I felt like the whole world is against me, I am powerless and having self-compassion or safe-hatred doesn’t change a thing. Looking forward to the next part though.
Thank You for this sharing 🙏 I feel unresolved childhood neglect has had a big impact on my personal experience of being able, and not able, to accept myself and have a sense of self worth. over time, shoeing up to meet the needs of the young neglected self has helped me to rise above deep levels of despair.
I felt reluctant to allow myself kindness. Somehow kindness to myself or my feelings doesn’t often feel like an option. Even though I know I can be kind to myself and it is beneficial, it is certainly not automatic and I really feel like I need to get “permission” to be kind to myself or my feelings.
Nancy Di Giorgio, Counseling, East Longmeadow, MA, USAsays
Dear Nathaniel – thank you for your vulnerability. I am from CA – been living in WMA for 12 years. Density here – fear of change. Reflecting mine?! Your word permission is what I work with and the WHY of it – inner child in despair/lack of hope. My e-mail happyndg@yahoo.com.
Reminded me to be as caring and compassionate as I am to others to myself. It has reminded me that I often push myself to do things I should do rather than what I need to do to be the healthiest , happiest person. I need to be true to myself. I will take this forward in my day to help me be brave and question “is this decision good for me as well as others around me” thank you 🙏
carol richmond, Coach, Lindrith New Mexico, NM, USAsays
Tara,
I feel much better after listening to your story and challenge to be kind to ourselves. I heard your work on resilience and really resonated with it. I am disappointing myself that I can’t share my love with my new granddaughter yet. There is so much anxiety from others. I need to learn how to live around the anxiety of others and still be ok with myself.
thanks
I was reminded that time as a I don’t have to solve these issues right away. I can acknowledge and sit with them, feel them without bringing judgement and escalation. I can see this time as part of this journey of being human. I can remind myself that I am valued, capable and worthy.
Anabella Antonino, Teacher, Santa Cruz, CA, USAsays
I feel afraid at first and I want to reject the feeling, then I would feel that I can understand what is happening inside me. That I can recognize my pain and understand me better?
I have recently begun to be compassionate towards myself for surviving through an early traumatic life. I changed from beating myself up for being the person I was, to still being sad I was but being kind to myself about it. I loved the 2 things you said about not judging and being kind to others. It would be a wonderful world if this could ever be so. However I have always found judgement, condemnation and therefore rejection from people. It never stops – but at least I am not so devastated anymore!
Diana Krewinkel, Another Field, Hillside, NJ, USAsays
For the past several months I have become open to wishing others guidance along their Divine Path, In so doing I honor their sovereignty and mine as well. In some moments it can still be challenging but I honor myself and that I an not responsible for anyone else’s/ self-imposed Problems.
I I inhale and clear my thoughts to center myself. I allow the other person to be where they are and both stabd in our sovereignty.
When offering kindness to myself, I felt my body relax. Sometimes when I start ruminating about a thing, I say to my mind,” drop it!”, as you would talk to a dog who had grabbed onto something that wasn’t good for it. It makes me chuckle.
Diana Hantsche, Another Field, Fullerton, CA, USAsays
My mother passed away on September 1st this year. I’m grieving daily for her loss, however, it manifests in different ways each day. I’m going to accept whatever way grief feels each day and not judge it. I will be kind to myself while grieving the loss of my dear mother.
I had used the hand on my heart and taking deep breaths before as a centering move but would like to add more of the internal speaking to myself as well. Sometimes without even thinking about it I say “I’ve got this” but to just be more thoughtful and adding some each time would be of great benefit. This would also assist the students I work with in that they can add a new skill to their other calming techniques to determine which would work best for them and where they are at in their journey.
I feel anger. It’s at the surface. I’m tired of being angry, as I’ve been in this space for many years. I can’t bring kindness to anger and self-loathing. Those feelings are too strong right now.
I could bring kindness to my feelings of unworthiness. However it is for me more difficult for accept and to be at peace to all my suffering over the years. Why so much, at times, unnecessay suffering?. Perhaps accept what it is as it is but how accept the nastiness of it?
Well I accept that is where I am at the moment and is OK
I felt a sense of anxiety and restlessness. Anxiety makes me feel that I can’t do something that I want or need to do. Restlessness makes me feel like I need to take action, but that I am somehow preventing myself from doing it and that feeds the cycle of anxiety/restlessness again.
First I got stuck because I couldn’t identify what I was experiencing and I got stressed and felt pressure to find or choose something to continue with but there was too much. And then I somehow thought that maybe that overwhelm and not being able to choose ‘the right experience’ was the experience itself. I reacted with kindness to this and immediately I felt a sense of calm within me and my shoulders relaxed. Thank you!!!!!
First i thoyght: I’m so sad. I’ve been hurt so much. Apparently I feel like I should hurt myself like everyone else has hurt me. I’m so flawed. Then: a softening…
I am overly critical of myself and as I get older, it seems to intensify. I don’t know why I am so hard on myself and become my own worst enemy. I am so not happy with that. I try to be kind to myself as much as possible. Being still in the moment helps clear my mind and calms my inner critic. I feel peaceful and open to what the Universe offers. I vow to do that more often.
I think I’m good at being empathetic towards others but not myself. I give others the benefit of the doubt but not myself. I have a hard time or avoid facing and feeling my own pain, thus have a hard time releasing it. I am working on this but seem to still struggle . This seems like such a dichotomy.
I connected with my inner child and brought loving tenderness and support assuring her and myself, we can do this, I can accept and forgive myself, accept feelings fear, worry and excitement and open up to joy more.
I found it was ok- although my inner critic was condemning me for being a mess, I reminded myself that I have had a difficult summer and that I have gotten a lot of work done even in the face of those difficulties. it’s been hard work, so no wonder I feel fragile and stressed
Melissa Buot-Favazza, Another Field, Southfield, MI, USAsays
I know I’m not being kind to myself. I have a lot of anger, regrets, and resentment. I’m struggling to let go the past. Although, I’m intelligent to what’s going on with my life… I just fall into depression and sleep the day away.
I distracted myself and thought about the children I work with.
I went from feeling hopeless to feeling relieved and hopeful.
I felt like the whole world is against me, I am powerless and having self-compassion or safe-hatred doesn’t change a thing. Looking forward to the next part though.
Thank You for this sharing 🙏 I feel unresolved childhood neglect has had a big impact on my personal experience of being able, and not able, to accept myself and have a sense of self worth. over time, shoeing up to meet the needs of the young neglected self has helped me to rise above deep levels of despair.
I felt reluctant to allow myself kindness. Somehow kindness to myself or my feelings doesn’t often feel like an option. Even though I know I can be kind to myself and it is beneficial, it is certainly not automatic and I really feel like I need to get “permission” to be kind to myself or my feelings.
Dear Nathaniel – thank you for your vulnerability. I am from CA – been living in WMA for 12 years. Density here – fear of change. Reflecting mine?! Your word permission is what I work with and the WHY of it – inner child in despair/lack of hope. My e-mail happyndg@yahoo.com.
Calmed me down. Felt peaceful and more grounded and sure of myself.
Less worried about something going wrong and more inspired, aware of the moment and able to create joy.
Thank you so much.
Sending love ,
Emma X
My emotions shifted from disgust to hope.
Felt a little bit uncomfortable to bring kindness tmyself
Reminded me to be as caring and compassionate as I am to others to myself. It has reminded me that I often push myself to do things I should do rather than what I need to do to be the healthiest , happiest person. I need to be true to myself. I will take this forward in my day to help me be brave and question “is this decision good for me as well as others around me” thank you 🙏
I am not sure.
A general awareness of where I am ‘at” right now.
Then trying to bring some compassion to this birds nest of thoughts and feelings.
I felt resistance and anger that I can’t have life on my terms.
Tara,
I feel much better after listening to your story and challenge to be kind to ourselves. I heard your work on resilience and really resonated with it. I am disappointing myself that I can’t share my love with my new granddaughter yet. There is so much anxiety from others. I need to learn how to live around the anxiety of others and still be ok with myself.
thanks
Dismay that there was judgement.
I was reminded that time as a I don’t have to solve these issues right away. I can acknowledge and sit with them, feel them without bringing judgement and escalation. I can see this time as part of this journey of being human. I can remind myself that I am valued, capable and worthy.
I feel afraid at first and I want to reject the feeling, then I would feel that I can understand what is happening inside me. That I can recognize my pain and understand me better?
I have recently begun to be compassionate towards myself for surviving through an early traumatic life. I changed from beating myself up for being the person I was, to still being sad I was but being kind to myself about it. I loved the 2 things you said about not judging and being kind to others. It would be a wonderful world if this could ever be so. However I have always found judgement, condemnation and therefore rejection from people. It never stops – but at least I am not so devastated anymore!
The difficult feelings were able to rest when I offered my support. It quieted them.
I felt some localization and containment of these feelings in my upper chest, and some warmth there.
For the past several months I have become open to wishing others guidance along their Divine Path, In so doing I honor their sovereignty and mine as well. In some moments it can still be challenging but I honor myself and that I an not responsible for anyone else’s/ self-imposed Problems.
I I inhale and clear my thoughts to center myself. I allow the other person to be where they are and both stabd in our sovereignty.
When offering kindness to myself, I felt my body relax. Sometimes when I start ruminating about a thing, I say to my mind,” drop it!”, as you would talk to a dog who had grabbed onto something that wasn’t good for it. It makes me chuckle.
My mother passed away on September 1st this year. I’m grieving daily for her loss, however, it manifests in different ways each day. I’m going to accept whatever way grief feels each day and not judge it. I will be kind to myself while grieving the loss of my dear mother.
Doubt
I had used the hand on my heart and taking deep breaths before as a centering move but would like to add more of the internal speaking to myself as well. Sometimes without even thinking about it I say “I’ve got this” but to just be more thoughtful and adding some each time would be of great benefit. This would also assist the students I work with in that they can add a new skill to their other calming techniques to determine which would work best for them and where they are at in their journey.
Grateful for the reminder of belonging – and the invitation to radical acceptance, of myself, as a bridge to more kindness & connection to others.
I feel anger. It’s at the surface. I’m tired of being angry, as I’ve been in this space for many years. I can’t bring kindness to anger and self-loathing. Those feelings are too strong right now.
I could bring kindness to my feelings of unworthiness. However it is for me more difficult for accept and to be at peace to all my suffering over the years. Why so much, at times, unnecessay suffering?. Perhaps accept what it is as it is but how accept the nastiness of it?
Well I accept that is where I am at the moment and is OK
It has a soothing effect.
Trying was all I could do? The tight feeling would not let go but for a second, just a little. I think more of it will be needed.
I was in a place of kindness before watching the video. I still am.
I felt a sense of anxiety and restlessness. Anxiety makes me feel that I can’t do something that I want or need to do. Restlessness makes me feel like I need to take action, but that I am somehow preventing myself from doing it and that feeds the cycle of anxiety/restlessness again.
I felt relief and gratitude to myself for allowing my feelings to be there and attending to them.
First I got stuck because I couldn’t identify what I was experiencing and I got stressed and felt pressure to find or choose something to continue with but there was too much. And then I somehow thought that maybe that overwhelm and not being able to choose ‘the right experience’ was the experience itself. I reacted with kindness to this and immediately I felt a sense of calm within me and my shoulders relaxed. Thank you!!!!!
First i thoyght: I’m so sad. I’ve been hurt so much. Apparently I feel like I should hurt myself like everyone else has hurt me. I’m so flawed. Then: a softening…
sadness, regret that i haven’t been kind to myself. I’ve been focused on blaming myself
Beautiful, just perfect message for my unworthiness part. I love the way Tara explains it and put herself in it.
I am overly critical of myself and as I get older, it seems to intensify. I don’t know why I am so hard on myself and become my own worst enemy. I am so not happy with that. I try to be kind to myself as much as possible. Being still in the moment helps clear my mind and calms my inner critic. I feel peaceful and open to what the Universe offers. I vow to do that more often.
A softening of the harshness of judgement and a sadness that about it.
I think I’m good at being empathetic towards others but not myself. I give others the benefit of the doubt but not myself. I have a hard time or avoid facing and feeling my own pain, thus have a hard time releasing it. I am working on this but seem to still struggle . This seems like such a dichotomy.
My feeling deepened
The biggest challenge is the acceptance without judgement.
I connected with my inner child and brought loving tenderness and support assuring her and myself, we can do this, I can accept and forgive myself, accept feelings fear, worry and excitement and open up to joy more.
Maybe kindness softened something. Brought me closer to being with suffering and pain. Not blocking it.
I felt some sadness coming up, and getting tired
I found it was ok- although my inner critic was condemning me for being a mess, I reminded myself that I have had a difficult summer and that I have gotten a lot of work done even in the face of those difficulties. it’s been hard work, so no wonder I feel fragile and stressed
I felt supported, loved. Not alone anymore
Hello Tara
Thank you for the video
I felt small and emotion arising
My body warmed up
Just realising how little I value myself.
I felt slightly less sad and am looking forward to the next part.
I know I’m not being kind to myself. I have a lot of anger, regrets, and resentment. I’m struggling to let go the past. Although, I’m intelligent to what’s going on with my life… I just fall into depression and sleep the day away.
It’s very recognizable for me. I’m a giver, but self love …rarely get it.I’m learning it, it’s never too late.