I love “Real but not true” as a tool to affirm one’s feelings AND open to looking at whether the thoughts are factually accurate, balanced, and complete. Thank you.
Who would I be if I did not believe something is wrong with me? I would be the best version of myself. The person I know I am capable of being but every so often fail to be.
People addicted to alcohol have been described as “abnormally fearful people.” That condition/disease runs through my family history BIGTIME! But I’m not really sure that, given a clean slate I would axe the disease, not because I “relish pain” but because of the many connections and supports it has given me over Time. At my current age [yep! octagenarian means I’m “in the set called “eighty or more years”].
According to expectations of my culture, I should be dying ALONE and PURPOSELESS and FRIGHTENED in a nursing facility. Instead, I’ve tried to take on some dishonest dudes and not allow them to steal from me. I couldn’t stop their theft, but walked away from someone who wanted me to “shake hands” to signify I “accepted” the loss of what had been stolen. I’ll NEVER shake hands and pretend to be a good sport when I TRIED to make clear that the word “rape” doesn’t always mean a penis entered a vagina it shouldn’t have. Body parts aside, the word “rape” means “take without permission” and I’ll be damned to Dante’s lowest circle of the Inferno before I’ll shake hands and agree that “all’s fair in rape and greed.” I lost the battle to retain my property for SURE but I retained my right to say NO, goddamnit! once it was OVER. The mob ruled! The cheese stood alone. And the circle of rats clapped each other on the back and said stuff like: “Good game! Let’s do this again some time!” RATS and RAPE are both 4-letter words. Brings to mind a George Carlin record on 4-letter words.
Should a sadist ask to shake hands to feel absolved of his guilt in the future, I will walk away chanting George Carlin!!!
That’s a pretty cool question – brought immediate tears to my eyes.
I’d be interested, though, in *your* take on the ‘real’ bit in ‘real but not true’.
What do *YOU* mean by real in this case?
“Who would I be, If I didnt believe something is wrong with me?”
I would be who I totally am and what I came for
Full of trust, self confidence
Feels like freedom, taking back my whole energy.
Being present, relaxed, joyful, clear,
No diminishing, life would be full of making wonderful experiences, judgeless
Opening to love and being loved in all that I am
Allowing, expecting my dreams to come true, allowing success and financiell freedom
To literally be without fear would mean I’d most likely be dead. However, to be free of the fear of being wrong, shamed, rejected would, I imagine, bring untold joys. One day ……
I would be a less stressed, balanced authentic self who is unafraid to express my needs in a graceful way. I would stop judging others and myself and I would be curious about my feelings that come up when I’m triggered, rather than immediately reacting with judgement of my imperfections.
I would be a happy, joy-filled person who could relax enough to enjoy life. Relaxed body and breath. Open and curious to what life had to offer, instead of being hyper-vigilant. Able to be empathetic to others and self compassionate.
Who would I be? I’d be living out my passion of reaching out to those who want encouragement, instead of trying to conform to the expectations of those around me and being concerned about whether I make their grade.
the physical body would be relaxed, allowing me to live more from my heart and feelings. I would be more present in the here and now and live from flow
Thank you for the videos. I‘ve been following Tara‘s teachings for many years. „Who would you be without your fear“ loosens thegrip on the habitual patterns. Pausing and imagining the situation if there was no fear helps me tear the anxiety wall down and see challenging situations as lesson to look towards the fear, not freeze about it, look towards, take my inner self by the hand and walk through one little step after the other. It is not easy. But with the help of the teachings it is manageable.
Iris, 68 from Germany
I would be optimistic, traveling around the world, driving up and down the East Coast to visit my friends, post my profile on bumble again, volunteer at the immigration rescue society as soon as the election over.
George Jacobs, Counseling, Kerhonkson, NY, USAsays
Tara, you are zeroing in closer and closer to the core patterns of fear based beliefs. I’m reminded of our beloved Cheri Huber’s first book, There’s Nothing Wrong with You”. Who would you be if you weren’t afraid of losing the love? who would you be if you knew you WERE the love that you are afraid to lose!
Thank you so much for your wise gifts of healing presented with such gentleness and warmth!
Thanks for sharing simple accessible ways to create space for recognizing in the moment when fear response begins to set in motion. Finding a place within the strong bond of identification with this fear thinking response and allowing it to relax is so powerful for introducing change.
IF I WERE ABLE TO BE THE PERSON I WANTED TO BE, I would be someone who laughed at the things that hurt me now instead of being the cowardly lion [Bert Lahr in The Wizard of Oz] or the Scarecrow [who feared his thinking was ALWAYS “cornfuzzled”] or the Tin Man whose joints rusted so he was unable to MOVE or ACT at all. I would be a FREE person, able to jump as gracefully in an arc as an ordinary FROG! I’d be a winged horse, a Pegasus, able to rise ABOVE all the grievous logjams that present needless OBSTACLES. I’d take children on Sky Rides so they could SEE things that would help them make SENSE of what they were actually having to live through. I would look for another flying horse and ask where the greenest pastures and the “stillest waters” might be. I would probably still have to TAKE OFF in grey fog, but maybe wouldn’t have to do SO MUCH FLYING BLIND!
I would be more empathetic, more loving, and confident in my self and my abilities. I’ll be more willing to take risks and challenge myself to live on the edge of my abilities. I’d smile 😊 more
Through therapy and my reading and mindfullness practice I am only just, at the age of 60! Beginning to appreciate the huge impact having been adopted at 12 days old has had on my life and my absolute radar for, and fear of, rejection. I often feel disconnected from my own beautiful family of five adult children and grandchildren, and am hoping to be able to learn to manage this all pervading fear and anxiety to enable me to truly live in the moment, find gratitude for my many blessings, and embrace a life of authenticity. Thankyou for this programme🙏
As obtuse as this may seem a recent talk by Swami Yogatamamda about the insights of the sufi philosopher ibn Arabi covered the very same issues ie the existent-non-existent of loving-kindness; for sure the imprints and implementations of hurt (and horror) impact us all in varying ways yet I have found and witnessed, with a the quality of ‘for sure’ there’s access to an original blueprint too. Tara offers here the guidance needed to find your own blueprints to access the joy held within.
Thank you so much Tara for this eyeopening series. I see a lot of anxiety in my age group 70+ and your series gave me a lot of insight on how I might be able to support them.
This is such a difficult area to understand. We need to have more help for adult children, help that will take into account the growing phenomenon of male abuse and border line personality disorders. Wish you well in what you do.
Without fear, I would live closer to my true self. Being more open, loving, appreciative and staying more in the present moment
Lot’s of fun and lightness
Hopefully, I would be able to spend more time living in the present moment.
An enlightened being living fully in the present moment!
I love “Real but not true” as a tool to affirm one’s feelings AND open to looking at whether the thoughts are factually accurate, balanced, and complete. Thank you.
I would be unstoppable
Join or start a private practice. Continue or enter new leadership. Be more connected with my family and friends.
Who would I be if I did not believe something is wrong with me? I would be the best version of myself. The person I know I am capable of being but every so often fail to be.
Love this!!!
Without fear I am free , more compassionate and open to what is present and not to what is in my mind.
People addicted to alcohol have been described as “abnormally fearful people.” That condition/disease runs through my family history BIGTIME! But I’m not really sure that, given a clean slate I would axe the disease, not because I “relish pain” but because of the many connections and supports it has given me over Time. At my current age [yep! octagenarian means I’m “in the set called “eighty or more years”].
According to expectations of my culture, I should be dying ALONE and PURPOSELESS and FRIGHTENED in a nursing facility. Instead, I’ve tried to take on some dishonest dudes and not allow them to steal from me. I couldn’t stop their theft, but walked away from someone who wanted me to “shake hands” to signify I “accepted” the loss of what had been stolen. I’ll NEVER shake hands and pretend to be a good sport when I TRIED to make clear that the word “rape” doesn’t always mean a penis entered a vagina it shouldn’t have. Body parts aside, the word “rape” means “take without permission” and I’ll be damned to Dante’s lowest circle of the Inferno before I’ll shake hands and agree that “all’s fair in rape and greed.” I lost the battle to retain my property for SURE but I retained my right to say NO, goddamnit! once it was OVER. The mob ruled! The cheese stood alone. And the circle of rats clapped each other on the back and said stuff like: “Good game! Let’s do this again some time!” RATS and RAPE are both 4-letter words. Brings to mind a George Carlin record on 4-letter words.
Should a sadist ask to shake hands to feel absolved of his guilt in the future, I will walk away chanting George Carlin!!!
I would rediscover fearless joy
I will help my clients realize the freedom of a felt sense of safety and compassion for self and others.
That’s a pretty cool question – brought immediate tears to my eyes.
I’d be interested, though, in *your* take on the ‘real’ bit in ‘real but not true’.
What do *YOU* mean by real in this case?
I would be my authentic self – unapologetically but with diplomacy.
Another person standing strong and self loving
thank you I will try and use that line, real but not true,thank you
This really speaks to the biggest challenge that continuously arises in my marriage of 29 years. Thank you for this video!
Happier. I would again trust myself to show up authentically and not fear being knocked down again.
Thank you, this are useful resources for some consultants
I’d be more loving kinder and accepting of others
I would simply do what needs to be done to take care of myself.
“Who would I be, If I didnt believe something is wrong with me?”
I would be who I totally am and what I came for
Full of trust, self confidence
Feels like freedom, taking back my whole energy.
Being present, relaxed, joyful, clear,
No diminishing, life would be full of making wonderful experiences, judgeless
Opening to love and being loved in all that I am
Allowing, expecting my dreams to come true, allowing success and financiell freedom
Great question, thank you Tara
I would have a sense of freedom & confidence to take steps in new directions. To allow myself to be braver.
To literally be without fear would mean I’d most likely be dead. However, to be free of the fear of being wrong, shamed, rejected would, I imagine, bring untold joys. One day ……
I would be a less stressed, balanced authentic self who is unafraid to express my needs in a graceful way. I would stop judging others and myself and I would be curious about my feelings that come up when I’m triggered, rather than immediately reacting with judgement of my imperfections.
I would be free. My arms reach out, my heart opens and I want to embrace the world
I would be more of a leader and more self confident.
Thank you for this thoughtful wisdom.
I would be a happy, joy-filled person who could relax enough to enjoy life. Relaxed body and breath. Open and curious to what life had to offer, instead of being hyper-vigilant. Able to be empathetic to others and self compassionate.
A man who can take good care of himself and others
Who would I be? I’d be living out my passion of reaching out to those who want encouragement, instead of trying to conform to the expectations of those around me and being concerned about whether I make their grade.
I would be a person who was more curious and confident. Thank you for this tool!
I’d be unburdened of heaps of suffering. I hope I would open to liberation and joy.
the physical body would be relaxed, allowing me to live more from my heart and feelings. I would be more present in the here and now and live from flow
Thank you for the videos. I‘ve been following Tara‘s teachings for many years. „Who would you be without your fear“ loosens thegrip on the habitual patterns. Pausing and imagining the situation if there was no fear helps me tear the anxiety wall down and see challenging situations as lesson to look towards the fear, not freeze about it, look towards, take my inner self by the hand and walk through one little step after the other. It is not easy. But with the help of the teachings it is manageable.
Iris, 68 from Germany
It’s hard to imagine that version of myself but I hope more confident in myself and optimistic.
I would be optimistic, traveling around the world, driving up and down the East Coast to visit my friends, post my profile on bumble again, volunteer at the immigration rescue society as soon as the election over.
Tara, you are zeroing in closer and closer to the core patterns of fear based beliefs. I’m reminded of our beloved Cheri Huber’s first book, There’s Nothing Wrong with You”. Who would you be if you weren’t afraid of losing the love? who would you be if you knew you WERE the love that you are afraid to lose!
Thank you so much for your wise gifts of healing presented with such gentleness and warmth!
With much love and appreciation,
George Jacobs
jacobsgh@gmail.com
Without fear I would be more energetic and optimistic, feeling safer and more secure, allowing me to have better connections with other people
Thanks for sharing simple accessible ways to create space for recognizing in the moment when fear response begins to set in motion. Finding a place within the strong bond of identification with this fear thinking response and allowing it to relax is so powerful for introducing change.
Hmm, I’d like to meet that version of myself.
Who would I be ..happier, more spontaneous, more in the moment and willing to take risks ❤️
IF I WERE ABLE TO BE THE PERSON I WANTED TO BE, I would be someone who laughed at the things that hurt me now instead of being the cowardly lion [Bert Lahr in The Wizard of Oz] or the Scarecrow [who feared his thinking was ALWAYS “cornfuzzled”] or the Tin Man whose joints rusted so he was unable to MOVE or ACT at all. I would be a FREE person, able to jump as gracefully in an arc as an ordinary FROG! I’d be a winged horse, a Pegasus, able to rise ABOVE all the grievous logjams that present needless OBSTACLES. I’d take children on Sky Rides so they could SEE things that would help them make SENSE of what they were actually having to live through. I would look for another flying horse and ask where the greenest pastures and the “stillest waters” might be. I would probably still have to TAKE OFF in grey fog, but maybe wouldn’t have to do SO MUCH FLYING BLIND!
I would be more empathetic, more loving, and confident in my self and my abilities. I’ll be more willing to take risks and challenge myself to live on the edge of my abilities. I’d smile 😊 more
Through therapy and my reading and mindfullness practice I am only just, at the age of 60! Beginning to appreciate the huge impact having been adopted at 12 days old has had on my life and my absolute radar for, and fear of, rejection. I often feel disconnected from my own beautiful family of five adult children and grandchildren, and am hoping to be able to learn to manage this all pervading fear and anxiety to enable me to truly live in the moment, find gratitude for my many blessings, and embrace a life of authenticity. Thankyou for this programme🙏
As obtuse as this may seem a recent talk by Swami Yogatamamda about the insights of the sufi philosopher ibn Arabi covered the very same issues ie the existent-non-existent of loving-kindness; for sure the imprints and implementations of hurt (and horror) impact us all in varying ways yet I have found and witnessed, with a the quality of ‘for sure’ there’s access to an original blueprint too. Tara offers here the guidance needed to find your own blueprints to access the joy held within.
Useful fear or fear generated by thoughts. This sounds like an interesting series Tara. A fearless heart.
Thank you so much Tara for this eyeopening series. I see a lot of anxiety in my age group 70+ and your series gave me a lot of insight on how I might be able to support them.
This is such a difficult area to understand. We need to have more help for adult children, help that will take into account the growing phenomenon of male abuse and border line personality disorders. Wish you well in what you do.
I would be complete