After a betrayal, I am feeling very challenged by the U turn practice. I am trying to find compassion for the other, but resentment has built a wall that is hard to break through. I hope this series will help me to find more compassion for both of us.
This video reminds me of how effective your RAIN meditation is and how important it s for me to connect with my feelings of hurt when I am judging or shaming myself into being different from what is present. Also, I realize that all of me is welcome and allowed. Every aspect of my godself experiencing itself. Thank you!
Kirsten Kel, Marriage/Family Therapy, San Mateo, CA, USAsays
I really appreciate the practice of focusing on what am I experiencing and focusing on having compassion for whatever it is. What a great way to shift from other focused to self focused and around awareness and understanding.
Thank you
I’m going to try to see my family as animals in a trap who are suffering instead of feeling hurt and frustration at the lack of cooperation.
Not an easy task even with meditation and spiritual practice😌
It’s always amazing when I leave the story so deeply grooved and make the U turn. There is so much hurt instead of blame and then I feel the possibility of being free.
Thanks Tara. I have been on this journey for a while now.
Like others, self compassion to counter a deep sense of unworthiness has always been difficult for me even after years of therapy and having a thorough undrrstanding of how I came to believe and feel that based on adverse childhood experiences. Also, as I have gotten older (63 currently) I find it very difficult to extend compassion to people who seem to have no self-awareness or compassion for others themselves (which seems to be increasing in the world daily). What a confining box to live in, lol!
Lydia Mendoza, Social Work, Sacramento, CA, USAsays
Really reminded me to connect to my own experience. the exercise helped me in that moment create space for my experience, meet myself with kindness and compassion, which then allowed me to return to my heart and present moment awareness
Linda Arbus, Psychotherapy, maplewood, NJ, USAsays
Thank you so much Tara. I am in the process of caring for my partner of 40 years who is suffering from significant cognitive decline. At times, Im exhausted and frustrated with her and this particular section with the uturn practice deeply connected me with how sad I am and how much loss I feel. It also helped me to again connect with empathy and compassion for her and how hard it is for to nolonger be able to function as the vibrant, vital person she was.
Mary Jane Pagan, Stress Management, Providence , RI, USAsays
It’s perfect timing because I’ve been working with letting go of blame for hurtful actions by someone. It’s been a process of many years feeling safe enough to revisit this cruelty,
Now that I feel I can open to forgive, I have your gift to dive a little deeper into compassion for both of us. Thank you.
I have tried, for 11 years, to forgive someone who hurt me and my family…read books, prayed, talked with others…. and today, with the practice of making a u-turn, allowing that person to feel what I feel, I FEEL in my flesh and my heart, not just my head, that I CAN let go of my anger and hurt. I will move deeper into my turn of mind and heart because I cannot pick up my “guard” which I now realize has been a barbed-wire, chain fence.
The image of the dog with its leg in the trap immediately resonated with me as I consider a strained family relationship I’ve been working through. As I have been pushed back away from the situation, I have felt a longing to try to figure out, and fix, and pull in. But when I think about how I didn’t set or build the trap for them, I can see why my hovering around them makes them more resistant and avoidant. It helps to know that I didn’t cause the initial pain, and what else I can do with my longing for connection. I don’t know how I will ever talk about all this with them, but at least I can start with me.
The two steps are difficult to do, but they were enlightening. Mostly for me, it was difficult to allow myself to feel those feelings of hurt, fear or anger. Thank you for the opportunity to try these exercises.
sharon raymond, Teacher, shutesbury, MA, USA says
I suggest that listeners get information on Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-violent Communication, the practice provides a great supplement to this work.
Nix Morris, Teacher, Anchorage , AK, USA says
After a betrayal, I am feeling very challenged by the U turn practice. I am trying to find compassion for the other, but resentment has built a wall that is hard to break through. I hope this series will help me to find more compassion for both of us.
Dawn Glasco, Psychology, Cleveland, OH, USA says
This video reminds me of how effective your RAIN meditation is and how important it s for me to connect with my feelings of hurt when I am judging or shaming myself into being different from what is present. Also, I realize that all of me is welcome and allowed. Every aspect of my godself experiencing itself. Thank you!
Kirsten Kel, Marriage/Family Therapy, San Mateo, CA, USA says
I really appreciate the practice of focusing on what am I experiencing and focusing on having compassion for whatever it is. What a great way to shift from other focused to self focused and around awareness and understanding.
Thank you
Virginia Licari, Other, Smyrna, NY, USA says
I’m going to try to see my family as animals in a trap who are suffering instead of feeling hurt and frustration at the lack of cooperation.
Not an easy task even with meditation and spiritual practice😌
Rachel S, Teacher, Phoenix, AZ, USA says
I really appreciate this concrete guidance and practice, thank you Tara.
AJ Mooney, Teacher, Hampden, ME, USA says
It’s always amazing when I leave the story so deeply grooved and make the U turn. There is so much hurt instead of blame and then I feel the possibility of being free.
Thanks Tara. I have been on this journey for a while now.
maria mireault, Counseling, Swanton, VT, USA says
Thank you. Would like to know more.
Kevin Rogers, Other, San Diego, CA, USA says
Like others, self compassion to counter a deep sense of unworthiness has always been difficult for me even after years of therapy and having a thorough undrrstanding of how I came to believe and feel that based on adverse childhood experiences. Also, as I have gotten older (63 currently) I find it very difficult to extend compassion to people who seem to have no self-awareness or compassion for others themselves (which seems to be increasing in the world daily). What a confining box to live in, lol!
William Palmer, Teacher, Traverse City, MI, USA says
I like the u-turn idea and think I can use it. Thanks
Nancy Pientka, Other, Colorado springs, CO, USA says
Thank you for this program. It was very helpful. I like the idea about how does being so hard on ourselves help us change.
Lydia Mendoza, Social Work, Sacramento, CA, USA says
Really reminded me to connect to my own experience. the exercise helped me in that moment create space for my experience, meet myself with kindness and compassion, which then allowed me to return to my heart and present moment awareness
Karen Burgess, Nursing, Menands, NY, USA says
Self compassion has always been hard for me. Really need to practice.
Linda Arbus, Psychotherapy, maplewood, NJ, USA says
Thank you so much Tara. I am in the process of caring for my partner of 40 years who is suffering from significant cognitive decline. At times, Im exhausted and frustrated with her and this particular section with the uturn practice deeply connected me with how sad I am and how much loss I feel. It also helped me to again connect with empathy and compassion for her and how hard it is for to nolonger be able to function as the vibrant, vital person she was.
Mary Jane Pagan, Stress Management, Providence , RI, USA says
It’s perfect timing because I’ve been working with letting go of blame for hurtful actions by someone. It’s been a process of many years feeling safe enough to revisit this cruelty,
Now that I feel I can open to forgive, I have your gift to dive a little deeper into compassion for both of us. Thank you.
Linda Newton, LCSW, Psychotherapy, Bend, OR, USA says
Thank you for sharing. Very informative.
M A Hamilton, Other, Bethesda, MD, USA says
I have tried, for 11 years, to forgive someone who hurt me and my family…read books, prayed, talked with others…. and today, with the practice of making a u-turn, allowing that person to feel what I feel, I FEEL in my flesh and my heart, not just my head, that I CAN let go of my anger and hurt. I will move deeper into my turn of mind and heart because I cannot pick up my “guard” which I now realize has been a barbed-wire, chain fence.
Sarah S., Social Work, Moorhead, MN, USA says
The image of the dog with its leg in the trap immediately resonated with me as I consider a strained family relationship I’ve been working through. As I have been pushed back away from the situation, I have felt a longing to try to figure out, and fix, and pull in. But when I think about how I didn’t set or build the trap for them, I can see why my hovering around them makes them more resistant and avoidant. It helps to know that I didn’t cause the initial pain, and what else I can do with my longing for connection. I don’t know how I will ever talk about all this with them, but at least I can start with me.
Jill Davis, Other, Mt Pleasant, WI, USA says
The two steps are difficult to do, but they were enlightening. Mostly for me, it was difficult to allow myself to feel those feelings of hurt, fear or anger. Thank you for the opportunity to try these exercises.
Patricia Telles, Counseling, ALBUQUERQUE, NM, USA says
This is a healthy practice that depersonalizes what the other’s behaviors provokes.
Simone Miller, Other, New Brighton, PA, USA says
Love the analogy of being in a tramp to help feel empathy for ourselves and others.
Clare Julian Carbone, Social Work, Millcreek, UT, USA says
Beautiful, healing reflection. Thank you Tara!
Sharleen Leonard, Medicine, Milwaukee, WI, USA says
Thank you for increasing compassion and love in myself and the world.