The Steep Cost of an Unlived Life: How to Help Patients Who Struggle to Feel Alive After Trauma
with Bessel van der Kolk, MD; Judith Herman, MD; Janina Fisher, PhD; Pat Ogden, PhD; Usha Tummala-Narra, PhD; Eboni Webb, PsyD; Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD; Kathy Steele, MN, CS; Ellyn Bader, PhD; Megan Schmidt, PsyD; Ruth Buczynski, PhD
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Thank you for making this free, even if briefly so. If I could repay you, I would.
This last day of classes has helped me understand certain patterns in my own life. I have come so far and am so much more alive than I used to be, but there are still days when I will work until I hurt myself, and I didn’t know why until watching this class.
I work (usually gardening) almost desperately, with some deep hope that someone will notice and help me, but with no expectation of help arriving, and eventually I will hurt myself unintentionally and have to stop. I have crushed a disc in my back, broken ribs, broken my leg and ankle, many bruises and cuts… never with premeditated intention, and always with a sense of wonder that “what the heck, I’ve done it again.” And, having reached the point that I can no longer work (fight, flight) and the realization that once again no one is coming to my rescue, I will collapse into a mixture of despair and relief… relief that I am not to blame, I did my best and it was not enough, and despair… all these years, and still no one is coming to help me.
It sounds dramatic and ridiculous (although I am familiar enough with this loving group of therapists to be confident I am not despised) but I know for the child that went through so much terror over and over without a hero ever coming to her rescue, that now… finally, with the right tools and some compassionate awareness, I can be that hero for myself.
Thank you.
Validating, “You are alive”, having patient say, “I am alive”. This came after a recent car accident case. Client was blamed for damage to the car, yet her driving skills on a high-speed road, to bring the car to safety, after and the car malfunctioning, saved her life and the passenger.
take out – “and” before ‘the car”