Thank you Tara for these videos and most of all for the practical steps to take, in being mindful and compassionate towards ourselves in order to do that for others
I am a mom, not a practitioner. If I can forgive myself for my bad interactions with my children I will be better able to interact with them going forward in a way that lets me see them and their feelings better, instead of being mired in my own shame and guilt; I can be present with them.
Deep gratitude for your presence, and your immense gift for teaching, Tara. I have been reading/ listening to you one way or another,for decades from far away South Africa. I will certainly be recommending doing this course, and the practices to all of my own psychotherapy clients.
Namaste Mary Ann
Now that I really feel better about myself, I am more able to feel what they were going through; without feeling so bad I can tell more compassionately that I feel sorry, so that they feel heard. (in stead of giving reasons for my reaction)
The idea ‘It’s not my fault’ seemed at first a get-out-of-jail free card, perhaps undeserved. But I am seeing now that only when I free myself from the pain of harsh judgement can I be open-hearted to others. Now to make it happen!
I realized that i have been protecting myself from feeling responsible for hurting someone I care about.
He was deeply hurt because of my feelings actions – I feel guilt and shame and I think I need to forgive myself for hurting him. Even if he dosent.
I realized that i have been protecting myself from feeling responsible for hurting my x feelings, by “knowing” i was “moraly rigth” to do things I did and feel what I did. But it still hurt him a lot. I dident feel loved, so I dident think he would be deeply hurt. I was wrong. A deep feeling of not beeing lovebel and longing for real connection led to actions that in the long run hurt my hole family.
He was deeply hurt because of my feelings actions – I feel guilt and shame and I think I need to forgive myself for hurting him. Even if he dosent.
Kathy Hardie-Williams, Marriage/Family Therapy, Lake Oswego, OR, USAsays
Tara you have such a soothing voice! I feel relaxed just listening to you. These three teaching videos have been fabulous and very timely. Thank you so much for the opportunity to hear them.
It could help free them of their self judgment, which would in turn help them be more present with others. Coming from self-acceptance instead of self-judgment gives more room for a genuine heart connection with others. It could transform all of their relationships.
Forgiving myself would release the relationship for expectations and release me from feeling like I need to fix everything, impress the other person or change how they feel about me.
This was fantastic as it offered practical steps.. too often as a hypnotherapist I diagnose and unvail what lies beneath but the person does not get a tool to do something about it .. the fact that self judgement doesn’t improve your behavior was a big one for me.. and the forgiveness and your your fault view is actually not getting off the hook but frees you to act in a way you seek. Great stuff and thank you for your generosity and sharing
This was fantastic as it offered practical steps.. too often I diagnose and unvail what lies beneath but the person does not get a tool to do something about it .. the fact that self judgement doesn’t improve your behavior was a big one for me.. and the forgiveness and your your fault view is actually not getting off the hook but frees you to act in a way you seek. Great stuff and thank you for your generosity and sharing
The idea of dissolving the walls of pain and self hatred becomes the way to freedom becomes instinctive and intuitive is freeing, but first the pain must be seen and accepted. Thanks Tara, for giving us a doorway to peace, for ourselves and for others. With metta,
Iain
Blake, Marriage/Family Therapy, Santa Rosa, CA, USAsays
Thank you so much for these videos. They help me to connect to myself and be aware of my core beliefs of anger. I am practicing self-forgiveness and feeling calm.
I found it so hard to let go of self judgement. Tara, with your practices i have… and you are so right, i now have more intimacy with others. Thank you a 100 times over.
I am No longer working as a Psycho social Rehab Counselor. My own issues arose and cause me to resign. I myself need more healing in order to continue my journey! This has been very helpful.
The exercise of self forgiving with hands on my heart, after being judgmental in a relationship, made my heart melt and brought a few healing tears. This relationship is with my actual boyfriend; we are working on transforming our 23 years relationship, as our both children now adults recently left home: empty nest syndrome. I think we just need to destress, soften and just apreciate each other more just the way we are. Conclusion: moving down from head racing to manage parents challenges, to heart intelligence, and remember who we are.
Those tears felt sooooo good! Thanks!!!!
I have been practicing self compassion and meditation for over a year while I have been in recovery from various addictions. It has been a very difficult year. I have found spiritual hope on this journey but I also battle with shame and insecurity on a daily basis. Learning how to love and accept myself has become the ultimate goal. I hope to heal my own heart and be able to move forward in all of my relationships. My marriage has changed shape since I became sober and I am always looking for new ways to accept those changes. When I find myself stuck in deep self-loathing and self-pity, I hold my hand on my heart and imagine an older version of myself sitting next to me, cradling my head under her arm and whispering to me, “you will be okay, you will be okay.” It helps when I am really hurting. I never would have thought I’d find love right here, right inside of my own heart.
When I heard the words “It’s not your fault” I broke down and cried. Felt myself releasing the guilt, shame and pain. Compassion for myself filled me with gratitude and reminded me that I am a good person. Empathy, kindness and compassion thrive when we remember that we are all swimming and struggling together in this great cosmic ocean we call life.
When I learned to forgive myself, and see through the pains I went through, I realised that suffering is self inflicted. I then felt a deep sense of love, held myself in unconditional love with a deep knowing that I’m human and that has changed the way I relate to others with compassion. I now see others in myself and myself in others. True transformation is not one without pain but one who sees through it.
We are all doing the best that we can and everyone makes mistakes. Just like a child we are all learning. Self forgivness is very powerful. Thanks Tara
Wow. This is all new. I’ve never tried self-forgiveness. I’ve always found a way to sabotage all my relationships out of fear of revealing my true self.
Wonderful techniques, thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your very practical and insightful teaching
Finally realizing that my thoughts are not real
I think I would be more open and kind
Thank you Tara for these videos and most of all for the practical steps to take, in being mindful and compassionate towards ourselves in order to do that for others
Thank you for the clear presentation of difficult subjects. I would like to share these with a number of clients.
Excellent teachings. Thank you.
I am a mom, not a practitioner. If I can forgive myself for my bad interactions with my children I will be better able to interact with them going forward in a way that lets me see them and their feelings better, instead of being mired in my own shame and guilt; I can be present with them.
Thank you
Deep gratitude for your presence, and your immense gift for teaching, Tara. I have been reading/ listening to you one way or another,for decades from far away South Africa. I will certainly be recommending doing this course, and the practices to all of my own psychotherapy clients.
Namaste Mary Ann
There will be less suffering , self healing and intimacy or relationships will improve.
Now that I really feel better about myself, I am more able to feel what they were going through; without feeling so bad I can tell more compassionately that I feel sorry, so that they feel heard. (in stead of giving reasons for my reaction)
The idea ‘It’s not my fault’ seemed at first a get-out-of-jail free card, perhaps undeserved. But I am seeing now that only when I free myself from the pain of harsh judgement can I be open-hearted to others. Now to make it happen!
Thank you!
I realized that i have been protecting myself from feeling responsible for hurting someone I care about.
He was deeply hurt because of my feelings actions – I feel guilt and shame and I think I need to forgive myself for hurting him. Even if he dosent.
Forgiving myself help me to go forward with more open heartedness and vulnerability.
I realized that i have been protecting myself from feeling responsible for hurting my x feelings, by “knowing” i was “moraly rigth” to do things I did and feel what I did. But it still hurt him a lot. I dident feel loved, so I dident think he would be deeply hurt. I was wrong. A deep feeling of not beeing lovebel and longing for real connection led to actions that in the long run hurt my hole family.
He was deeply hurt because of my feelings actions – I feel guilt and shame and I think I need to forgive myself for hurting him. Even if he dosent.
Tara you have such a soothing voice! I feel relaxed just listening to you. These three teaching videos have been fabulous and very timely. Thank you so much for the opportunity to hear them.
Kathy Hardie-Williams M.Ed MS NCC LPC LMFT
It could help free them of their self judgment, which would in turn help them be more present with others. Coming from self-acceptance instead of self-judgment gives more room for a genuine heart connection with others. It could transform all of their relationships.
Less harsh on myself and more patient with others.
Thank you, Tara, for these really insightful videos.
they become more “real” with themselves and more present in their lives. it releases them and gives them more energy to actually live life.
Forgiving myself would release the relationship for expectations and release me from feeling like I need to fix everything, impress the other person or change how they feel about me.
I feel untrustworthy because I have hurt others. I have been trying to forgive myself, sometimes I feel I have, then it all comes flooding back.
This was fantastic as it offered practical steps.. too often as a hypnotherapist I diagnose and unvail what lies beneath but the person does not get a tool to do something about it .. the fact that self judgement doesn’t improve your behavior was a big one for me.. and the forgiveness and your your fault view is actually not getting off the hook but frees you to act in a way you seek. Great stuff and thank you for your generosity and sharing
This was fantastic as it offered practical steps.. too often I diagnose and unvail what lies beneath but the person does not get a tool to do something about it .. the fact that self judgement doesn’t improve your behavior was a big one for me.. and the forgiveness and your your fault view is actually not getting off the hook but frees you to act in a way you seek. Great stuff and thank you for your generosity and sharing
This is such a constructive and positive action to undertake…..Unitedand so freeing.
Thank you
Asking how does self-disgust and self-punishment help alleviate our pain is a great question to highlight how these emotions do not serve us.
The idea of dissolving the walls of pain and self hatred becomes the way to freedom becomes instinctive and intuitive is freeing, but first the pain must be seen and accepted. Thanks Tara, for giving us a doorway to peace, for ourselves and for others. With metta,
Iain
Thank you so much for these videos. They help me to connect to myself and be aware of my core beliefs of anger. I am practicing self-forgiveness and feeling calm.
IT will heal the relationship with himself and with the people around him.
Thank you Tara, very nice. It is very true that forgiveness for self and acceptance of self and belonging is the way forward.
When I learn to forgive myself, I find I can let go of all anger so I am genuinely kinder to the person I have hurt.
Tara I enjoy all of your talks I’ve been following you for years
I’m always left feeling more at peace with myself when I listen to you, Tara. Thank you.
H! I already posted a comment below but missed the meditation!
Thank you so much for these very informative and insightful videos!! I will definitely start putting these strategies into good use.
I had a hard forgiving myself and being kind to myself.
I found it so hard to let go of self judgement. Tara, with your practices i have… and you are so right, i now have more intimacy with others. Thank you a 100 times over.
Softened my anger against myself; allowing self forgiveness and healing. Offering freedom to the one I had hurt.
Softened my attitude toward the person and gave a sense of freeing and lightness.
I am No longer working as a Psycho social Rehab Counselor. My own issues arose and cause me to resign. I myself need more healing in order to continue my journey! This has been very helpful.
The exercise of self forgiving with hands on my heart, after being judgmental in a relationship, made my heart melt and brought a few healing tears. This relationship is with my actual boyfriend; we are working on transforming our 23 years relationship, as our both children now adults recently left home: empty nest syndrome. I think we just need to destress, soften and just apreciate each other more just the way we are. Conclusion: moving down from head racing to manage parents challenges, to heart intelligence, and remember who we are.
Those tears felt sooooo good! Thanks!!!!
I have been practicing self compassion and meditation for over a year while I have been in recovery from various addictions. It has been a very difficult year. I have found spiritual hope on this journey but I also battle with shame and insecurity on a daily basis. Learning how to love and accept myself has become the ultimate goal. I hope to heal my own heart and be able to move forward in all of my relationships. My marriage has changed shape since I became sober and I am always looking for new ways to accept those changes. When I find myself stuck in deep self-loathing and self-pity, I hold my hand on my heart and imagine an older version of myself sitting next to me, cradling my head under her arm and whispering to me, “you will be okay, you will be okay.” It helps when I am really hurting. I never would have thought I’d find love right here, right inside of my own heart.
When I heard the words “It’s not your fault” I broke down and cried. Felt myself releasing the guilt, shame and pain. Compassion for myself filled me with gratitude and reminded me that I am a good person. Empathy, kindness and compassion thrive when we remember that we are all swimming and struggling together in this great cosmic ocean we call life.
I look forward to using this approach with many of my clients. ??
I look forward to applying these lessons and activities in my work with clients! Thank you ??
When I learned to forgive myself, and see through the pains I went through, I realised that suffering is self inflicted. I then felt a deep sense of love, held myself in unconditional love with a deep knowing that I’m human and that has changed the way I relate to others with compassion. I now see others in myself and myself in others. True transformation is not one without pain but one who sees through it.
We are all doing the best that we can and everyone makes mistakes. Just like a child we are all learning. Self forgivness is very powerful. Thanks Tara
Wow. This is all new. I’ve never tried self-forgiveness. I’ve always found a way to sabotage all my relationships out of fear of revealing my true self.