The three o’clock wake-up sends my mind searching for worry. All these thoughts take on a life of thinking with the hope of solving…but they mostly don’t solve and eventually fade and sleep returns too close to dawn.
Mantra and breath help me when my mind allows them in. Thankyou for helping me realise this Loop effect and how addictive it is for me. and how I might short circuit the loop.
Neva Turer, Another Field, Santa Rosa, CA, USAsays
My worries have to do with the state of the world, my children and my grandchildren and the world they will inherit – these are much greater worries than the ones you mentioned. I think the same process will help ease these great worries – it will just take more work to get there!
You are fantastic. Your video on ‘Breaking the Worry Addiction’ is extremely right-on-the-mark. The self-doubt portion is so true and I look forward to moving onto that subject.
Thank you for your kindness and compassion,
Patty
Seems the environmental, social, political times constitute an immediate and anticipated threat. A response is needed now, and, since I am not currently being impacted by dramatic weather or hate-filled attack, I am creating more anxiety with my thoughts of ‘something terrible will happen here or, worse, to my loved ones’. Gains strength from a nervous system well trained since young.
Thing is, I can see that either way, a helpful response is unavailable when I’m in fear/anxiety. But, I also don’t want to go into denial.
Always something to worry about. If not my mum then my son. My mum always worried, wasn’t adventurous and I’ve developed fear f others, not doing what I’d love to do which is travel but scared to do it on my own
My active career as a psychologist is past but I have had depression and anxiety my whole life. Did a lot of thx on both sides of the desk. I really appreciate your teaching especially your use of anecdotes and stories. When I first found your video talks, I cried and cried. You have a gift. About anxiety, using RAIN and other suggestions is helpful especially because it’s straightforward, fairly simple and produces helpful results most of the time. Find I am becoming aware of my thoughts and reactions more now. Happens so quickly I can only see it “in the rear view mirror “. Anyway thank you again.
Worry and anxiety is prevalent in the females in my family. Feat of not being good enough at my job, fear of not being able to retire comfortably. Fear of not being liked, fear of heights, open water, my dog getting attacked. Fear of pushy colleagues, work overwhelm, you name it, I am worried or fearful about it.
In partnership, addiction to worry by one person can rob the other person’s capacity for simple concern, because they react to distance themselves from the addicted worrier, and confuse concern with obsessive worrying. This was my experience in marriage. I’d tell my husband he needed to learn how to worry! Worry more! Because my over worry had drained him even of wanting to go near concern. This was part of our story, anyway. I’ll worry over the rest of it as U sign off! With love 😊
My anxiety started with the pandemic- I am an extrovert living alone. I am also immunocompromised so not traveling, eating indoors, volunteering- all the things that made up my life before, I feel my anxiety strongest in the morning..thank,you for these concrete suggestions.
What is it about worry that increases as we get older? Is it with increased knowledge, experience, understanding we also increase our fear? I never thought about worry as an addiction but, after listening to this, am guilty of having it. It comes with a sense of overwhelm and helplessness, even though these are projected emotions. Thank you for this series. It is very helpful.
Maryann Shepherd, Clergy, Bullhead City, AZ, USAsays
I worry about health, heart, dementia, eyesight, broken bones
finances
the health of my dog who has diabetes
I am alone, I have no family, who will take care of me
i find that anxiety and worry not only strangles my clients’ ability to thrive but it is a way of living which is contagious or inherited within their family group which then perpetuates itself in a negative feedback loop of noticing only the negatives
My addiction to worry helped me navigate traumatic times when I was younger. Today this addiction feeds the anxious parts that don’t feel safe. Thank you for reminding me to remind them that we are safe now. We can sit in safety and enjoy what life gives us everyday.
Michelle Taylor, Social Work, Austin , TX, USAsays
I deal with anxiety & depression (& peri-menopause!), so I have a lot of coping skills. But that fear can be insidious! If I allow myself to get too far into my head (or the future), I can become absolutely paralyzed with fear, & completely cut off from my instincts that usually help me make my best decisions. I have to yank myself back into the present moment over & over, & getting out in nature is my favorite way. Easier said than done, tho. When fear is in charge, I shut down, & stop moving, & it may be days before I do what will help. That’s progress, tho!
Julie M, Another Field, San Francisco, CA, USAsays
I believe my practice of fear and anxiety began 20 years ago when I began to experience a higher level of professional success. My people were prosecuted and removed from their homes and livelihoods and put in concentration camps at a time when my people were just gaining a level of financial success and impact in the US (particularly in the West Coast). They were beginning to enjoy the American dream and at the same time there was an increasingly strong anti-Asian (American) sentiment. My grandmother on my father’s side internalized this as “it is dangerous to be happy” and any time I became exuberant or happy and energetic as a small child, she would warn me not to be so happy. I don’t think she was consciously aware of this connection she had made between happiness and danger, but she expressed it in her admonitions to me and likely to my father. As a little girl, I remember my father also scolding me when I became too exuberant or happy. At the time, I remember thinking how unfortunate it was that he could not appreciate the beautiful day and be happy, but much later as an adult, it appears my unconscious apparatus is working overtime to protect me from danger (in the form of happiness.) Now if I begin to be happy, or experience something fun or enjoyable or take time to something leisurely or enjoyable (including during evenings or weekends), I immediately begin to worry that something terrible is going to happen. When things start to go well professionally I get scared and begin to undermine myself. It’s an exhausting cycle that I haven’t yet been able to break, and I fear that I am passing this on to my teenage son who is about to launch into the world as a young adult. I hope I can find a “cure” for this in time to instill a sense of optimism and agency in my child.
Thank you, Tara. I especially liked the Mark Twain quote and your gentle somatic, heart-centered approach. Humor and heart can neutralize all sorts of difficulties.
Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. You expend a lot of energy but you don’t get anywhere. It can take the cerebral cortex offline and leave you unable to think clearly. Thank you Tara for your 3 step meditation practice for breaking the chain that keeps us stuck. Self- compassion works!
It’s always there when I wake up. Being busy or engaged makes recede. Seems to be more about general maleate than specific concerns. Loneliness seems a big part.
I suffer from anxiety.
This has been partly ‘acquired’ from having a parent with OCD and depression.
My son has had health problems which means some of my fears are rational.
Margaret Ame, Teacher, Spokane Valley , WA, USAsays
This was totally accurate to my life journey, especially these past 2 years. It’s especially helpful to understand the addictive process this involves. Thanks for this opportunity to understand better the path of healing.
I worry about getting into an accident when my husband is driving. My stomach gets tight. I guess I don’t trust him even though we have never gotten into an accident. it just dawned on me that I want to be in control instead of letting go and trust. I’ll practice these 3 steps. Thank you!
worry is feeding itself on fear and when I am caught in it, it takes a big shift to release the worry. Usually reaching out to nature or supportive others helps!
Steven Silber, Medicine, Philadelphia, PA, USAsays
even in moments of peace, security and contentment, my mind seems to reach for thoughts of what may happen about one thing or another in the future. and because the future is unknowable, anxiety wells up and disturbs the now…in which everything is just as it should be. to be present always would be such a relief
There was one day last week, Tuesday, to be specific, when I woke up in the morning and noticed something very different. I wasn’t able to identify it at first but only recognized what my body felt like. It was light and felt unencumbered. My body felt lighter but mostly my chest area felt…like there wasn’t anything ‘on it.’ As I walked my dog in the morning, I was really enjoying how this felt. I enjoyed being able to feel those sensations in my body. As I tried to figure out what the cause of this was, it dawned on me that I wasn’t worrying about anything. Nothing in particular would come to mind to worry about. I was a bit dumbfounded because what that experience taught me was the continual state of worry that I live in. I believe that was a real gift from the universe so that I could finally have something to compare my normal state to what life can feel like without worry. Thanks for these lessens.
Thank you, Tara Brach and team, for these types of online lessons that you continue to offer to the public. They are invaluable.
I can not follow what Tara shares here because of the background music. Unfortunately it is too distracting for me.
I wonder how the decision was made to add music and video imagery. Her teachings are so beautiful and to the point. There is no need for this kind of editing in my opinion.
I have had serious health issues since 2003 and became addicted to worrying about everything and everyone. I was unable to attend my 12 Step meetings and allowed the worry & anxiety to dictate my thoughts, feelings and actions. I truly want to be free of chronic worry and self doubt and to live a balanced & happy life in community with myself, family & others.
My addiction to worry was so acute it made me sick. Everyone said to me anxiety causes this illness. so yes worry was an addiction. What Mark Twain said is so true many of our greatest worries never happen. So those three steps sound very helpful. Thank uou but now to practise then.
looking to let go of what does not serve me anymore
I am doing my best to stay in the present.
The past is over the future isn’t now.
The three o’clock wake-up sends my mind searching for worry. All these thoughts take on a life of thinking with the hope of solving…but they mostly don’t solve and eventually fade and sleep returns too close to dawn.
Mantra and breath help me when my mind allows them in. Thankyou for helping me realise this Loop effect and how addictive it is for me. and how I might short circuit the loop.
I have a lot.
there’s always something to worry about – I need to worry about something
Worry keeps me from taking risks and connecting with others. It prevents me from sharing my gifts and contributing to the team.
Worry makes me lose my sense of humor and joy. Thank you for these valuable videos, however I did find the music distracting.
I’m learning how to transform worry into intentional prayer & healing visualizations.
I am experiencing arthritis in my knees and hips and ankles and I feel like my life is over
My worries have to do with the state of the world, my children and my grandchildren and the world they will inherit – these are much greater worries than the ones you mentioned. I think the same process will help ease these great worries – it will just take more work to get there!
Dear Tara,
You are fantastic. Your video on ‘Breaking the Worry Addiction’ is extremely right-on-the-mark. The self-doubt portion is so true and I look forward to moving onto that subject.
Thank you for your kindness and compassion,
Patty
Seems the environmental, social, political times constitute an immediate and anticipated threat. A response is needed now, and, since I am not currently being impacted by dramatic weather or hate-filled attack, I am creating more anxiety with my thoughts of ‘something terrible will happen here or, worse, to my loved ones’. Gains strength from a nervous system well trained since young.
Thing is, I can see that either way, a helpful response is unavailable when I’m in fear/anxiety. But, I also don’t want to go into denial.
I am a health care provider who has a recent ovarian cancer diagnosis. Waiting 3 weeks for that first oncology appt is anxiety-provoking!
Wonderful commentary! Thank you.
Always something to worry about. If not my mum then my son. My mum always worried, wasn’t adventurous and I’ve developed fear f others, not doing what I’d love to do which is travel but scared to do it on my own
My active career as a psychologist is past but I have had depression and anxiety my whole life. Did a lot of thx on both sides of the desk. I really appreciate your teaching especially your use of anecdotes and stories. When I first found your video talks, I cried and cried. You have a gift. About anxiety, using RAIN and other suggestions is helpful especially because it’s straightforward, fairly simple and produces helpful results most of the time. Find I am becoming aware of my thoughts and reactions more now. Happens so quickly I can only see it “in the rear view mirror “. Anyway thank you again.
Worry and anxiety is prevalent in the females in my family. Feat of not being good enough at my job, fear of not being able to retire comfortably. Fear of not being liked, fear of heights, open water, my dog getting attacked. Fear of pushy colleagues, work overwhelm, you name it, I am worried or fearful about it.
Worrying since childhood, takes a lot of disciplin to come back to mindfulness practice. But for sure the only healthy way out. Thank you Tara!!
I struggle with worry and anxiety but I am actively and intentionally working towards calm presence and mindfulness, sabbath rest and trust
constant rumination about things I can’t change. worrying about things that have not happened.
In partnership, addiction to worry by one person can rob the other person’s capacity for simple concern, because they react to distance themselves from the addicted worrier, and confuse concern with obsessive worrying. This was my experience in marriage. I’d tell my husband he needed to learn how to worry! Worry more! Because my over worry had drained him even of wanting to go near concern. This was part of our story, anyway. I’ll worry over the rest of it as U sign off! With love 😊
My anxiety started with the pandemic- I am an extrovert living alone. I am also immunocompromised so not traveling, eating indoors, volunteering- all the things that made up my life before, I feel my anxiety strongest in the morning..thank,you for these concrete suggestions.
What is it about worry that increases as we get older? Is it with increased knowledge, experience, understanding we also increase our fear? I never thought about worry as an addiction but, after listening to this, am guilty of having it. It comes with a sense of overwhelm and helplessness, even though these are projected emotions. Thank you for this series. It is very helpful.
Thank you for your help. I have entered a psychiatrist hospital for my worry thoughts.
I worry about health, heart, dementia, eyesight, broken bones
finances
the health of my dog who has diabetes
I am alone, I have no family, who will take care of me
i find that anxiety and worry not only strangles my clients’ ability to thrive but it is a way of living which is contagious or inherited within their family group which then perpetuates itself in a negative feedback loop of noticing only the negatives
Such a good description of worry, I put it in my permanent notes.
Because…..
I only have 2 worries – living and dying (I like to keep it simple).
C.G.
It captures my whole being, body and thoughts, if I am not aware of it.
I have worried for as long as I can remember. This sounds like an amazing course. Thanks and Gratitude to you for offering it…
I very quickly imagine the worse, what s most of the time break my energy and paralyse me.
My addiction to worry helped me navigate traumatic times when I was younger. Today this addiction feeds the anxious parts that don’t feel safe. Thank you for reminding me to remind them that we are safe now. We can sit in safety and enjoy what life gives us everyday.
Thank you for the reminder that letting go fears of what hasn’t happened yet frees us to be completely present now.
I deal with anxiety & depression (& peri-menopause!), so I have a lot of coping skills. But that fear can be insidious! If I allow myself to get too far into my head (or the future), I can become absolutely paralyzed with fear, & completely cut off from my instincts that usually help me make my best decisions. I have to yank myself back into the present moment over & over, & getting out in nature is my favorite way. Easier said than done, tho. When fear is in charge, I shut down, & stop moving, & it may be days before I do what will help. That’s progress, tho!
Curious in addition to nature what other coping skills you use. I deal with Anxiety & Depression (and Peri-menopause) too!
I believe my practice of fear and anxiety began 20 years ago when I began to experience a higher level of professional success. My people were prosecuted and removed from their homes and livelihoods and put in concentration camps at a time when my people were just gaining a level of financial success and impact in the US (particularly in the West Coast). They were beginning to enjoy the American dream and at the same time there was an increasingly strong anti-Asian (American) sentiment. My grandmother on my father’s side internalized this as “it is dangerous to be happy” and any time I became exuberant or happy and energetic as a small child, she would warn me not to be so happy. I don’t think she was consciously aware of this connection she had made between happiness and danger, but she expressed it in her admonitions to me and likely to my father. As a little girl, I remember my father also scolding me when I became too exuberant or happy. At the time, I remember thinking how unfortunate it was that he could not appreciate the beautiful day and be happy, but much later as an adult, it appears my unconscious apparatus is working overtime to protect me from danger (in the form of happiness.) Now if I begin to be happy, or experience something fun or enjoyable or take time to something leisurely or enjoyable (including during evenings or weekends), I immediately begin to worry that something terrible is going to happen. When things start to go well professionally I get scared and begin to undermine myself. It’s an exhausting cycle that I haven’t yet been able to break, and I fear that I am passing this on to my teenage son who is about to launch into the world as a young adult. I hope I can find a “cure” for this in time to instill a sense of optimism and agency in my child.
Thank you, Tara. I especially liked the Mark Twain quote and your gentle somatic, heart-centered approach. Humor and heart can neutralize all sorts of difficulties.
Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. You expend a lot of energy but you don’t get anywhere. It can take the cerebral cortex offline and leave you unable to think clearly. Thank you Tara for your 3 step meditation practice for breaking the chain that keeps us stuck. Self- compassion works!
Love “Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. You expend a lot of energy but you don’t get anywhere.”
Good image to remember.
It’s always there when I wake up. Being busy or engaged makes recede. Seems to be more about general maleate than specific concerns. Loneliness seems a big part.
I suffer from anxiety.
This has been partly ‘acquired’ from having a parent with OCD and depression.
My son has had health problems which means some of my fears are rational.
I sometimes worry about the state of the US and the world in general. Worry about what will be left for my grandchildren.
Yes, I have realized lately that I have a tender to pre-worry. So that when I start to really worry I’m warmed up. Kind of like preheating the oven:-)
This was totally accurate to my life journey, especially these past 2 years. It’s especially helpful to understand the addictive process this involves. Thanks for this opportunity to understand better the path of healing.
I worry about getting into an accident when my husband is driving. My stomach gets tight. I guess I don’t trust him even though we have never gotten into an accident. it just dawned on me that I want to be in control instead of letting go and trust. I’ll practice these 3 steps. Thank you!
Thank you 🙏 I really ended this
worry is feeding itself on fear and when I am caught in it, it takes a big shift to release the worry. Usually reaching out to nature or supportive others helps!
even in moments of peace, security and contentment, my mind seems to reach for thoughts of what may happen about one thing or another in the future. and because the future is unknowable, anxiety wells up and disturbs the now…in which everything is just as it should be. to be present always would be such a relief
There was one day last week, Tuesday, to be specific, when I woke up in the morning and noticed something very different. I wasn’t able to identify it at first but only recognized what my body felt like. It was light and felt unencumbered. My body felt lighter but mostly my chest area felt…like there wasn’t anything ‘on it.’ As I walked my dog in the morning, I was really enjoying how this felt. I enjoyed being able to feel those sensations in my body. As I tried to figure out what the cause of this was, it dawned on me that I wasn’t worrying about anything. Nothing in particular would come to mind to worry about. I was a bit dumbfounded because what that experience taught me was the continual state of worry that I live in. I believe that was a real gift from the universe so that I could finally have something to compare my normal state to what life can feel like without worry. Thanks for these lessens.
Thank you, Tara Brach and team, for these types of online lessons that you continue to offer to the public. They are invaluable.
Addiction to worry has felt like I’m thinking through my fears. Like I’m doing something useful. But I’m stuck.
I can not follow what Tara shares here because of the background music. Unfortunately it is too distracting for me.
I wonder how the decision was made to add music and video imagery. Her teachings are so beautiful and to the point. There is no need for this kind of editing in my opinion.
Is this editing helpful for others?
Thank you so much for all your help!
I have had serious health issues since 2003 and became addicted to worrying about everything and everyone. I was unable to attend my 12 Step meetings and allowed the worry & anxiety to dictate my thoughts, feelings and actions. I truly want to be free of chronic worry and self doubt and to live a balanced & happy life in community with myself, family & others.
My addiction to worry was so acute it made me sick. Everyone said to me anxiety causes this illness. so yes worry was an addiction. What Mark Twain said is so true many of our greatest worries never happen. So those three steps sound very helpful. Thank uou but now to practise then.
Thank you, Tara! We would love to come to an in-person mediation soon if possible.