Sharon Kochman, Another Field, Fair oaks, CA, USAsays
I found it easy to articulate what was in my head. I had no visual or words for my heart. Sadness I guess deep inside. Didn’t get to heart space this time of around.
I mentioned in my previous comment that I have an autoimmune disease and dealing with a lot of chronic health issues. For me, I felt a lot of sadness and fear come up. I am also a a Reiki Master practitioner so it felt very comforting to connect with my heart chakra by placing my hand over my heart. It felt soothing to tell myself I am safe in this moment and I am doing the best that I can right now.
It was just recently that I realized I was depressed because I felt I was not living up to my family’s expectations. That I was supposed to behave a certain way to earn their love. I let go of that. I understand I will never be the person they want me to be. I did not have to. I am worthy of love without an agenda. I learned that I can be kind and compassionate and set boundaries in a gentle way. They don’t always respond well to my boundaries but I don’t blame myself. It’s what I used to do. Be quiet and internalize it. I have let it go and it feels like an awakening.
I took in the whole video and realized that I am stuck at entering heartspace. I used to feel at home with it. I am going through some intense ptsd and am having difficulty with self-lovingkindness.
I’m grateful to be reminded that “then” was “then”, and that NOW is HERE.
Self-loathing and judgement was THEN! Self-compassion and loving HERE and NOW!
I still need to be reminded, though, of where I AM😁🙏!
Johanna Wechsler, Counseling, Cambridge, MA, USAsays
thank you ! wonderful to hear and practice this shift out of self judgement , procedure, faer anger depression fear , pTSD life and decades list in self shame and blame and isolation
to venturing into heart space and connecting w others finding community or a few heart centered loving friendships.
I first read the second arrow story in Peace is Every Step by Thic Nhat Hanh, but I always seem to forget it’s function in real time. this is a lovely and applicable reminder. In a family relationship, I have a strained situation I’ve felt bad for caring so much about when I can’t control much of it. but when I apply the removal of the second arrow, I can just hold my sad feeling and my longing for better connection. I still don’t know how to reset things, but maybe I’ll just sit with the sadness for a while.
This is an excellent presentation & example of movement from head to heart! My harsh critic showed up & I realized she is fear based and in ny mother’s voice which allowed me to form compassion & comfortably float on the ocean waves with her rather than hide & fear myself and her. Thank you
This is an excellent presentation & example of movement from head to heart! My harsh critic showed up & I realized she is fear based and in ny mother’s voice which allowed me to form compassion & comfortably float on the ocean waves with her rather than hide & fear myself and her. Thank you
I was the first person to judge and blame myself but the last person to hold compassion for, if ever. I’m learning to hold compassion for myself for all those experiences when I didn’t know how to be there for me. I hold compassion for that too.
this helped to remind me that I can experience turbulent emotions and embrace those and allow them to move through me and not beat myself up for having them in the first place.
It resonated so deeply. Thank you for expressing what has been going on for me. It soothes me and makes me feel less alone in the struggle of these changes. 🙏🏻
Judging myself for not having “fixed” myself by now – turning 60 in a few months. Then as I listened and brought gentleness to myself I realized (again) that this self judgemental has always been with me…learned early on to protect me. IT is not my fault or anyone’s fault – it just is. It’s okay to let go and care for myself no matter how many times I start over.
Whenever I do this, I always find myself crying or in tears. Several times that I have never been for myself or stood up for myself- often shelving the unpleasant emotions. Still a lot of things to work on, but knowing this practice truly increase my awareness of the young me.
Ohh that’s my most important exercise ❤️and I remind myself that I am good enough and that it is okay to fall short and my thoughts are real but not true 🥰
A mix of faith in my goodness and humor to my shortcomings is a good start!
The heart space can hold it all ❤️
Reminded me that I carry a card in my wallet that Tara had created a while ago- to use the three steps and practice them multiple times a day. No special equipment needed, just a moment in the present to make a shift.
The two arrows is such a useful metaphor. Thank you. I am in private practice and find self-judgement to such a common roadblock to self healing for my clients. For myself, blessedly I am very tolerant and compassionate toward myself, but sure enough in the exercise there is one area where I am not. When I thoughtlessly do things that are going to make my life more difficult. Like not marking a needed date in my notes or on my calendar that means I must spend time reconstructing when it might have occurred. Yes, self-compassion at such times, small as they are, certainly calls for self-compassion for my pressed and stressed self who sometime overlooks details. Thank you for the opportunity to identify this for what it is and shift my reactions.
In my head my story/ my blame, then feeling it in my body especially my heart and belly allowed me to somehow surrender and feel the space to be with it all … it’s raw, also uncomfortable but not suffering anymore… and in the process of changing/ transforming.
I feel most vulnerable around losing control of my emotions, usually anger/frustration.
It’s ok to feel these big emotions. Things are really hard right now.
Loved watching all episodes! very helpful. Tara explains it so well, but also short and to the point, with great examples of clients, the dog, etc – well done.
I found it easy to articulate what was in my head. I had no visual or words for my heart. Sadness I guess deep inside. Didn’t get to heart space this time of around.
I mentioned in my previous comment that I have an autoimmune disease and dealing with a lot of chronic health issues. For me, I felt a lot of sadness and fear come up. I am also a a Reiki Master practitioner so it felt very comforting to connect with my heart chakra by placing my hand over my heart. It felt soothing to tell myself I am safe in this moment and I am doing the best that I can right now.
This is a helpful practice for myself as well as for clients.
I was able to find my kind & loving inner parent mom voice saying it’s ok, I’m ok, this is fine to have these feelings, and I can handle them.
i recognized my past experience of walling mysekf off by staying in my head instead of being in my heart. i also remembered others doing that!
It was just recently that I realized I was depressed because I felt I was not living up to my family’s expectations. That I was supposed to behave a certain way to earn their love. I let go of that. I understand I will never be the person they want me to be. I did not have to. I am worthy of love without an agenda. I learned that I can be kind and compassionate and set boundaries in a gentle way. They don’t always respond well to my boundaries but I don’t blame myself. It’s what I used to do. Be quiet and internalize it. I have let it go and it feels like an awakening.
will use with my psychic readings
1. Unhooking from thoughts – present moment
2. Feeling feelings
3. Kindness
Love it. It’s always the same solution. Stop processing everything!
I took in the whole video and realized that I am stuck at entering heartspace. I used to feel at home with it. I am going through some intense ptsd and am having difficulty with self-lovingkindness.
I’m grateful to be reminded that “then” was “then”, and that NOW is HERE.
Self-loathing and judgement was THEN! Self-compassion and loving HERE and NOW!
I still need to be reminded, though, of where I AM😁🙏!
thank you ! wonderful to hear and practice this shift out of self judgement , procedure, faer anger depression fear , pTSD life and decades list in self shame and blame and isolation
to venturing into heart space and connecting w others finding community or a few heart centered loving friendships.
I’m looking forward to spending time with my heart again. if I want connection I will make that happen. I can do it.
I first read the second arrow story in Peace is Every Step by Thic Nhat Hanh, but I always seem to forget it’s function in real time. this is a lovely and applicable reminder. In a family relationship, I have a strained situation I’ve felt bad for caring so much about when I can’t control much of it. but when I apply the removal of the second arrow, I can just hold my sad feeling and my longing for better connection. I still don’t know how to reset things, but maybe I’ll just sit with the sadness for a while.
I felt sadness for how I treat myself. And compassion for myself.
This is an excellent presentation & example of movement from head to heart! My harsh critic showed up & I realized she is fear based and in ny mother’s voice which allowed me to form compassion & comfortably float on the ocean waves with her rather than hide & fear myself and her. Thank you
This is an excellent presentation & example of movement from head to heart! My harsh critic showed up & I realized she is fear based and in ny mother’s voice which allowed me to form compassion & comfortably float on the ocean waves with her rather than hide & fear myself and her. Thank you
I was the first person to judge and blame myself but the last person to hold compassion for, if ever. I’m learning to hold compassion for myself for all those experiences when I didn’t know how to be there for me. I hold compassion for that too.
this helped to remind me that I can experience turbulent emotions and embrace those and allow them to move through me and not beat myself up for having them in the first place.
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I wanted to rock myself and say “It’s ok to cry. You’re safe. I’m here to hold you.
It resonated so deeply. Thank you for expressing what has been going on for me. It soothes me and makes me feel less alone in the struggle of these changes. 🙏🏻
I enjoy that it is very clearly simplified the distinction of looking at breakdowns with self criticism,
VS
Looking at breakdowns with compassion and willingness to stand with the feelings, but they are not you.
Judging myself for not having “fixed” myself by now – turning 60 in a few months. Then as I listened and brought gentleness to myself I realized (again) that this self judgemental has always been with me…learned early on to protect me. IT is not my fault or anyone’s fault – it just is. It’s okay to let go and care for myself no matter how many times I start over.
Whenever I do this, I always find myself crying or in tears. Several times that I have never been for myself or stood up for myself- often shelving the unpleasant emotions. Still a lot of things to work on, but knowing this practice truly increase my awareness of the young me.
a wonderful practice that soften my heart space.i could feel the connection to myself that i had been longing since long time.
it felt so good. Thank you 🙂
Ohh that’s my most important exercise ❤️and I remind myself that I am good enough and that it is okay to fall short and my thoughts are real but not true 🥰
A mix of faith in my goodness and humor to my shortcomings is a good start!
The heart space can hold it all ❤️
Reminded me that I carry a card in my wallet that Tara had created a while ago- to use the three steps and practice them multiple times a day. No special equipment needed, just a moment in the present to make a shift.
The two arrows is such a useful metaphor. Thank you. I am in private practice and find self-judgement to such a common roadblock to self healing for my clients. For myself, blessedly I am very tolerant and compassionate toward myself, but sure enough in the exercise there is one area where I am not. When I thoughtlessly do things that are going to make my life more difficult. Like not marking a needed date in my notes or on my calendar that means I must spend time reconstructing when it might have occurred. Yes, self-compassion at such times, small as they are, certainly calls for self-compassion for my pressed and stressed self who sometime overlooks details. Thank you for the opportunity to identify this for what it is and shift my reactions.
“This belongs.” This is so novel for me, so helpful. Thank you.
Moving to heartspace brought back some familiar sobs, but the image of the waves kept my breathing manageable
In my head my story/ my blame, then feeling it in my body especially my heart and belly allowed me to somehow surrender and feel the space to be with it all … it’s raw, also uncomfortable but not suffering anymore… and in the process of changing/ transforming.
I feel most vulnerable around losing control of my emotions, usually anger/frustration.
It’s ok to feel these big emotions. Things are really hard right now.
understanding from the heart and why this pain hurt occurred.
compassion for self
I realized that when I stand up for myself I feel guilty for doing that. I want to work on that mindset.
Loved watching all episodes! very helpful. Tara explains it so well, but also short and to the point, with great examples of clients, the dog, etc – well done.
Not believing thoughts and dropping into feelings has created a break in my rumination and allowed me to rest with what is.