It’s difficult to witness the sadness and pain when I turn toward loss. Strong feelings fill out the chest making it hard to breathe, they make my legs stiff. There is fear of not being able to hold all this. Yet as soon as I create a little crack or an opening, tears come out as a way of expressing hope that I’ll stay, witness, and love.
Carol van Doorn, Social Work, Frederick, MD, USAsays
I have found it most difficult for clients to be with or turn toward the loss of something that never was—the childhood love and care that they needed. This touches an especially deep place.
What hurts about turning towards loss is the pain of all the realities of the loss having occurred. The absence, the pain of the dying process with my sense of helplessness in not being able to prevent, relieve it, assure enough, the prospect of not knowing with certainty if there will be a “reunion” in the afterlife, not knowing if the lost one is ok…
What helps in all of this prayer that provides greater ease with mystery, the unknown.
Gabriela B, Other, Shelburne, VT, USA says
It’s difficult to witness the sadness and pain when I turn toward loss. Strong feelings fill out the chest making it hard to breathe, they make my legs stiff. There is fear of not being able to hold all this. Yet as soon as I create a little crack or an opening, tears come out as a way of expressing hope that I’ll stay, witness, and love.
Carol van Doorn, Social Work, Frederick, MD, USA says
I have found it most difficult for clients to be with or turn toward the loss of something that never was—the childhood love and care that they needed. This touches an especially deep place.
Arleen Patin, Counseling, Coral Gables, FL, USA says
What hurts about turning towards loss is the pain of all the realities of the loss having occurred. The absence, the pain of the dying process with my sense of helplessness in not being able to prevent, relieve it, assure enough, the prospect of not knowing with certainty if there will be a “reunion” in the afterlife, not knowing if the lost one is ok…
What helps in all of this prayer that provides greater ease with mystery, the unknown.
Eileen Cheplick, Nursing, SAN ANSELMO, CA, USA says
the opening of the heart allows me to let go especially to things that really I have no control over.
Amy Friday, Psychology, West Linn, OR, USA says
Loss brings up such strong physical feelings, it’s a challenge to stay with it. Mindfulness helps.
Deb Smith, Other, Belfast, ME, USA says
These talks have been deeply moving, so helpful.