I love it! When I think a out one of my difficult relation, and I forgive myself (to be rudec sometimes) I feel relase, andcl get more relaxed, phisically, too.
my 2 kids – i know I made a lot of mistakes when they were younger. Slowly I am seeing that I was doing my best at the time. We are doing so much better these days
a lovely presentation…. in my life and work I have found the difference between shame and guilt and attempting to transform shame into guilt has been useful as well as what happens in the body differently with them….
I’ve only recently started to forgive myself and not emotionally beat myself up for any bad acting I’ve done. And it’s so true, the forgiveness and understanding toward myself is what heals the behavior I regret. Thank you for reinforcing this truth. The self-loving steps of accepting thoughts and feelings and holding your hand over your heart you that offered in the previous video are wonderful tools.
Acknowledge where I need to self forgive as a mother and surrender feelings of guilt, will help me to guide my clients though their moments of self judgement, pain and hurt,
Thank you for your wise words, I will practice the 3 processes.
When pressed to pick an animal to describe myself I picked “sleeping cat”. Acknowleding that I am in pain will free up some enery (denial is exhausting) and might even bring me closer to selecting “loyal golden retriever” next time. Sending much love.
Thank you. All 3 videos were very helpful, strengthening what I know but forget and giving me steps to interrupt my downward cycles and to consciously treat myself with compassion. I also appreciate your final comments, relating these practices to the state of our society and to our connections to each other.
I’m studying with Thomas Hubl and your work is largely in line with his, as well as with my faith. Because of my deep engagement with him, I won’t be taking your course, but many blessings to you.
I am caught in becoming a rigid wall, unable to penetrate. I watched my father sit in his chair and turn into an unfeeling, not to be reached in any sense of feeling or breath conscientiousness. I turn into him. Unapproachable. How do I soften or allow the wall to crumble, to find the essence inside the brick and mortar? It is physically and mentally, painful.
There is a resistance at the moment for me with this, whilst in other times of life, this has been a lot easier for me to connect with. Reminding myself that there is not an end goal/ state that will be “completed”, but this is a continued, life-long practice and that sometimes my habitual ways of being with others, particularly family where the patterns are deeply trodden, is an act of compassion itself.
Thank you as always for your wisdom and love.
That fleeting sense of self forgiveness gave me the ability to feel like a whole, sovereign person, standing in my center. I felt capacity to be more compassionate in my view toward others, more able to respond with patience. But the really remarkable notice was that I could begin to respond that way to myself. This will support better relationships with my family, if I can continue to remember, and be mindful, even in the midst of life.
I actually felt resistance to fully forgiving myself;I do feel more compassionate for what I did.. as I had an image of someone who lost her inner guidance. I will sit with it a bit longer
Two close relatives in emails and phone conversations shamed me. Not enough that I said sorry, I was not aware by word & action I had though unintentionally caused you such anguish. I started to wonder do others see me as this bad person/a fraud.
This will help me help forgive myself for not knowing how to help my grandson. And, more importantly, to help my grandson to forgive himself for his violent outbursts by recognizing it isn’t his fault and finding some relief from his pain and feelings that he disappoints his father.
Thank you, Tara. This is a deeply powerful understanding of how self love and kindness can help one move into an awakened, self-nurturing way of being.
Namaste. 🙏🏻
I have a very big block with this. I do really appreciate this. As a practitioner, I have a significant hurdle of my own and haven’t been able to let it go and allow. Even this little exercise I struggled with. I do see the utility and benefit.
This seems to be an excellent adjunct to trauma work
Today, as always, my body is full of tension, especially in my neck and shoulders. When I watched and listened to this video, Tara, and brought to mind my relationship with my son and the way I felt I hurt him, my shoulders relaxed down, just a little. It was as if my shoulders were saying, “We don’t need to carry that burden. We can be at peace.” Thank you.
I reflected on a situation in which I have been judging myself. When I turn toward understanding my thoughts, feelings, and behavior as very understandable in that situation and that I am not “bad” for having them, I soften, and can give myself the unconditional love and acceptance that the “unworthy” or judged part of me needs. It has the feeling quality of “coming home.” Not at all unlike the parable of the prodigal son. I am forgiven. I am worthy. This attitude spills out and over everything and everyone else in my life.
Just now I realise more deeply how self- hatred and guilt make my relations to others more and more difficult; especially as I just retired and don’t feel any more the benefit of feeling accepted and being efficient at work. So I lost a bit of confidence.
Sometimes it’s lonely; I have more time to meditate but more time to make myself more and more reproachs , but also to others.
I also feel guilty not to be able to be more peacefull!
it’s surprising to me how much shame i still carry. i disappoint myself daily for being overwhelmed with my emotional turmoil and continue to be a non engaged parent. when i really internalize self forgiveness i feel overwhelming sadness.
I feel guilty about how I missed something in my son’s upbringing. He was an anxious child and now he is an anxious adult.
I feel w better parenting his issues could have been addressed and I missed an opportunity to teach him some coping skills
This is a nice concept of self-forgiveness and opened my eyes to how I might release this habit of reaction because of past triggers that I have forgotten the source of. It’s just automatic defensiveness/anger/fear because of feelings of attack…ridicule and critical scrutiny from my past. I look forward to this. However I am already on your email list. But I would like to do this.
When someone repeatedly lies, gaslights, & blames me, & l I try to hold myself with love & compassion & then them, yet it appears I’m just enabling the same behaviors & it becomes very dis-heartening. I keep forgiving myself & the pattern just continues.
If I a can genuinely forgive myself I think there will be peace in me, tendernesa, openness … then Ithink my experience will be different, so it will be my reaction.
I appreciate you giving us the opportunity to try these strategies ourselves so that we can better explain them to our clients. Working through my own forgiveness really helps me identify potential pitfalls that my clients may experience when they work on forgiving themselves.
Szabolcs Salánki says
I love it! When I think a out one of my difficult relation, and I forgive myself (to be rudec sometimes) I feel relase, andcl get more relaxed, phisically, too.
Shaynne Metelerkamp-Lang says
Thank you Tara,spot on & very useful for me.🙏✨️🙏
Silvia Serrano says
Thank you!
Anne Louise says
Thank you. I think I may be more at ease, less
Closed up.
Nick Brand says
As I forgive myself and have kindness to myself, I may be more able to forgive and have kindness for other
Rana Johnson says
Thank you for your info. I have trouble remaining self compassionate and forgiving. I rollercoaster between blame and forgiveness of other and myself.
Laura Levenson says
my 2 kids – i know I made a lot of mistakes when they were younger. Slowly I am seeing that I was doing my best at the time. We are doing so much better these days
maureen e says
a lovely presentation…. in my life and work I have found the difference between shame and guilt and attempting to transform shame into guilt has been useful as well as what happens in the body differently with them….
Gabrielle Wise says
I’ve only recently started to forgive myself and not emotionally beat myself up for any bad acting I’ve done. And it’s so true, the forgiveness and understanding toward myself is what heals the behavior I regret. Thank you for reinforcing this truth. The self-loving steps of accepting thoughts and feelings and holding your hand over your heart you that offered in the previous video are wonderful tools.
Lois M says
Acknowledge where I need to self forgive as a mother and surrender feelings of guilt, will help me to guide my clients though their moments of self judgement, pain and hurt,
Vicki C says
I can be more kind and patient with myself. Give myself a hug.
Gina G says
Thank you, I found this insightful.
Sara Short says
Thank you Tara. This is just what I need right now.
Sara
sue smith says
Thank you for your wise words, I will practice the 3 processes.
When pressed to pick an animal to describe myself I picked “sleeping cat”. Acknowleding that I am in pain will free up some enery (denial is exhausting) and might even bring me closer to selecting “loyal golden retriever” next time. Sending much love.
Fran García says
👍 thanks
Rose O'Mahony says
My anger is not my fault. This powerful truth as really resonated with me. Deep thanks Tara.
A K says
I didn’t think I needed to forgive myself for how I felt with a relationship but once I was asking the questions…I began to cry.
J Gil says
Such a gracious presence.
Marilyn Stranske says
Thank you. All 3 videos were very helpful, strengthening what I know but forget and giving me steps to interrupt my downward cycles and to consciously treat myself with compassion. I also appreciate your final comments, relating these practices to the state of our society and to our connections to each other.
I’m studying with Thomas Hubl and your work is largely in line with his, as well as with my faith. Because of my deep engagement with him, I won’t be taking your course, but many blessings to you.
April King says
This was a great reminder.
Barbara Valverde says
I am caught in becoming a rigid wall, unable to penetrate. I watched my father sit in his chair and turn into an unfeeling, not to be reached in any sense of feeling or breath conscientiousness. I turn into him. Unapproachable. How do I soften or allow the wall to crumble, to find the essence inside the brick and mortar? It is physically and mentally, painful.
Anne Montgomery says
compassionate and helpful thank you.
Emily Scott says
I appreciate the insight about how we relate to ourselves is often how we relate to others
Sophie Neal says
There is a resistance at the moment for me with this, whilst in other times of life, this has been a lot easier for me to connect with. Reminding myself that there is not an end goal/ state that will be “completed”, but this is a continued, life-long practice and that sometimes my habitual ways of being with others, particularly family where the patterns are deeply trodden, is an act of compassion itself.
Thank you as always for your wisdom and love.
M Singler says
That fleeting sense of self forgiveness gave me the ability to feel like a whole, sovereign person, standing in my center. I felt capacity to be more compassionate in my view toward others, more able to respond with patience. But the really remarkable notice was that I could begin to respond that way to myself. This will support better relationships with my family, if I can continue to remember, and be mindful, even in the midst of life.
T H says
I am curious enough to leave a comment.
Tanja de Langen says
I actually felt resistance to fully forgiving myself;I do feel more compassionate for what I did.. as I had an image of someone who lost her inner guidance. I will sit with it a bit longer
Lori B says
Self-acceptance can help me to re-engage from the isolation . It also gives me hope for making new friends.
Debra Bergman says
I really like the supportive/prescriptive nature of the exercise — both for myself and clients.
Thank you!
Antoinette Leb says
Two close relatives in emails and phone conversations shamed me. Not enough that I said sorry, I was not aware by word & action I had though unintentionally caused you such anguish. I started to wonder do others see me as this bad person/a fraud.
Debbie Carr says
it makes me less on edge
Sandra Wood says
This will help me help forgive myself for not knowing how to help my grandson. And, more importantly, to help my grandson to forgive himself for his violent outbursts by recognizing it isn’t his fault and finding some relief from his pain and feelings that he disappoints his father.
Maryanne Schmeiser says
Thank you, Tara. This is a deeply powerful understanding of how self love and kindness can help one move into an awakened, self-nurturing way of being.
Namaste. 🙏🏻
Todd Parry says
I have a very big block with this. I do really appreciate this. As a practitioner, I have a significant hurdle of my own and haven’t been able to let it go and allow. Even this little exercise I struggled with. I do see the utility and benefit.
This seems to be an excellent adjunct to trauma work
Mary Ann Barton says
Today, as always, my body is full of tension, especially in my neck and shoulders. When I watched and listened to this video, Tara, and brought to mind my relationship with my son and the way I felt I hurt him, my shoulders relaxed down, just a little. It was as if my shoulders were saying, “We don’t need to carry that burden. We can be at peace.” Thank you.
Rita Lynch says
I think it takes me out of my own head and I can look objectively at my situation of pain, guilt & shame.
Em Milne says
If I’m able to forgive myself for my failings as a parent, it opens the door to real change.
Bennett Rachal says
I reflected on a situation in which I have been judging myself. When I turn toward understanding my thoughts, feelings, and behavior as very understandable in that situation and that I am not “bad” for having them, I soften, and can give myself the unconditional love and acceptance that the “unworthy” or judged part of me needs. It has the feeling quality of “coming home.” Not at all unlike the parable of the prodigal son. I am forgiven. I am worthy. This attitude spills out and over everything and everyone else in my life.
Sylvie Couval says
Just now I realise more deeply how self- hatred and guilt make my relations to others more and more difficult; especially as I just retired and don’t feel any more the benefit of feeling accepted and being efficient at work. So I lost a bit of confidence.
Sometimes it’s lonely; I have more time to meditate but more time to make myself more and more reproachs , but also to others.
I also feel guilty not to be able to be more peacefull!
Anabel Cantoni Castro says
If I were able to hold my self in a kind light, my relationship would rest in love and freedom.
Shardaun Clark says
it’s surprising to me how much shame i still carry. i disappoint myself daily for being overwhelmed with my emotional turmoil and continue to be a non engaged parent. when i really internalize self forgiveness i feel overwhelming sadness.
Elisabeth Simpson says
Helpful, practical guide in working with self-criticism and self-compassion. Thank you.
Sylvia Worrell says
i feel by forgiving myself i can forgive her.
Rosemary Vigorita says
I feel guilty about how I missed something in my son’s upbringing. He was an anxious child and now he is an anxious adult.
I feel w better parenting his issues could have been addressed and I missed an opportunity to teach him some coping skills
Kathy Beckwith says
This is a nice concept of self-forgiveness and opened my eyes to how I might release this habit of reaction because of past triggers that I have forgotten the source of. It’s just automatic defensiveness/anger/fear because of feelings of attack…ridicule and critical scrutiny from my past. I look forward to this. However I am already on your email list. But I would like to do this.
Rita Grube says
When someone repeatedly lies, gaslights, & blames me, & l I try to hold myself with love & compassion & then them, yet it appears I’m just enabling the same behaviors & it becomes very dis-heartening. I keep forgiving myself & the pattern just continues.
Kate H says
There is an opening, space to move toward the other person.
Gabriela Tazón says
If I a can genuinely forgive myself I think there will be peace in me, tendernesa, openness … then Ithink my experience will be different, so it will be my reaction.
Maggie Westcott says
Genuine forgiveness can help heal within to allow clients. Self-compassion helps our relationships with ourselves and in turn with others.
Jennifer K says
I appreciate you giving us the opportunity to try these strategies ourselves so that we can better explain them to our clients. Working through my own forgiveness really helps me identify potential pitfalls that my clients may experience when they work on forgiving themselves.