBT methods highly likely. Relating to the resentment differently can often be the only way, which is where ACT can be the most powerful. Great advice here.
thank you I have found that what you said about people getting mad at you when you try to get them to let go is so true
Giving them “permission ” to feel the way they feel helps to move forward even if it is baby steps at a time
Incredibly good as usual, always practically focussed and helpful whilst grounded in solid theory. Thank you to everyone involved in these educational posts.