Thank you for sharing. I, also, liked the neurological explanation because I find amazing how science can bring out some answers that are mesmerizing. I have not been very good in science from the beginning, but I have a degree in psychology. This is something I also think is my great milestone. In a way, this is, for me, to validate the work that scientists and professionals are doing in their everyday life. One time, I had a therapist who asked me to go for a walk outside and take him up on it, but, seriously, I thought he was joking! So we sat indoor.
Helpful as I work in the K-12 school system. A large portion of parents with struggling children want to find someone else to blame. Talking to them of the difference between responsibility and blame may help them feel comfortable taking responsibility for fixing something about their child they know they did not cause.
Very informative and interesting as well as helpful. This is a personal family problem I feel a need to address. I missed the free webinar,I wasn’t available, but this introduction was helpful. Thanks so much. Janet Cordes
Good content… live role modeling examples help me integrate the concept .. Is that why perhaps why the Dr Phil show inspires some people?
Looking forward to more training!
The Program was very helpful as both a reminder and with picking up some new tactics.
I work with a lot of clients who have anger problems . initially they are looking for validation to blame others .
recognizing the 2 approaches of narrative vs becoming aware of sensations and inner feelings is a helpful way to direct the session.
THank you. That was all helpful. The only part I don’t use with clients is the role of the brain (i.e. the default mode). It seems it gets them too much in their heads thinking about and trying to make sense vs. experiencing. The rest of it is very applicable to some of my clients and I appreciate the free viewing.
Thank you. I liked the neurological explanation. I tend to follow a very similar process and found this incredibly validating. I often ask clients if they want to go for a walk outside but unfortunately no one takes me up on it. This gives me a few ideas for a mindfulness group we are developing and provides evidence for what we were discussing regarding bringing in more experiential practice.
Might ask them what they believe their part in the situation is or was.Might offer some self reflection journaling homework. Would look for some childhood hx of emotional neglect.
Paced breathing helps (for myself, not for the client 🙂 ). Seriously though, validation is definitely key. Then I might ask the client to float back in time to a situation where they felt accepted and loved… if possible… to help the client get out of “the world is out to get me” mindset. It’s a mindful exercise that focuses on feelings and provides some sense of hope. It does not always work, as some are just too determined to be unable to recall anything positive. Yet when it does, it creates a shift of focus from the other person to the client’s awareness of their emotion and need for a change. It turns them toward what they are seeking and away from their anger or pain. Following that, mindfulness techniques and meditation would hopefully be brought in when the client was on board.
One strategy I find useful (for myself, and sometimes on others) is trying to put oneself in the other’s shoes, and see where they are coming from, asking why did they do the things they do, that angered or upset me?
I suppose that is like directing the brain to be more aware of the context, seeing the overall picture and less of the solo self?
I tell my clients, who blame others, this statement.
“I am very sorry that someone hurt you so badly but the greatest injustice of all is that you are still allowing them to hurt you.”
I have been using DBT skills of Mindfulness, Diary Cards, and Behavior Chains to help a particular client stuck in blaming her alcoholic husband to increase her self awareness of how her own feelings of shame contribute to problem behaviors of angry yelling, blaming, and even homicidal ideation toward husband resulting in more shame and ineffective coping with increased use of anxiety medications. I am attempting to help client increase awareness and connection to her body sensations through self soothe with 5 senses and will begin to teach client emotional regulation skills to increase emotional awareness.
I realized most adults i work with would blame others and most kids i work with blame themselves, and with younger kids, they would blame others on the outside and blame themselves inside. I would like to have different perspectives or any resources of why that is and how to help these clients.
I am a school social worker and have found walking in the woods to be very beneficial with middle school age students. I also often take my two year old golden retriever with us. They love to pet and talk with the dog in the room. It helps them calm down and allows for greater introspection and less defensive
behaviors.
I work with families, systems, and individuals. I generally use a validating systems approach that acknowledges the feeling and thought that “the other” is to blame, but that as part of a system, each participant carries some blame/responsibility for change. The next step is going from that cognitive awareness to a behavior-changing emotional awareness of self-responsibility. For that, I appreciate the neuro-bio approaches offered in this webinar and look forward to trying them, as well as to hearing more on this topic.
Thank you for this presentation!
Interesting, although a huge majority of my clients tend to exclusively blame themselves & seem to lack a sense of self-efficacy. I tend to view the dynamic in terms of powerlessness & then work on empowerment. Is this the other side of the same issue? Is this a lack of “healthy narcissism”?
Great holistic overview of why people blame others for their problems. I am looking forward to learning more in depth about how to best help my clients break the cycle of blame, hurt, blame.
This has been incredibly helpful. I have several clients that blame others for their problems. They tend to have deep-seated trauma in their respective histories. Often times, it is difficult to connect because they confuse your validation of their feelings with taking their side. I find that along with validation, I must also place tight structure around them. They are encouraged to follow the rules without exception, regardless of what others are doing.
Fantastic overview of the concepts with very simple and doable interventions to start to use useful and with your clients-the idea of finding other perspectives that are more useful toward healing.
Delivered at a pace that allows understanding of concepts and ability to consider usefulness in practice.
Certainly left me wanting more and looking forward to the next webinar.
Free information of this high quality and usefulness is so rare. Thank You!
I work with teenagers and many of them have emotions that stem from blaming others and jealousy. I have used several techniques to help them understand how to express emotions in a more productive manner and accept their role in the conflict with family members and other friends.
Thank you for sharing. I, also, liked the neurological explanation because I find amazing how science can bring out some answers that are mesmerizing. I have not been very good in science from the beginning, but I have a degree in psychology. This is something I also think is my great milestone. In a way, this is, for me, to validate the work that scientists and professionals are doing in their everyday life. One time, I had a therapist who asked me to go for a walk outside and take him up on it, but, seriously, I thought he was joking! So we sat indoor.
Great info, so well presented, and I appreciate the additional comments/suggestions by others as well. Thank you, Ruth!
Helpful as I work in the K-12 school system. A large portion of parents with struggling children want to find someone else to blame. Talking to them of the difference between responsibility and blame may help them feel comfortable taking responsibility for fixing something about their child they know they did not cause.
Thank you so much. I have lot of such clients. I look forward for your webinar.
Very informative and interesting as well as helpful. This is a personal family problem I feel a need to address. I missed the free webinar,I wasn’t available, but this introduction was helpful. Thanks so much. Janet Cordes
Very interesting work and useful for educators to understand as they deal with children and adults who sometimes struggle.
Good content… live role modeling examples help me integrate the concept .. Is that why perhaps why the Dr Phil show inspires some people?
Looking forward to more training!
The Program was very helpful as both a reminder and with picking up some new tactics.
I work with a lot of clients who have anger problems . initially they are looking for validation to blame others .
recognizing the 2 approaches of narrative vs becoming aware of sensations and inner feelings is a helpful way to direct the session.
THank you. That was all helpful. The only part I don’t use with clients is the role of the brain (i.e. the default mode). It seems it gets them too much in their heads thinking about and trying to make sense vs. experiencing. The rest of it is very applicable to some of my clients and I appreciate the free viewing.
Many thanks, I found your comments very helpful and look forward to the webinar.
Ask lots of (gentle) questions that require clients to list some of the steps THEY took to improve the situation.
Very helpful beginning.
Thank you. I liked the neurological explanation. I tend to follow a very similar process and found this incredibly validating. I often ask clients if they want to go for a walk outside but unfortunately no one takes me up on it. This gives me a few ideas for a mindfulness group we are developing and provides evidence for what we were discussing regarding bringing in more experiential practice.
Might ask them what they believe their part in the situation is or was.Might offer some self reflection journaling homework. Would look for some childhood hx of emotional neglect.
Paced breathing helps (for myself, not for the client 🙂 ). Seriously though, validation is definitely key. Then I might ask the client to float back in time to a situation where they felt accepted and loved… if possible… to help the client get out of “the world is out to get me” mindset. It’s a mindful exercise that focuses on feelings and provides some sense of hope. It does not always work, as some are just too determined to be unable to recall anything positive. Yet when it does, it creates a shift of focus from the other person to the client’s awareness of their emotion and need for a change. It turns them toward what they are seeking and away from their anger or pain. Following that, mindfulness techniques and meditation would hopefully be brought in when the client was on board.
One strategy I find useful (for myself, and sometimes on others) is trying to put oneself in the other’s shoes, and see where they are coming from, asking why did they do the things they do, that angered or upset me?
I suppose that is like directing the brain to be more aware of the context, seeing the overall picture and less of the solo self?
I tell my clients, who blame others, this statement.
“I am very sorry that someone hurt you so badly but the greatest injustice of all is that you are still allowing them to hurt you.”
I have been using DBT skills of Mindfulness, Diary Cards, and Behavior Chains to help a particular client stuck in blaming her alcoholic husband to increase her self awareness of how her own feelings of shame contribute to problem behaviors of angry yelling, blaming, and even homicidal ideation toward husband resulting in more shame and ineffective coping with increased use of anxiety medications. I am attempting to help client increase awareness and connection to her body sensations through self soothe with 5 senses and will begin to teach client emotional regulation skills to increase emotional awareness.
Thank you. Very helpful.
Thank you, very informative. Looking forward to more details on the webinar
Avoid them
I realized most adults i work with would blame others and most kids i work with blame themselves, and with younger kids, they would blame others on the outside and blame themselves inside. I would like to have different perspectives or any resources of why that is and how to help these clients.
I am a school social worker and have found walking in the woods to be very beneficial with middle school age students. I also often take my two year old golden retriever with us. They love to pet and talk with the dog in the room. It helps them calm down and allows for greater introspection and less defensive
behaviors.
I work with families, systems, and individuals. I generally use a validating systems approach that acknowledges the feeling and thought that “the other” is to blame, but that as part of a system, each participant carries some blame/responsibility for change. The next step is going from that cognitive awareness to a behavior-changing emotional awareness of self-responsibility. For that, I appreciate the neuro-bio approaches offered in this webinar and look forward to trying them, as well as to hearing more on this topic.
Thank you for this presentation!
Interesting, although a huge majority of my clients tend to exclusively blame themselves & seem to lack a sense of self-efficacy. I tend to view the dynamic in terms of powerlessness & then work on empowerment. Is this the other side of the same issue? Is this a lack of “healthy narcissism”?
This is an excellent question. I’m interested in the answer as well!
Good question
The professional video production really help reinforce your points and keep my attention. Well done, that was unexpectedly informative.
Good stuff, I enjoyed it! Thanks 🙏
Great holistic overview of why people blame others for their problems. I am looking forward to learning more in depth about how to best help my clients break the cycle of blame, hurt, blame.
Thank you
I work in an elementary school with children who often see others as the reason they got into trouble.
This has been incredibly helpful. I have several clients that blame others for their problems. They tend to have deep-seated trauma in their respective histories. Often times, it is difficult to connect because they confuse your validation of their feelings with taking their side. I find that along with validation, I must also place tight structure around them. They are encouraged to follow the rules without exception, regardless of what others are doing.
Fantastic overview of the concepts with very simple and doable interventions to start to use useful and with your clients-the idea of finding other perspectives that are more useful toward healing.
Delivered at a pace that allows understanding of concepts and ability to consider usefulness in practice.
Certainly left me wanting more and looking forward to the next webinar.
Free information of this high quality and usefulness is so rare. Thank You!
I work with teenagers and many of them have emotions that stem from blaming others and jealousy. I have used several techniques to help them understand how to express emotions in a more productive manner and accept their role in the conflict with family members and other friends.
Very useful presentation thank you. I will be taking this wisdom into my next session and am looking forward to the next installment.
Im looking forward to the next one! Very insightful
I would appreciate any information you can send me to help my clients.
I would love to get all your information but I live in South Africa and the dollar/rand exchange is enormous.
Thanks, this is so helpful.