Thank you Tara for taking us through this journey, to guide us, to get in touch with our feelings, to care for our parts that we judge and blame and to hold them with love and kindness. I particularly found the suggestion of “U turn”, “getting to the heart space” and the metaphor of “the waves belonging to the ocean” deeply connecting and relieving. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Simple is not easy!
I appreciate the practice of being aware of what is going on in my home, in term of thoughts or emotions or … and self blame/ blame others.
An important way to work on what I have control on, ME, about noticing my our own vulnerability and deciding to stop self blame/ blame and deciding to be kind or at least kinder to self/ others . WOW!
Thank you Tara
Well, I would healthier in my mind, body and soul. I be my balanced less driven. I would be even more of a source of support to my loved ones and a better example.
I felt a lightness, and tingless, unexpectedly. my body has been feeling so tense and rigid. is something I will return to, as I have challenges with letting go hurt and blame from early childhood wounds from my parents. so I very much resonated with the example about the student trying to learn to make the U-turn.
thank you for this opportunity to make this practice financially accessible.
Catherine Mendoza, Counseling, Woodstock, VA, USAsays
My husband and I are getting together with his two sisters, one brother and their spouses for a week. I find myself being resistant and dreading this time together because I feel left out. I will just use the idea of looking to where another person’s foot may be caught in a trap and they are by I will have more compassion for my sisters in law. Even more important though is for me to look at my part in this mismatch. In attachment terms, I tend to be a withdrawer. I will use the head, heart, heart space technique, as well as probably most of the others to glad in my spirit, and to return my heart mind and spirit to factory condition. I will joyfully join in with the others. These talks are giving me a structure with in which to organize, my plan to be led by loving kindness.
Gisele Goetsch, Social Work, Burlington, VT, USAsays
It is a powerful practice. Thank you. 🙏🏽
I used myself. Felt my sadness and my hurt from the hurt and blame I constantly give myself.
Again the spaciousness in the aftermath is amazing.
I looked at the blame I feel when my wife reacts and rejects your teachings when I bring it to her to suggest she try it. Mais elle ressent seulement qu’elle doit passer à l’action sous son self blame.
It felt good to be able to bring the attention to your own healing first about any blame or resentment before focusing on the other person who it is aimed at. I really love the analogy of the wounded dog/wolf as a way of helping clients to see the vulnerability in others and bring compassion to the heart. Thank you this is a really informative short workshop 🙏🏽😊
I was able to look at someone who hurt me, who betrayed me and negated our friendship to save himself. I haven’t spoken to him in 6 years. Tara, after this video, I see him as wounded like most of us and unable to stand up with integrity. I will meditate more and consider contacting him to express my feelings about the incident.
Thank you.
ray
I’ve been already practicing to let go of judgement and chronic blame for about a year. I’ve become more loving, compassionate and forgiving of myself and of others. I feel more free. I am also more connected to my wholeness and Essence within me. I am truly experiencing unconditional love. I can testify that this process works.
I am a kind compassionate person to others. I could be that person for myself. It would make me open in an entirely different way. Authentically moving through life and not stopping & starting 2nd guessing myself according to my perception of others expectations of me.
Yes for me it’s been a vicious circle, I blame others for seeming to judge me because of what I perceive they’ve heard 2nd hand from others and the whole dynamic shuts down.I suppose if could sense the hurt in them I could lighten up and keep the dialog going.
This practice placed a person in my view that I thought would be difficult for me to forgive but I realise the other person was suffering so much and needed my compassion. I realised that there others that I need to use the u turn with.
I felt very emotional. The father and son could have been myself and my mother. I felt her wounding as a child.
I am starting to try to get rid of blame.
Letting in more kindness, feelings and understanding.
I pushed my mom away from me most of my life because I couldn’t trust how she would show up for me. Now , at 97, she is in an assisted living facility and live nearby so I can support her as she deals with loss of her memory and use of her body. I am practicing making the u-turn and jetting go of my story of blame so I can see myself and my mother more clearly. You prácticas offer a wonderful foundation for opening to these deep seated wounds. Thank you for sharing your loving wisdom.
Susan Raynor, Another Field, Washington, DC, USAsays
Maybe the U turn could be a useful way of dealing with my ever present critical voice. I realize now that the perfectionism with which I judge myself and others has its roots in my mother’s own perfectionist tendencies. I have distinct memories of not being “enough” somehow. This has led me to view myself and others with relentless criticism — to the point where I want to avoid all social connections because either I, or whoever I am with, will fall short somehow.
Trough this exercise, I felt compassion for myself and the other person and it felt wonderfully warm and soft inside. It’s so much better than what I felt before.
I was surprised, when I concentrated on how my mother has hurt me with her past behaviour. It allowed me to focus on how she may have been hurt in the past and how that affected how she has treated me. I have hope that with this practice, over time I may be able to stop being so angry with her. Thank you
Wow, this short journey has been very powerful for me. I see how my self-judgement and blaming has closed my heart. I am ready to learn new ways of being and loving.
The U Turn practice was helpful to a point. But the feelings become overwhelming or a kind of redundant recycling of feelings rather than freeing experiences. But, the fresh kindness of being with what’s there initially felt wonderful.
Kirsten Kempfer, Teacher, Porterville, CA, USAsays
I’ve written down Some of her suggestions already. I’m going to put them on a word board that I see every day. It will remind me to practice that every day.
– make a U turn
-Get out of blame and try compassion.
I am going to do this every day. Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with an event that happened to me. I’ve been blaming one person for my treatment and I didn’t want to. I feel a tremendous weight has lifted from me. I’m going to look at your other videos now.
This was heartfelt for me.
I couldn’t hold back the tears. It was a deep release especially as I held myself and whispered ‘this belongs, it’s ok to feel this’ with all the kindness I could muster. Thank you Tara for the work you do.
comfortable with others at almost all times
allow myself unfiltered interactions with others
no longer re-run conversations, events, relationships focusing on the wrong
It was hard for me. I felt sad at the beginning, and after the U-turn I couldn’t see through my own vulnerability. But then I just started to really think about the other person with more kindness, and even if I couldn’t really do it, I started to see how it could be possible. Thank you.
Wow, I felt so emotional. Tears in my eyes. Felt vulnerable opening up to giving myself compassion. Who I would be if I let go of self-blame….. A more compassionate person towards myself, more loving, more kind to me. I realize with this practice that I need to practice more love towards myself and take better care of myself first. Thank you, Tara. This is very helpful. I can be a better me with more compassion
Thank you Tara for this powerful realisation practice
In answer to the question…
who would I be if I let go of chronic blame and self judgement?
my loving, compassionate and kind self
I shall try to put this into practice
Thank you for this. It’s so calming to do the U-turn. I’ve been holding onto resentment and anger after a break up. This was very helpful in seeing past that. I can se how this would need practice. 🙂
Thank you Tara for taking us through this journey, to guide us, to get in touch with our feelings, to care for our parts that we judge and blame and to hold them with love and kindness. I particularly found the suggestion of “U turn”, “getting to the heart space” and the metaphor of “the waves belonging to the ocean” deeply connecting and relieving. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My life would be without fear.Connect to my true self and know that I were born for this. I can spend my days feeling joy from within.
Simple is not easy!
I appreciate the practice of being aware of what is going on in my home, in term of thoughts or emotions or … and self blame/ blame others.
An important way to work on what I have control on, ME, about noticing my our own vulnerability and deciding to stop self blame/ blame and deciding to be kind or at least kinder to self/ others . WOW!
Thank you Tara
Very helpful. I’m learning to let go of the storyline and focus on sc but this was a great guide to deepen that.
Well, I would healthier in my mind, body and soul. I be my balanced less driven. I would be even more of a source of support to my loved ones and a better example.
I felt a lightness, and tingless, unexpectedly. my body has been feeling so tense and rigid. is something I will return to, as I have challenges with letting go hurt and blame from early childhood wounds from my parents. so I very much resonated with the example about the student trying to learn to make the U-turn.
thank you for this opportunity to make this practice financially accessible.
As usual Tara gives us very valuable insight
Practice practice practice is what is needed for this to truly work… And we have to be ready to open our hearts to do that practice
My husband and I are getting together with his two sisters, one brother and their spouses for a week. I find myself being resistant and dreading this time together because I feel left out. I will just use the idea of looking to where another person’s foot may be caught in a trap and they are by I will have more compassion for my sisters in law. Even more important though is for me to look at my part in this mismatch. In attachment terms, I tend to be a withdrawer. I will use the head, heart, heart space technique, as well as probably most of the others to glad in my spirit, and to return my heart mind and spirit to factory condition. I will joyfully join in with the others. These talks are giving me a structure with in which to organize, my plan to be led by loving kindness.
I would be a more joyful creatine person if I were to free myself of self-judgement and blame.
Thank you Tara for your guidance.
It is a powerful practice. Thank you. 🙏🏽
I used myself. Felt my sadness and my hurt from the hurt and blame I constantly give myself.
Again the spaciousness in the aftermath is amazing.
I looked at the blame I feel when my wife reacts and rejects your teachings when I bring it to her to suggest she try it. Mais elle ressent seulement qu’elle doit passer à l’action sous son self blame.
It felt good to be able to bring the attention to your own healing first about any blame or resentment before focusing on the other person who it is aimed at. I really love the analogy of the wounded dog/wolf as a way of helping clients to see the vulnerability in others and bring compassion to the heart. Thank you this is a really informative short workshop 🙏🏽😊
I was able to look at someone who hurt me, who betrayed me and negated our friendship to save himself. I haven’t spoken to him in 6 years. Tara, after this video, I see him as wounded like most of us and unable to stand up with integrity. I will meditate more and consider contacting him to express my feelings about the incident.
Thank you.
ray
I would be whole.
thanks Tara.
I’ve been already practicing to let go of judgement and chronic blame for about a year. I’ve become more loving, compassionate and forgiving of myself and of others. I feel more free. I am also more connected to my wholeness and Essence within me. I am truly experiencing unconditional love. I can testify that this process works.
Amazing. thank you.
belonging
I will be free to be and feel like the ocean I am. I will be able to be in contact with my loving essence!
Thanks again Tara
I am a kind compassionate person to others. I could be that person for myself. It would make me open in an entirely different way. Authentically moving through life and not stopping & starting 2nd guessing myself according to my perception of others expectations of me.
Realising blame is a sign I need to love myself and others with compassion is really helpful
Myself 🩷 My true Self 🩷
I’m happy you did this for practitioners; thank you.
Yes for me it’s been a vicious circle, I blame others for seeming to judge me because of what I perceive they’ve heard 2nd hand from others and the whole dynamic shuts down.I suppose if could sense the hurt in them I could lighten up and keep the dialog going.
This practice placed a person in my view that I thought would be difficult for me to forgive but I realise the other person was suffering so much and needed my compassion. I realised that there others that I need to use the u turn with.
I felt very emotional. The father and son could have been myself and my mother. I felt her wounding as a child.
I am starting to try to get rid of blame.
Letting in more kindness, feelings and understanding.
I pushed my mom away from me most of my life because I couldn’t trust how she would show up for me. Now , at 97, she is in an assisted living facility and live nearby so I can support her as she deals with loss of her memory and use of her body. I am practicing making the u-turn and jetting go of my story of blame so I can see myself and my mother more clearly. You prácticas offer a wonderful foundation for opening to these deep seated wounds. Thank you for sharing your loving wisdom.
Maybe the U turn could be a useful way of dealing with my ever present critical voice. I realize now that the perfectionism with which I judge myself and others has its roots in my mother’s own perfectionist tendencies. I have distinct memories of not being “enough” somehow. This has led me to view myself and others with relentless criticism — to the point where I want to avoid all social connections because either I, or whoever I am with, will fall short somehow.
Trough this exercise, I felt compassion for myself and the other person and it felt wonderfully warm and soft inside. It’s so much better than what I felt before.
I was surprised, when I concentrated on how my mother has hurt me with her past behaviour. It allowed me to focus on how she may have been hurt in the past and how that affected how she has treated me. I have hope that with this practice, over time I may be able to stop being so angry with her. Thank you
I can feel this.
Wow, this short journey has been very powerful for me. I see how my self-judgement and blaming has closed my heart. I am ready to learn new ways of being and loving.
The U Turn practice was helpful to a point. But the feelings become overwhelming or a kind of redundant recycling of feelings rather than freeing experiences. But, the fresh kindness of being with what’s there initially felt wonderful.
I don’t know
I’m just crying now.
I might feel.. integrated
I’ve written down Some of her suggestions already. I’m going to put them on a word board that I see every day. It will remind me to practice that every day.
– make a U turn
-Get out of blame and try compassion.
I am going to do this every day. Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with an event that happened to me. I’ve been blaming one person for my treatment and I didn’t want to. I feel a tremendous weight has lifted from me. I’m going to look at your other videos now.
This was heartfelt for me.
I couldn’t hold back the tears. It was a deep release especially as I held myself and whispered ‘this belongs, it’s ok to feel this’ with all the kindness I could muster. Thank you Tara for the work you do.
I would feel safe to be my authentic self. I would feel free to becoming the person I always want to be. I would feel happier and carefree.
comfortable with others at almost all times
allow myself unfiltered interactions with others
no longer re-run conversations, events, relationships focusing on the wrong
It was hard for me. I felt sad at the beginning, and after the U-turn I couldn’t see through my own vulnerability. But then I just started to really think about the other person with more kindness, and even if I couldn’t really do it, I started to see how it could be possible. Thank you.
Wow, I felt so emotional. Tears in my eyes. Felt vulnerable opening up to giving myself compassion. Who I would be if I let go of self-blame….. A more compassionate person towards myself, more loving, more kind to me. I realize with this practice that I need to practice more love towards myself and take better care of myself first. Thank you, Tara. This is very helpful. I can be a better me with more compassion
Thank you Tara for this powerful realisation practice
In answer to the question…
who would I be if I let go of chronic blame and self judgement?
my loving, compassionate and kind self
I shall try to put this into practice
uturn is a very useful phrase for me
I could be me. Without all the armor, anger resentment and protection that distances myself from other people.
Probably I could become the person I always wanted to be …
Thank you for these helpful thoughts.
This was very helpful and I like the image of the Uturn to do the self compassion and thus then holding it for the offender.
a free, compassionate, open minded person with an open heart
Thank you for this. It’s so calming to do the U-turn. I’ve been holding onto resentment and anger after a break up. This was very helpful in seeing past that. I can se how this would need practice. 🙂