Thank you Tara. I am still dealing with the loss of my husband 4 years ago, after a progressively debiltating illness. Also, I have just retired as a teacher and as school has just started up again –I am given the opportunity to really feel the loss of my career. The first week I felt relief and giddiness. This second week I am perplexed as to how I will make meaning of the rest of my life. I realize that again–I am mourning the loss of a part of me. And it hurts. I am learning to feel the sadness and loss, and also making the effort to maintain and grow my community. Which. as an introvert, isn’t easy. But if I don’t, I feel really lonely. Trying to pay attention and learning as I go.
In my pausing during this talk by Tara, I was able to feel a connection, a belonging, one that comes to me through nature. Lately in life it is very hard to feel this belonging and this feels especially painful because times in nature have been my greatest source of comfort and belonging, until very recently. The small connection that came to me (thanks Tara for saying even a small feeling is important and meaningful) has helped my heart feel more open, a little less heavy. Thank you.
I once heard that some people are simply born with a sense of loss. Whether that’s fact, or not, the statement resonates. Here I am approaching 74 and feeling that my years in retirement are being fruitfully used by looking over my shoulder in order to decipher the many losses along the way. A deep connection with nature, long walks, reading, and music help to keep me centered. Seeking connection with others who value calmness and life-long learning plays an important supporting role. These videos on grief are full of richness and wisdom. Thank you so much, Tara!
Vicki Dufton, Another Field, PETALUMA, CA, USAsays
Thank you, Tara for your great insight, experience and knowledge.
I lost my 42-year old daughter over 11 years ago, and not a minute goes by without me thinking of her, missing her, and sharing with her. She left a 7-year old boy, and I am dedicated to him, and attempting to guide him well. Her son, and my daily practice of yoga has seen me through this very deep loss.
I cannot explain why, but since my dear daughter’s death, I have become a better person, a nicer person, a person who truly cares about others, and my gratitude is overwhelming. I truly feel that she is continuing to guide me, and is showing me the true meaning of life and living.
I walk. I walk in the woods or at the beach or the march. I absorb the beauty and the truth of it all. It’s sometimes makes my issues feel small by comparison. but it doesn’t erase the struggle. instead, it makes my pain more tolerable, manageable and I experience a different perspective.
Naming the grief and the feelings allowing them to be inside of me until it is too much and then asking them to sit beside me.
I’ve been afraid that if I let myself feel it all, I will not be able to recover myself.
Thank you Tara for reminding me that I am in charge.
Thank you Tara. Such wonderful insight and guidance. Your guidance toward our Sacred Refuge and Sacred Belonging is deeply rich…
With Gratitude,
Kathy Ginn
Wisconsin.
Body centered Grief Companion
End of Life Doula
Nature has been my guide through hard times and through loss, witnessing how she can be a partner in this and how her different life cycles are similar to mine has helped me to feel not so alone. My partner with me true with clients, creating alters and meditations related to loss and renewal.
My personal grief is over being diagnosed with Parkinson’s recently, as well as struggling 30 years with bipolar II disorder and anxiety.
From your presentation, I’m trying to find and feel spiritual refuge because I am grieving a lot and am too self-absorbed. Much suffering.
Connecting with breath, with nature, with an animal-feeling the bigger of everything outside of me, knowing that it moves around and through and provides beautiful containment as I move around and through.
Thank you so much!
I work with loss quite a bit in my practice, and I think that this will be helpful in how to articulate calling in the resource of spirituality. Thank you!
When I hike in nature or along the beach with the sound of running water and our sun sparkles through. Nature is very soothing to me. But also, as a Quaker, when others are holding me tenderly in the Light, I feel so honored and my feelings of sadness or need for healing feels affirmed and guided. I too, hold others in the Light of grace and healing energy. I appreciate you, Tara, and thankful for offering your gifts. overall gratitude and recognition for life’s best blessings is healing in itself. Namaste.
Finding a community has been so helpful on my journey. Working with a spiritual healer and doing energy work has been so enlightening. Listening to your meditations keeps me going as well. Thank you.
I have discovered that I blame myself for my losses, my shortcomings, my so-called failures. Now I realize what a heavy, almost insupportable burden of guilt and shame I have carried, even since childhood. Some part of my meditation every day will need to be given over to allowing myself to gently and compassionately be held and healed from this. Thank you, Tara.
Recently retired to the mountains and find the need to sit on the deck, in the fresh air, slight breeze and ever changing cloud formations to remind me to pause and let the feelings of loss and change of identify swirl as they need to, rather than push them away. Today’s reflection was an affirmation of that practice. Thank you.
We lost our beloved mother, in a way unexpectedly, just six weeks after her wedding (she was almost 85, and he is 89!). Your words have resonated, and are not only helpful for me, but will be useful in sessions with my grieving clients. THANK YOU!
Blessed Be to call in the spaciousness, with the light of Jesus and Quan Yin. . To open, even a tiny bit at a time, the space that feels so condensed. Tears flow as I begin to let tiny tidbits open into the space.
Since it’s been condensed for so very long, I’m grateful for every tiny opening. I will come back to this space again and again.
Thank you, dear Tara.
this reminds me of the Human Needs Pyramid which helps me see that without Love and Belonging it is very difficult to reach for higher levels of personal or community development
Walking in nature has always helped me release any angst, grief or anxiety I may be suffering. I imagine myself being surrounded by angels, birds, and a vast sea of love and peace.
The one who always held me during times of grief is the one I have recently lost and just do not know how to move forward, to open myself to being held in this overwhelming time of grief.
Cynthia Baker, Psychology, Newport Beach , CA, USAsays
Thank you, Tara, for these great reminders for us and for our clients, to turn inward to find the connection to ourselves, each other and the universe. Grateful to you.
Thank you Tara, for such inspiring words. I live in the country and nature is my main source of solace. On the community level I formed a women’s compassion circle where we share our griefs about the injustices of others, our personal sufferings and perhaps our friends and families. It gives us a chance to be heard and acknowledged. We meditate together and end holding hands, looking at each other, feeling renewed with a beautiful sense of caring.
The healing power of nature has always carried me through. I loved the gentle reminder that even when I am not in nature, nature is still with me for I am nature. Blessings, Sandy
Many, many years ago, during a dark time, I read Albert Camus’ quote “In the midst of winter I learned there was in me an invincible summer.” I have found my summer during each loss and tragedy, large and small, through love – of family, friends, and the earth and its creatures. I know I belong and when I am in deep sorrow, I have learned to turn to love and to the wisdom of wise teachers. Thank you for the gift of your experience and kind, loving teachings.
Thank you Tara for your talks. My friends, and my dogs help me feel held. When the hard times are too much, I envision myself being comforted by god who truly knows me and my struggles without judgment and offers the presence of a loving parent.
Thank you Tara. You are always calming and inspiring. I find this connection most sitting outside in the country watching and listening to the sounds surrounding me. But I can also feel the connection out on the back porch. I’ll share your wisdom with others. One can be so stuck in grief and need something extra, like this, to move forward
belle Zembrodt, Counseling, Covington, KY, USAsays
Feelings are not all there is in any experience. They help us understand what we are experiencing in the moment. All of our individual experiences are parts of our journey. Our journey is part of the journey of everyone on the planet as our actions affect others and that ripple extends outwards.
Gena Rotas, Psychotherapy, East longmeadow, MA, USAsays
The simple awareness of not being alone can lighten the grief and sadness that loss sets in motion. We tend to forget that it is the dream of what could have been that demands our attention and fuels the grief. Everything is always changing and being kind to ourselves and the feelings of sadness is a solid beginning to help us keep breathing and moving towards peace. Heartfelt gratitude for you brilliant wisdom!
After listening I reread this description on my website and softly noticed how my language is integrating truths. — Ten years ago, a breast cancer diagnosis confronted me with profound vulnerability. In that place of brokenness, felt experiences and memory began to surface. Childhood trauma reawakened, grief and loss moved through me, and with them came a pathway toward clarity, growth, and love.
Feeling emotions was punished or ignored in our family. I felt deeply and had no understanding on how to process or sit with the feelings. I armored my heart. I realize now grief has been a constant in my life. Slowly by paying attention, acknowledging my feelings, I’m more able sit with and be open to them while living my life. I still use distraction and numbing more often than I would like. Although, the more I practice meditation or spend time in nature, the old protection strategies seem more like a prison. Thank you for helping me become more aware of how to have a grounded open heart.
Thank you , Tara i wonder how to meet the loss with loving kindness after enduring years of being addicted to a substance and suffering repetitive attempts to end my life and many ovations in a mental health system that did not have appropriate responses to my grief rather the system retraumatized me again and again. I have had the inner resources to not only reclaim , reconnect repair , recover and now offer my strength and wisdom to others . My early developmental insecure attachment suffering created the conditions for using substances to survive . My seeking knowledge came from similar brain and nervous system changes and my wisdom from all my learning saved my life. I now have your words on my logo: the gift of healing the woundedness of trauma is it becomes a gateway for healing, freedom and love ❤️ I feel blessed to have had the resilience to be here now.
Deb Murphy, Health Education, Cockeysville, MD, USAsays
This has helped give me hope for healing from accumulated loss of physical function from a stroke & retirement from my career & my dear mothers death.
Thank you.
Patty Stephens, Other, Saint Augustine, FL, USAsays
Quiet mornings while having coffee on my porch watching the birds or walking my pup on a windy day gives me a sense of belonging. I feel held by something larger than myself at these times
There have been a multitude of losses (both big and little deaths) and my modes of dealing with grief are denial and distraction. Learning to sit with my feelings with self compassion does not come easily but I see it’s necessity. Thank you for your teachings.
In my family, grief was not discussed; it was an individual experience. I think there was no realization of the possible resources — internal and external that could support staying connected to the losses we faced.
Stephanie McGovern, Coach, Eden Prairie, MN, USAsays
I was taught to deal with grief by shutting down and pretending it wasn’t there. After a series of losses, the grief has been overwhelming. This has shown me the power of gentle, loving attention and care and it is always available. I feel my heart opening and love flowing again reminding me “simple can be powerful.” Thank you.
I feel held in my time of grief in stillness, in the early morning hours, watching a sunrise, or witnessing the sunset at the close of the day. My dad recently passed, and during his last days and now into the days of his absence, I feel held and love in these moments, and the stillness allows me to sit with the grief and also with the beauty of the memories of my dad.
What makes me feel held in hard times is in part listening to your talks and those of other wise meditators and healers. I am a very accomplished woman who lives with great anxiety. I have found both therapy and the wisdom of talks like yours, and always struggling through the hard times with knowledge and compassion (when I can do this with some sense of calm—which is not always) or at least with a glimmer of self compassion, I can make it through. I have to remember the lessons, which is hard for me to do because my memory is a big challenge to me at 81 years old! NS
This resonates and inspires! Thanks to you and to Tara, for sharing and allowing me to find similar connection to practices of intention, care, and calling myself to belonging in the face of grief and loss (I am only 58 but already I am experiencing so much of this).
Thank you Tara. I am still dealing with the loss of my husband 4 years ago, after a progressively debiltating illness. Also, I have just retired as a teacher and as school has just started up again –I am given the opportunity to really feel the loss of my career. The first week I felt relief and giddiness. This second week I am perplexed as to how I will make meaning of the rest of my life. I realize that again–I am mourning the loss of a part of me. And it hurts. I am learning to feel the sadness and loss, and also making the effort to maintain and grow my community. Which. as an introvert, isn’t easy. But if I don’t, I feel really lonely. Trying to pay attention and learning as I go.
your language is so healing and so beautifully encapsulates the role of spirituality in life and in loss
In my pausing during this talk by Tara, I was able to feel a connection, a belonging, one that comes to me through nature. Lately in life it is very hard to feel this belonging and this feels especially painful because times in nature have been my greatest source of comfort and belonging, until very recently. The small connection that came to me (thanks Tara for saying even a small feeling is important and meaningful) has helped my heart feel more open, a little less heavy. Thank you.
I once heard that some people are simply born with a sense of loss. Whether that’s fact, or not, the statement resonates. Here I am approaching 74 and feeling that my years in retirement are being fruitfully used by looking over my shoulder in order to decipher the many losses along the way. A deep connection with nature, long walks, reading, and music help to keep me centered. Seeking connection with others who value calmness and life-long learning plays an important supporting role. These videos on grief are full of richness and wisdom. Thank you so much, Tara!
Thank you, Tara for your great insight, experience and knowledge.
I lost my 42-year old daughter over 11 years ago, and not a minute goes by without me thinking of her, missing her, and sharing with her. She left a 7-year old boy, and I am dedicated to him, and attempting to guide him well. Her son, and my daily practice of yoga has seen me through this very deep loss.
I cannot explain why, but since my dear daughter’s death, I have become a better person, a nicer person, a person who truly cares about others, and my gratitude is overwhelming. I truly feel that she is continuing to guide me, and is showing me the true meaning of life and living.
I walk. I walk in the woods or at the beach or the march. I absorb the beauty and the truth of it all. It’s sometimes makes my issues feel small by comparison. but it doesn’t erase the struggle. instead, it makes my pain more tolerable, manageable and I experience a different perspective.
when elephants grieve they link trunks and
so it was with me
Naming the grief and the feelings allowing them to be inside of me until it is too much and then asking them to sit beside me.
I’ve been afraid that if I let myself feel it all, I will not be able to recover myself.
Thank you Tara for reminding me that I am in charge.
Thank you Tara. Such wonderful insight and guidance. Your guidance toward our Sacred Refuge and Sacred Belonging is deeply rich…
With Gratitude,
Kathy Ginn
Wisconsin.
Body centered Grief Companion
End of Life Doula
Nature has been my guide through hard times and through loss, witnessing how she can be a partner in this and how her different life cycles are similar to mine has helped me to feel not so alone. My partner with me true with clients, creating alters and meditations related to loss and renewal.
Thank you,Tara. Such wonderful insights that I know I will call upon on my journey in this life.
Gratefully,
Bill Crawford
My personal grief is over being diagnosed with Parkinson’s recently, as well as struggling 30 years with bipolar II disorder and anxiety.
From your presentation, I’m trying to find and feel spiritual refuge because I am grieving a lot and am too self-absorbed. Much suffering.
Thank you and blessings to all
Connecting with breath, with nature, with an animal-feeling the bigger of everything outside of me, knowing that it moves around and through and provides beautiful containment as I move around and through.
Thank you so much!
I work with loss quite a bit in my practice, and I think that this will be helpful in how to articulate calling in the resource of spirituality. Thank you!
I will be practicing the loving, nurturing statements with my grieving parts.
When I hike in nature or along the beach with the sound of running water and our sun sparkles through. Nature is very soothing to me. But also, as a Quaker, when others are holding me tenderly in the Light, I feel so honored and my feelings of sadness or need for healing feels affirmed and guided. I too, hold others in the Light of grace and healing energy. I appreciate you, Tara, and thankful for offering your gifts. overall gratitude and recognition for life’s best blessings is healing in itself. Namaste.
Any kind of Flowing Water…listening to the sounds as I lay on this Precious Earth!
(GRATITUDE! I look forward to your Handout.)
Finding a community has been so helpful on my journey. Working with a spiritual healer and doing energy work has been so enlightening. Listening to your meditations keeps me going as well. Thank you.
Tara flows with loving kindness and gentle presence……she opens the heart…..which is what clients need when shut down.
Thank you!
I have discovered that I blame myself for my losses, my shortcomings, my so-called failures. Now I realize what a heavy, almost insupportable burden of guilt and shame I have carried, even since childhood. Some part of my meditation every day will need to be given over to allowing myself to gently and compassionately be held and healed from this. Thank you, Tara.
Recently retired to the mountains and find the need to sit on the deck, in the fresh air, slight breeze and ever changing cloud formations to remind me to pause and let the feelings of loss and change of identify swirl as they need to, rather than push them away. Today’s reflection was an affirmation of that practice. Thank you.
We lost our beloved mother, in a way unexpectedly, just six weeks after her wedding (she was almost 85, and he is 89!). Your words have resonated, and are not only helpful for me, but will be useful in sessions with my grieving clients. THANK YOU!
The remembrance of the truth you shared and feeling connected to that ever present reality. Thank you Tara!❤️
Blessed Be to call in the spaciousness, with the light of Jesus and Quan Yin. . To open, even a tiny bit at a time, the space that feels so condensed. Tears flow as I begin to let tiny tidbits open into the space.
Since it’s been condensed for so very long, I’m grateful for every tiny opening. I will come back to this space again and again.
Thank you, dear Tara.
this reminds me of the Human Needs Pyramid which helps me see that without Love and Belonging it is very difficult to reach for higher levels of personal or community development
Walking in nature has always helped me release any angst, grief or anxiety I may be suffering. I imagine myself being surrounded by angels, birds, and a vast sea of love and peace.
The one who always held me during times of grief is the one I have recently lost and just do not know how to move forward, to open myself to being held in this overwhelming time of grief.
Reminding myself that I need to slow down and not take things personally. That my loved one is facing a challenge also and cannot cope.
Thank you, Tara, for these great reminders for us and for our clients, to turn inward to find the connection to ourselves, each other and the universe. Grateful to you.
Thank you Tara, for such inspiring words. I live in the country and nature is my main source of solace. On the community level I formed a women’s compassion circle where we share our griefs about the injustices of others, our personal sufferings and perhaps our friends and families. It gives us a chance to be heard and acknowledged. We meditate together and end holding hands, looking at each other, feeling renewed with a beautiful sense of caring.
The compassion of the Dalai Lama who has himself endured so much loss
The healing power of nature has always carried me through. I loved the gentle reminder that even when I am not in nature, nature is still with me for I am nature. Blessings, Sandy
Many, many years ago, during a dark time, I read Albert Camus’ quote “In the midst of winter I learned there was in me an invincible summer.” I have found my summer during each loss and tragedy, large and small, through love – of family, friends, and the earth and its creatures. I know I belong and when I am in deep sorrow, I have learned to turn to love and to the wisdom of wise teachers. Thank you for the gift of your experience and kind, loving teachings.
Thank you for these gentle thoughts. I find walking in nature and listening to birdsong connects me with the mystery and calms my grief.
Thank you Tara for your talks. My friends, and my dogs help me feel held. When the hard times are too much, I envision myself being comforted by god who truly knows me and my struggles without judgment and offers the presence of a loving parent.
Thank you Tara. You are always calming and inspiring. I find this connection most sitting outside in the country watching and listening to the sounds surrounding me. But I can also feel the connection out on the back porch. I’ll share your wisdom with others. One can be so stuck in grief and need something extra, like this, to move forward
Family & friends bring love and companionship and remind me of the love of those I have lost
Feelings are not all there is in any experience. They help us understand what we are experiencing in the moment. All of our individual experiences are parts of our journey. Our journey is part of the journey of everyone on the planet as our actions affect others and that ripple extends outwards.
The simple awareness of not being alone can lighten the grief and sadness that loss sets in motion. We tend to forget that it is the dream of what could have been that demands our attention and fuels the grief. Everything is always changing and being kind to ourselves and the feelings of sadness is a solid beginning to help us keep breathing and moving towards peace. Heartfelt gratitude for you brilliant wisdom!
After listening I reread this description on my website and softly noticed how my language is integrating truths. — Ten years ago, a breast cancer diagnosis confronted me with profound vulnerability. In that place of brokenness, felt experiences and memory began to surface. Childhood trauma reawakened, grief and loss moved through me, and with them came a pathway toward clarity, growth, and love.
Feeling emotions was punished or ignored in our family. I felt deeply and had no understanding on how to process or sit with the feelings. I armored my heart. I realize now grief has been a constant in my life. Slowly by paying attention, acknowledging my feelings, I’m more able sit with and be open to them while living my life. I still use distraction and numbing more often than I would like. Although, the more I practice meditation or spend time in nature, the old protection strategies seem more like a prison. Thank you for helping me become more aware of how to have a grounded open heart.
Christine, your comments really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing.
Opening to the love that does not die is like stepping through a portal to peace.
Thank you , Tara i wonder how to meet the loss with loving kindness after enduring years of being addicted to a substance and suffering repetitive attempts to end my life and many ovations in a mental health system that did not have appropriate responses to my grief rather the system retraumatized me again and again. I have had the inner resources to not only reclaim , reconnect repair , recover and now offer my strength and wisdom to others . My early developmental insecure attachment suffering created the conditions for using substances to survive . My seeking knowledge came from similar brain and nervous system changes and my wisdom from all my learning saved my life. I now have your words on my logo: the gift of healing the woundedness of trauma is it becomes a gateway for healing, freedom and love ❤️ I feel blessed to have had the resilience to be here now.
This has helped give me hope for healing from accumulated loss of physical function from a stroke & retirement from my career & my dear mothers death.
Thank you.
Quiet mornings while having coffee on my porch watching the birds or walking my pup on a windy day gives me a sense of belonging. I feel held by something larger than myself at these times
There have been a multitude of losses (both big and little deaths) and my modes of dealing with grief are denial and distraction. Learning to sit with my feelings with self compassion does not come easily but I see it’s necessity. Thank you for your teachings.
In my family, grief was not discussed; it was an individual experience. I think there was no realization of the possible resources — internal and external that could support staying connected to the losses we faced.
I was taught to deal with grief by shutting down and pretending it wasn’t there. After a series of losses, the grief has been overwhelming. This has shown me the power of gentle, loving attention and care and it is always available. I feel my heart opening and love flowing again reminding me “simple can be powerful.” Thank you.
I feel held in my time of grief in stillness, in the early morning hours, watching a sunrise, or witnessing the sunset at the close of the day. My dad recently passed, and during his last days and now into the days of his absence, I feel held and love in these moments, and the stillness allows me to sit with the grief and also with the beauty of the memories of my dad.
Breathe – feel life. breath of wind, rustling of leaves, the beautiful quieting noise of nature.
What makes me feel held in hard times is in part listening to your talks and those of other wise meditators and healers. I am a very accomplished woman who lives with great anxiety. I have found both therapy and the wisdom of talks like yours, and always struggling through the hard times with knowledge and compassion (when I can do this with some sense of calm—which is not always) or at least with a glimmer of self compassion, I can make it through. I have to remember the lessons, which is hard for me to do because my memory is a big challenge to me at 81 years old! NS
This resonates and inspires! Thanks to you and to Tara, for sharing and allowing me to find similar connection to practices of intention, care, and calling myself to belonging in the face of grief and loss (I am only 58 but already I am experiencing so much of this).