Many of my patients feel alienated from community. I try to assist them to find ways of being part of groups and doing helpful work with members of their communities. I do the same for myself including staying in practice at 73.
Toni Creamer Theodore, Another Field, Gainesville, FL, USAsays
Quiet sitting, eyes closed I feel the presence of ones who have passed. They are in my heart, closer even than we were in life. I can just listen. We can no longer embrace in form, but we can in spirit.
Gretchen Grantman, Another Field, Peekskill, NY, USAsays
The Timeless Loving has always been here in the moment, in eternity. It is my awareness of The Presence, in past and present that brings me to acceptance and surrender. To live with the grief of loss – life is about loss and renewal. This is the constancy and accompanied by The Presence. Love life now.
Listening to a guided meditation with beautiful music, or positive affirmations.
Observing closely and slowly the beauty of nature.
Being with my favourite girlfriends.
Prayer.
A friend who was so kind and spacious with me was such an anchor. Now she’s passed I’m learning even more to hold and cultivate that energy for myself.
Amy Zicafoose, Psychotherapy, Jackson , MI, USAsays
I have a deep connection with God (or Spirit, Universal Love, 5he names are interchangeable to me). Prayer, walki g meditation in nature, listening to music, seeing a film or play that touches the humanity in us all helps me to feel connected to all if life and it’s continuity. Whenever i reach out to what connects all living things, plants, animals, humans are included as animals, I know that my losses are shared with every living thing and it helps me feel less overwhelmed and a deep sense that I am never alone.
Some recent losses of very dear friends has left me feeling like a dried up sponge. Sponges that need to be rehydrated in someway by something in order to be fully alive and present. This practices helped me start to tap into that hydration in ways that I’m not even really sure I understand but are very meaningful and helpful. Thank you.
Kathy Hickman, Another Field, Attleboro , MA, USAsays
Allowing myself to believe that I am deeply loved and yearned for by a great and loving God whose presence I see in those who comfort and support me through their acts of kindness and love
Elizabeth Christensen, Another Field, Berkeley , CA, USAsays
Remembering my mom, even though it hurts that she was killed over 20 years ago now. I try and remember her face and the sound of her voice. I try to take the bad out of the equation and put the pain on hold and try and remember how much she loved me. so I’d like to get to doing visualization with her and not shy away from things that are painful. I’m going to try not to shut down and I hope to model that for the people in my life.
Feeling my heart expand into the divine consciousness that is everything – if I can do this and really feel my heart – I feel so held and loved and safe.
Susan Rao, Another Field, Rancho Santa margarita , CA, USAsays
Walking my dogs in nature parks; swimming laps and reciting different mantras as I swim each lap ; painting. Having said all that wonderful stuff, the reality is I often feel the pain.
These teachings helped me reconnect to an inner knowing that we all carry the light of the universe within; we are all connected. Grief surfaces, bringing the illusion that we are separate. When this illusion falls away, this inner knowing is of great comfort. To deeply feel this connection I return to nature, especially the trees. Nature holds me in a tangible way.
Quiet
Talking with my therapist
Meditating
Self compassion
Dharma talks and teachings
Being with animals
Calling suicide prevention; they are very supportive in general; you don’t need to be suicidal to speak with them.
Talking with friends.
I am currently dealing with Stage 4 incurable lung cancer. Many changes are happening, perhaps due to the cancer and also the aging process. I have a hard time walking now as I get winded very easily and need to rest every 20 or 50 feet. I’m also losing my equilibrium responses especially the backward ones ad well as my coordination. I am very sad and cry more often and I am feeling fear as well. Your meditation brought me to 3 women I knew and love who have transitioned. I turn to them often in prayer and meditation and asked for their strength and love to hold me. I often walk with my dog to a nearby creek which at times is rushing forward. I love the sound of it and am reminded we are always moving forward sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. This reminds me of the natural flow of life. During meditation just now, the women returned as did the flow of the creek and I am reassured that I am doing nothing wrong. I feel a sense of relief that there is space within me to be with it all. I am experiencing severe back pain from spinal orthopedic problems. This is so challenging to accept. I hope with dedication, commitment and practice I can live with this ongoing pain. Thank you for opening my heart with your words, your story and your meditation 🙏🏽
I have felt held by the loving friendships I have developed over the course of my long life. They’re not all present to me at all times, but I have been blessed by the presence of a caring friend when I have needed it most. I haven’t been willing to be present for all of them at all times, but I have gradually been able to really listen to many of them and share their lives and their hard times too.
Tara, I love your work. You have helped me immensely & I also practice Mindfulness Meditation daily & I am a Mindfulness Coach & will be taking MMCTTP. My sister Dee passed away Dec 2021 because of Covid. We were very close. I miss her every day. I also lost my Father when I was 27 to Leukemia & my Mother passed away from a heart attack at 78 due to Smoking. I also lost my favorite Aunt. We talked every day. It’s really hard to lose so many people you love. I loved them all. I wish my sister was still here & I talk to her sometimes when I’m a lone. She was a real sweetheart, & a very loving kind person. I really don’t know if I ever really grieved her passing enough. There are so many feelings because of what happened!
Thank you for this opportunity!
Namaste’
Sonja
Tara, I love your work. You have helped me immensely & I also practice Mindfulness Meditation daily & I am a Mindfulness Coach & will be taking MMCTTP. My sister Dee passed away Dec 2021 because of Covid. We were very close. I miss her every day. I also lost my Father when I was 27 to Leukemia & my Mother passed away from a heart attack at 78 due to Smoking. I also lost my favorite Aunt. We talked every day. It’s really hard to lose so many people you love. I loved them all. I wish my sister was still here & I talk to her sometimes when I’m a lone. She was a real sweetheart, & a very loving kind person. I really don’t know if I ever really grieved her passing enough. There are so many feelings because of what happened!
Thank you for this opportunity!
Namaste’
Sonja
Sallie Anderson, Psychotherapy, Garnet Valley, PA, USAsays
Thank you for this practice ; I miss my mother who died 18 years ago every day. I find comfort in the natural world; the whisper of the wind, the songbirds , the wisdom and majestic wisdom of the trees.
Last year my mom passed. I am estranged from my brother and sister. I was shocked at how little spirituality I had in my life. I went into overdrive. I started going to church, and joined a Sangha in the plum village tradition. I see my psychologist twice a week, faithfully. I go to an Al-Anon group weekly and also a coda, codependents anonymous, group weekly. I volunteer once a week for food service at a shelter for the unhoused. I take care of a disabled man 6 hours a week, and I ride my horse three times a week. I listen to endless near death experiences. I also participate in the weekly meditation Choosing Love with Tara Brach on Sundays. I talk with friends as much as possible. Sometimes it’s enough, I feel caring for her, thought about, and held. other times absolutely nothing helps. I’m suffering through PTSD, complex ptsd. Also depression, anxiety and panic when I remember that she’s gone and never coming back. I listen keenly to the teachings of Jesus. Taras teachings have also been a Godsend.
Thank you Tara for your beautiful, loving, compassionate reminder that we are always being held in tender embrace by a loving presence much larger than our individual selves, and how this experience of being held is always present even in moments when we are grieving and fearful and feel very much alone. I am reminded of the wise reflection of St. Augustine who observed that “God is closer to me than I am to myself”. How deeply comforting and deeply, profoundly true.
Walking in nature is huge for me. I talk to and admire the trees. Also talk to the animals as I walk in loving attention to all I’m seeing, hearing, sensing, smelling, tasting. (I can even vent and complain to it all and it doesn’t hurt anyone.) Gratitude for so many things I used to take for granted.
Thank you so much for continuing to help others. Especially when you went through something recently and you needed to take some time off to take care of yourself. You had to take care of yourself before taking care of others. Which as a caregiver that is hard to do. But I’m sure we all thank you for sharing your insights of your journey with us to help our journey.
i thought of grandparents, parents, ideas of Jesus from childhood.. the feeling in my solar plexus I remember from youth, calm and comforting while drawing closer to my heart
Daily gratitude for my own life, freedom and health gets me through my depression and aloneness and loss of my dear friend who recently passed. Knowing I am not alone.
I just lost my beloved Samuel who I also call my Star brother; I am his Star sister. I feel the belonging through others who have loved him as deeply as I have. 42 years! Belonging is an important concept to me.
Thank you Tara…I do feel God’s presence and my husband’s love for 52 years.i know God’s divine presence is healing me and I am not alone..altho physically I would love his hug again.i k ow we are all connected in one big ball of love
..may it be so.
I would appreciate your handout too.
blessings
Gayle
In meditation i have experienced a vast space at times that allows my feelings and thoughts to be and pass through. Sanghafriends have helped me see my own self- criticism- I experience their love and caring. Memories of my mother’s loving strength help me also
Susan Rosenau, Counseling, Wilsonville,, OR, USAsays
My sister died suddenly 4 years ago! It has been difficult for me to grieve her death. What has helped is connecting with others who loved her. Yesterday I went to her husbands 80th birthday and was surrounded by her love and spirit that lives on with her family.
Norman Montalto, Osteopathic Physician, Charleston, WV, USAsays
Depends on what I find useful truly.
Our independent suffering alone approach isolates us and betrays our friendship with others or spiritual by not incorporating them in our healing.Isolation unless it finds peace is not the best way to heal.
When asked what held me…I had no answer. I am/was where you were, Tara, and was also so incredibly active/full of life. It’s a lonely, deep grief, and suffering other losses (not just through death) continues to remind me of the sadness. It learned about equine therapy– being around horses and having a horse sync up with my heart from 4 feet away is beyond words. Syncing my deep breaths with a horse’s, is such an emotionally meditative experience. Thanks for reminded me that even in grief, gratitude and being open to the possibilities is what holds me, now.
Well, when asked what has held me in hard times, I was at a loss to answer! I think I endure, or rebound in time, but couldn’t think of anything. That caused me sadness, that thought.
I’m going through a hugely grief strewn time with the breakdown of my 25 year old marriage wrought by my husband’s alcoholism and verbal abuse.
Your third piece has so resonated with me and I see how my close and loving circle of friends has been my spiritual sanctuary.
Thank you Tara for your own loving and generous understanding and ability to transmit that to such a wide and “remote” audience, except of course we’re not remote at all are we?
I feel such a sense of loss over my health this past year, and the loss of my partner. I want desperately to feel held by and belong to a sense of a higher power instead of feeling so fearful and alone. I experience so much anxiety…I feel so unprepared to navigate this.
With this mediatation/visualization, I was able to exhale and my shoulders relaxed. I’m doing all 4 parts of this program today and am feeling a fundamental shift of moving through recent loss/grief over a work issue including feeling some betrayal and/or lack of awareness by fellow social workers and mental health clinicians in our shared work to try to improve our mental health system to better serve our families and ourselves.
Maryann King, Dietetics, Downingtown, PA, USA says
Thank you, Tara for sharing your story with us today. You are so inspiring. I love doing the 40 day meditation with you and Jack.
It’s a game changer. I appreciate you!
Sincerely,
Maryann King
Robin Rivinus, Medicine, Ashfield, MA, USA says
Many of my patients feel alienated from community. I try to assist them to find ways of being part of groups and doing helpful work with members of their communities. I do the same for myself including staying in practice at 73.
Donna Hildebrand, Other, Philadelphia, PA, USA says
The wisdom of Frank Ostaseski.
Toni Creamer Theodore, Another Field, Gainesville, FL, USA says
Quiet sitting, eyes closed I feel the presence of ones who have passed. They are in my heart, closer even than we were in life. I can just listen. We can no longer embrace in form, but we can in spirit.
Gretchen Grantman, Another Field, Peekskill, NY, USA says
The Timeless Loving has always been here in the moment, in eternity. It is my awareness of The Presence, in past and present that brings me to acceptance and surrender. To live with the grief of loss – life is about loss and renewal. This is the constancy and accompanied by The Presence. Love life now.
Prue Keenan, Counseling, Tucson, AZ, USA says
Listening to a guided meditation with beautiful music, or positive affirmations.
Observing closely and slowly the beauty of nature.
Being with my favourite girlfriends.
Prayer.
Erin Flynn, Another Field, Seattle, WA, USA says
Searching a way to integrate my grief with the daily life tasks that demand my attention. Both are overwhelming. Both need my presence.
Prefer Anonymity, Psychotherapy, 80301, CO, USA says
A friend who was so kind and spacious with me was such an anchor. Now she’s passed I’m learning even more to hold and cultivate that energy for myself.
Amy Zicafoose, Psychotherapy, Jackson , MI, USA says
I have a deep connection with God (or Spirit, Universal Love, 5he names are interchangeable to me). Prayer, walki g meditation in nature, listening to music, seeing a film or play that touches the humanity in us all helps me to feel connected to all if life and it’s continuity. Whenever i reach out to what connects all living things, plants, animals, humans are included as animals, I know that my losses are shared with every living thing and it helps me feel less overwhelmed and a deep sense that I am never alone.
Frank Schwartz, Other, West Suffield, CT, USA says
Some recent losses of very dear friends has left me feeling like a dried up sponge. Sponges that need to be rehydrated in someway by something in order to be fully alive and present. This practices helped me start to tap into that hydration in ways that I’m not even really sure I understand but are very meaningful and helpful. Thank you.
Kathy Hickman, Another Field, Attleboro , MA, USA says
Allowing myself to believe that I am deeply loved and yearned for by a great and loving God whose presence I see in those who comfort and support me through their acts of kindness and love
Evelyn Bergmann, Counseling, St Paul, MN, USA says
sitting in sacred space hoping for a devine connection
Elizabeth Christensen, Another Field, Berkeley , CA, USA says
Remembering my mom, even though it hurts that she was killed over 20 years ago now. I try and remember her face and the sound of her voice. I try to take the bad out of the equation and put the pain on hold and try and remember how much she loved me. so I’d like to get to doing visualization with her and not shy away from things that are painful. I’m going to try not to shut down and I hope to model that for the people in my life.
Sarah Brown, Another Field, Kittery, ME, USA says
There are plenty of things that take me away from my grief, if only briefly and I do need to focus more on following them.
Maxine Albert, Other, New York, NY, USA says
Feeling my heart expand into the divine consciousness that is everything – if I can do this and really feel my heart – I feel so held and loved and safe.
JULIE GLYNN, Teacher, Northridge, CA, USA says
Forest bathing with a group of people and a guide
Susan Rao, Another Field, Rancho Santa margarita , CA, USA says
Walking my dogs in nature parks; swimming laps and reciting different mantras as I swim each lap ; painting. Having said all that wonderful stuff, the reality is I often feel the pain.
Rosanne Cassidy, Another Field, Babylon, NY, USA says
Look forward to learning and practicing
Sheila M, Stress Management, Jackson, NJ, USA says
These teachings helped me reconnect to an inner knowing that we all carry the light of the universe within; we are all connected. Grief surfaces, bringing the illusion that we are separate. When this illusion falls away, this inner knowing is of great comfort. To deeply feel this connection I return to nature, especially the trees. Nature holds me in a tangible way.
Meredith Cleaves, Teacher, Novato, CA, USA says
Quiet
Talking with my therapist
Meditating
Self compassion
Dharma talks and teachings
Being with animals
Calling suicide prevention; they are very supportive in general; you don’t need to be suicidal to speak with them.
Talking with friends.
Melody Anderson, Counseling, Los Angeles, CA, USA says
I found my connections to nature is what allows me the space to connect to the sacred and honor my feelings
Meredith Cleaves, Teacher, Novato, CA, USA says
It is safe to let go of a lot. As Jack says, ” You can’t fall out of the web.” At first I didn’t believe it; now I`’m beginning to rely on it.
Kathy Krohn, Counseling, Clearwater, Fl, FL, USA says
Feeling abandoned, out of ideas about how to walk the path of grief
Jessica T, Teacher, Chapel Hill, NC, USA says
My dog.
Diane Boehm, Physical Therapy, Bearsville, NY, USA says
I am currently dealing with Stage 4 incurable lung cancer. Many changes are happening, perhaps due to the cancer and also the aging process. I have a hard time walking now as I get winded very easily and need to rest every 20 or 50 feet. I’m also losing my equilibrium responses especially the backward ones ad well as my coordination. I am very sad and cry more often and I am feeling fear as well. Your meditation brought me to 3 women I knew and love who have transitioned. I turn to them often in prayer and meditation and asked for their strength and love to hold me. I often walk with my dog to a nearby creek which at times is rushing forward. I love the sound of it and am reminded we are always moving forward sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. This reminds me of the natural flow of life. During meditation just now, the women returned as did the flow of the creek and I am reassured that I am doing nothing wrong. I feel a sense of relief that there is space within me to be with it all. I am experiencing severe back pain from spinal orthopedic problems. This is so challenging to accept. I hope with dedication, commitment and practice I can live with this ongoing pain. Thank you for opening my heart with your words, your story and your meditation 🙏🏽
Mary B, Another Field, New York, NY, USA says
I have felt held by the loving friendships I have developed over the course of my long life. They’re not all present to me at all times, but I have been blessed by the presence of a caring friend when I have needed it most. I haven’t been willing to be present for all of them at all times, but I have gradually been able to really listen to many of them and share their lives and their hard times too.
Sonja, Coach, Vista, CA, USA says
Tara, I love your work. You have helped me immensely & I also practice Mindfulness Meditation daily & I am a Mindfulness Coach & will be taking MMCTTP. My sister Dee passed away Dec 2021 because of Covid. We were very close. I miss her every day. I also lost my Father when I was 27 to Leukemia & my Mother passed away from a heart attack at 78 due to Smoking. I also lost my favorite Aunt. We talked every day. It’s really hard to lose so many people you love. I loved them all. I wish my sister was still here & I talk to her sometimes when I’m a lone. She was a real sweetheart, & a very loving kind person. I really don’t know if I ever really grieved her passing enough. There are so many feelings because of what happened!
Thank you for this opportunity!
Namaste’
Sonja
Sonja, Coach, Vista, CA, USA says
Tara, I love your work. You have helped me immensely & I also practice Mindfulness Meditation daily & I am a Mindfulness Coach & will be taking MMCTTP. My sister Dee passed away Dec 2021 because of Covid. We were very close. I miss her every day. I also lost my Father when I was 27 to Leukemia & my Mother passed away from a heart attack at 78 due to Smoking. I also lost my favorite Aunt. We talked every day. It’s really hard to lose so many people you love. I loved them all. I wish my sister was still here & I talk to her sometimes when I’m a lone. She was a real sweetheart, & a very loving kind person. I really don’t know if I ever really grieved her passing enough. There are so many feelings because of what happened!
Thank you for this opportunity!
Namaste’
Sonja
Sallie Anderson, Psychotherapy, Garnet Valley, PA, USA says
Thank you for this practice ; I miss my mother who died 18 years ago every day. I find comfort in the natural world; the whisper of the wind, the songbirds , the wisdom and majestic wisdom of the trees.
Marcy Wachter, Nursing, Dover, PA, USA says
Last year my mom passed. I am estranged from my brother and sister. I was shocked at how little spirituality I had in my life. I went into overdrive. I started going to church, and joined a Sangha in the plum village tradition. I see my psychologist twice a week, faithfully. I go to an Al-Anon group weekly and also a coda, codependents anonymous, group weekly. I volunteer once a week for food service at a shelter for the unhoused. I take care of a disabled man 6 hours a week, and I ride my horse three times a week. I listen to endless near death experiences. I also participate in the weekly meditation Choosing Love with Tara Brach on Sundays. I talk with friends as much as possible. Sometimes it’s enough, I feel caring for her, thought about, and held. other times absolutely nothing helps. I’m suffering through PTSD, complex ptsd. Also depression, anxiety and panic when I remember that she’s gone and never coming back. I listen keenly to the teachings of Jesus. Taras teachings have also been a Godsend.
Neal Aponte, Psychology, New York, NY, USA says
Thank you Tara for your beautiful, loving, compassionate reminder that we are always being held in tender embrace by a loving presence much larger than our individual selves, and how this experience of being held is always present even in moments when we are grieving and fearful and feel very much alone. I am reminded of the wise reflection of St. Augustine who observed that “God is closer to me than I am to myself”. How deeply comforting and deeply, profoundly true.
Neal Aponte, Ph.D. NY, NY.
Judy Reed, Nursing, Boise, ID, USA says
Walking in nature is huge for me. I talk to and admire the trees. Also talk to the animals as I walk in loving attention to all I’m seeing, hearing, sensing, smelling, tasting. (I can even vent and complain to it all and it doesn’t hurt anyone.) Gratitude for so many things I used to take for granted.
Beth Nutter, Other, Elgin , IL, USA says
Thank you so much for continuing to help others. Especially when you went through something recently and you needed to take some time off to take care of yourself. You had to take care of yourself before taking care of others. Which as a caregiver that is hard to do. But I’m sure we all thank you for sharing your insights of your journey with us to help our journey.
Anna Nelson, Other, GRESHAM, OR, USA says
i thought of grandparents, parents, ideas of Jesus from childhood.. the feeling in my solar plexus I remember from youth, calm and comforting while drawing closer to my heart
C Levy, Other, Joshua Tree, CA, USA says
Daily gratitude for my own life, freedom and health gets me through my depression and aloneness and loss of my dear friend who recently passed. Knowing I am not alone.
Taj Guzzardo, Nutrition, Rockford , IL, USA says
I just lost my beloved Samuel who I also call my Star brother; I am his Star sister. I feel the belonging through others who have loved him as deeply as I have. 42 years! Belonging is an important concept to me.
Theresa Dulcich, Other, Long Beach, CA, USA says
Listening and sharing with others who have suffered the same kind of loss.
Laura Montville, Coach, Portsmouth, NH, USA says
I can’t seem to find any relief from the sense of loss.
Gayle Jones, Other, Oklahoma City, OK, USA says
Thank you Tara…I do feel God’s presence and my husband’s love for 52 years.i know God’s divine presence is healing me and I am not alone..altho physically I would love his hug again.i k ow we are all connected in one big ball of love
..may it be so.
I would appreciate your handout too.
blessings
Gayle
Kitty Blu, Counseling, Bow, WA, USA says
In meditation i have experienced a vast space at times that allows my feelings and thoughts to be and pass through. Sanghafriends have helped me see my own self- criticism- I experience their love and caring. Memories of my mother’s loving strength help me also
Susan Rosenau, Counseling, Wilsonville,, OR, USA says
My sister died suddenly 4 years ago! It has been difficult for me to grieve her death. What has helped is connecting with others who loved her. Yesterday I went to her husbands 80th birthday and was surrounded by her love and spirit that lives on with her family.
Richard Bjorkman, Nutrition, Sebastian , FL, USA says
very well done.
Yes.please hold me Yahwe.
Avon Burton, Student, Fort Worth, TX, USA says
I am not alone, even when I feel alone.
Norman Montalto, Osteopathic Physician, Charleston, WV, USA says
Depends on what I find useful truly.
Our independent suffering alone approach isolates us and betrays our friendship with others or spiritual by not incorporating them in our healing.Isolation unless it finds peace is not the best way to heal.
Kay Jay, Another Field, Palo Alto, CA, USA says
A few things help me: spending time with family. Sharing meals and every day experiences, laughs, cries, thoughts, arguments, disagreements.
S S, Another Field, Boston, MA, USA says
When asked what held me…I had no answer. I am/was where you were, Tara, and was also so incredibly active/full of life. It’s a lonely, deep grief, and suffering other losses (not just through death) continues to remind me of the sadness. It learned about equine therapy– being around horses and having a horse sync up with my heart from 4 feet away is beyond words. Syncing my deep breaths with a horse’s, is such an emotionally meditative experience. Thanks for reminded me that even in grief, gratitude and being open to the possibilities is what holds me, now.
Deb says
Well, when asked what has held me in hard times, I was at a loss to answer! I think I endure, or rebound in time, but couldn’t think of anything. That caused me sadness, that thought.
Rosie Mathisen says
I’m going through a hugely grief strewn time with the breakdown of my 25 year old marriage wrought by my husband’s alcoholism and verbal abuse.
Your third piece has so resonated with me and I see how my close and loving circle of friends has been my spiritual sanctuary.
Thank you Tara for your own loving and generous understanding and ability to transmit that to such a wide and “remote” audience, except of course we’re not remote at all are we?
Susan says
I feel such a sense of loss over my health this past year, and the loss of my partner. I want desperately to feel held by and belong to a sense of a higher power instead of feeling so fearful and alone. I experience so much anxiety…I feel so unprepared to navigate this.
Carrie says
With this mediatation/visualization, I was able to exhale and my shoulders relaxed. I’m doing all 4 parts of this program today and am feeling a fundamental shift of moving through recent loss/grief over a work issue including feeling some betrayal and/or lack of awareness by fellow social workers and mental health clinicians in our shared work to try to improve our mental health system to better serve our families and ourselves.