I recognised that the feelings are blocks to allowing myself to connect with my core vibration. I’m not able to resonate in the right frequency. but by allowing the feelings to exist and recognising that there is energy in these “blockages” that can be released so, instead of causing resistance, they can power my journey. they’re my inner energy sources that I need. so instead of pushing them away I can harness them and honour the suffering by seeing and celebrating the beauty of it.
A sharp and surprising pang of… awareness? curiosity, a lightening of the burdens I seem to be carrying. I’ve been, I guess, gaslighting myself for way too long and also an awareness of noting and releasing. Tara’s question about quality of presence is something that does indeed bring up the very same feelings she’s mentioned. that story she tells about going hiking really hit home — that Inner Critic can be a *beast*…
I have written Tara’s quote “Please be kind” on a sticky note and stuck it in a corner of my bedroom mirror where I can see it every day.
It provided a momentary respite, a feeling of peace and acceptance, from chronic self-hatred, loathing, and fear resulting from lifelong addictive behaviors. There was a realization that this approach might be worth trying to be a little gentler and kinder to myself.
I am struggling with a deep fear of how others particularly in business services are not to be trusted. What am I to do? I offer kindness to this sadness and resentment
Thank you Tara, m’y english in writting is not to good but m’y understanding is very good. I thank you very Much to be in m’y Life in som Way. I love the way you think . It make me gro up more sperituality. Thank You
A deep sarrow,our plants and animals are in an extinction event, our climate is being so distorted that it has become life threatening. People and all animals are suffering due to our excess “wants”. I am grieving what was and am appalled at the anger I have toward the Supreme Court and Christian nationalism. I try to send acceptance of Putin and Trump but I really dislike their life views. All I can do is send love and compassion to the world.My mother is going to be 95 and in a nursing home after having a stroke.I see myself in her, I too will loose all I know and love on this earth.
Adding compassion, did allow me to feel better about myself. I stopped being absolutely stuck to the feelings of unworthiness, and made some space. I thought, “you’re a human being with a story that’s as valid as any other.”
Hello,when I felt” inside I said no don’t go near ,I don’t want help, don’t want to recognise the hurt and pain,I’ve buried it very deep,I feel helpless.
Hi Tara and thank you for your work.
I listen to one of your talks from your website most nights and have found the teachings have brought me greater awareness and an improved ability to sooth and care for myself when I feel distanced from those I love at times they have withdrawn due to depression.
Where I am at today is that I am drawing closer to feeling non separation from all that there is. Today when meditating I felt heart broken at the realisation that we are all one and for a fleeting moment I has a deep understanding that I am attached to the concept of separation. It is the holding on that creates the pain of longing.
I use RAIN myself and have taught it to some of my psychotherapy clients.
Thank you again for your compassion and generosity. I love the way you blend science, psychology and spirituality.
Slan is beanacht
Siobhan
I found it was my inability to offer kindness and forgiveness to myself that has kept me from offering it to others. I felt softened by this and had puddles in my eyes.
I find it really hard to connect with myself. this series is so welcome. although I’ve changed so much in recent years I’m suddenly seeing a different way, seeing the onion that is the self awareness I seem to need to even see where kindness is needed. I love how you describe the trance, it’s such a fundamental part of my existence. I’ve no idea what living without it would be like, or if I can. please add artist to your list of professions. so many of us.
I was surprised by the regrets many dying people have. I’ve always thought that my regret will be not having done enough for others. Which is exactly what this talk was about. I had difficulty feeling compassion for myself in this exercise.
I’ve been listening to your talks for around 5 months now. I have told people that the messages have helped me not fall off the metaphorical cliff. I’m 62 and I have been hard on myself for as long as I can remember. I do not stop to integrate the caring things or the “good” things I do. It is a constant stream of not enough. Being kind to myself is yet an intellectual concept. When I closed my eyes during this segment, I thought about my better understanding of the degree of my shame, and yet I had the thought that others (especially in my work place) would think that I am making excuses and I should have gotten a handle on myself sooner.
Thank you for this gift that you are sharing. And thanks for your vulnerability in sharing. I felt a tremendous softening, which has been part of my intention for the year. It’s been easy to get lost again in the trance of unworthiness, but the more I remember my intention, the sooner I can recognize what is happening and try to shift my focus toward more compassion and acceptance.
I felt an unfamiliar sense of warmth yet the message that arose was “really I don’t think so” and it is the wounds that are there waiting for the compassion.
Yes, I agree to be with it, what arises is needing deep healing and loving thoughts of awareness. Freedom is being who I ought to be because I really ought to be….
Thank you. Namaste.
With Warm Regards
Janie Ann
Some tenderness arising (rather than the ongoing feeling of a raw exposed heart). Feeling grateful for your courageous deep dives into BOTH psychotherapy and meditation, the pearls you offer us, your gentle humor, your personal stories – the humanness and humbleness of it :)))) a smile to you
When I attempted to approach my strong feelings of being less than those around me, I had an image of splitting into two selves where one self held the other tenderly and reminded the other that I am always as good simply because I am an equal and valued part of the whole that is humanity.
I have been listening to Tara and others and attempted this practice of “being with and allowing my emotions” over and over for a couple years now and remain stuck and hopeless
I couldn’t access a feeling of kindness towards myself, I stead I was overcome by the need to “fix” everything that is wrong in my life. I experienced even more self criticism because I am too weak and scared to take the steps to change.
I got emotional as I reflected on my fears. Fears related to my past trama. There was a feeling of compassion and ease. I felt safe to release the emotions and I cried.
I told myself that it wouldn’t actually matter if I didn’t do all I set out to do today (meet an unachievable output). I would be able to deal with consequences of delaying
Well it so subjective! I took care of my neighbors cat for seven days. The cat is 17 years old and it was a true pleasure to do. She thanked me a lot for doing this.
A week later since we are working as a group on a planting project, I asked her for advice on seeds. She commented with “ Hoi Frank, ik vind het prima om je advies over planten te geven e.d. als we elkaar tegen komen of als we bijeenkomen met de groene vingers, maar meer contact dan buren contact zit er voor mij niet in. Een zonnig weekend toegewenst!🌞“. I felt strange and rejected for no reason, since I did only wanted advice on plants. I know it’s not personal on some level, but it is still not so diplomatic.
So I decided to be, during this inquiry, with my feelings of being rejected and to hold them with kindness and to be with them if only for a real authentic moment.
It was like I got a part of myself back, like an inner strength of autonomy, especially now as I’m writing this down.
Whatever may be the reason for her way of responding, there is also a reason or call it for no reason, to be there for myself, on my own side you could say, within this kindness.
Kindness and compassion belong to a lifelong journey
Sometimes Not easy while asking myself :am I really wrong because others are telling me so
Thank you for reminding me of this powerful question which took me back to the present moment
A feeling of overwhelming sadness came in and the following thoughts were around what I will do to soothe those feelings. Think that’s how or rather why I keep going back to my patterns of addictive, not kind , behaviour .
I felt a trembling vulnerability and saw in my mind’s eye a young child standing in a sad and ashamed stance. I asked if I could be with this, with kindness and I saw an adult shape standing with the child, who then opened arms towards her and then sat on the ground to receive her for a loving embrace. The sentiment was not of wanting the child to be ‘better’ but just to love her as she was in that moment.
I felt under pressure to feel the proper feelings and to bring kindness to them. I felt I couldn’t do it right. Then I realised that I was putting myself under pressure and felt grateful for this realisation and for being helped by you to get out of my self-judging self.
Less anger. More protected, and more sympathetic
I recognised that the feelings are blocks to allowing myself to connect with my core vibration. I’m not able to resonate in the right frequency. but by allowing the feelings to exist and recognising that there is energy in these “blockages” that can be released so, instead of causing resistance, they can power my journey. they’re my inner energy sources that I need. so instead of pushing them away I can harness them and honour the suffering by seeing and celebrating the beauty of it.
I felt a physical move from tension to calm. The knot in the centre of my body melted away.
I felt less intense judgement and a glimmer of support and kindness to myself.
A sharp and surprising pang of… awareness? curiosity, a lightening of the burdens I seem to be carrying. I’ve been, I guess, gaslighting myself for way too long and also an awareness of noting and releasing. Tara’s question about quality of presence is something that does indeed bring up the very same feelings she’s mentioned. that story she tells about going hiking really hit home — that Inner Critic can be a *beast*…
I have written Tara’s quote “Please be kind” on a sticky note and stuck it in a corner of my bedroom mirror where I can see it every day.
l felt something like a wall despite wanting to try to bring tenderness .
It provided a momentary respite, a feeling of peace and acceptance, from chronic self-hatred, loathing, and fear resulting from lifelong addictive behaviors. There was a realization that this approach might be worth trying to be a little gentler and kinder to myself.
The judgement dropped off.
I’m not sure how to show/give kindness or caring when looking inward as you suggested.
I am struggling with a deep fear of how others particularly in business services are not to be trusted. What am I to do? I offer kindness to this sadness and resentment
I felt a slight lightening of the load I was carrying.
Thank you Tara, m’y english in writting is not to good but m’y understanding is very good. I thank you very Much to be in m’y Life in som Way. I love the way you think . It make me gro up more sperituality. Thank You
A deep sarrow,our plants and animals are in an extinction event, our climate is being so distorted that it has become life threatening. People and all animals are suffering due to our excess “wants”. I am grieving what was and am appalled at the anger I have toward the Supreme Court and Christian nationalism. I try to send acceptance of Putin and Trump but I really dislike their life views. All I can do is send love and compassion to the world.My mother is going to be 95 and in a nursing home after having a stroke.I see myself in her, I too will loose all I know and love on this earth.
It brought a sense of calm to me.
Unfortunately, a lot of resistance to bringing kindness to myself. 🙁
Adding compassion, did allow me to feel better about myself. I stopped being absolutely stuck to the feelings of unworthiness, and made some space. I thought, “you’re a human being with a story that’s as valid as any other.”
Hello,when I felt” inside I said no don’t go near ,I don’t want help, don’t want to recognise the hurt and pain,I’ve buried it very deep,I feel helpless.
I felt softening, and this made my back less painful instantly. Thank you, Tara, for your teachings 🙏🏻
Thanks Tara. With your help, the help of my wife and of a whole host of teachers, I’m beginning to feel more and do less.
I felt a softening towards myself. A glimpse of how my heart was hurting so much and more gentleness towards myself.
Thank you!
I felt my heart more present
Hi Tara and thank you for your work.
I listen to one of your talks from your website most nights and have found the teachings have brought me greater awareness and an improved ability to sooth and care for myself when I feel distanced from those I love at times they have withdrawn due to depression.
Where I am at today is that I am drawing closer to feeling non separation from all that there is. Today when meditating I felt heart broken at the realisation that we are all one and for a fleeting moment I has a deep understanding that I am attached to the concept of separation. It is the holding on that creates the pain of longing.
I use RAIN myself and have taught it to some of my psychotherapy clients.
Thank you again for your compassion and generosity. I love the way you blend science, psychology and spirituality.
Slan is beanacht
Siobhan
I found it was my inability to offer kindness and forgiveness to myself that has kept me from offering it to others. I felt softened by this and had puddles in my eyes.
I find it really hard to connect with myself. this series is so welcome. although I’ve changed so much in recent years I’m suddenly seeing a different way, seeing the onion that is the self awareness I seem to need to even see where kindness is needed. I love how you describe the trance, it’s such a fundamental part of my existence. I’ve no idea what living without it would be like, or if I can. please add artist to your list of professions. so many of us.
I was surprised by the regrets many dying people have. I’ve always thought that my regret will be not having done enough for others. Which is exactly what this talk was about. I had difficulty feeling compassion for myself in this exercise.
I’ve been listening to your talks for around 5 months now. I have told people that the messages have helped me not fall off the metaphorical cliff. I’m 62 and I have been hard on myself for as long as I can remember. I do not stop to integrate the caring things or the “good” things I do. It is a constant stream of not enough. Being kind to myself is yet an intellectual concept. When I closed my eyes during this segment, I thought about my better understanding of the degree of my shame, and yet I had the thought that others (especially in my work place) would think that I am making excuses and I should have gotten a handle on myself sooner.
I could feel the deep loneliness I experience. Feeling compassion helped me sit with it verses trying to figure out how to fix it.
There is a revolution of tenderness in my heart
Thank you for this gift that you are sharing. And thanks for your vulnerability in sharing. I felt a tremendous softening, which has been part of my intention for the year. It’s been easy to get lost again in the trance of unworthiness, but the more I remember my intention, the sooner I can recognize what is happening and try to shift my focus toward more compassion and acceptance.
I felt an unfamiliar sense of warmth yet the message that arose was “really I don’t think so” and it is the wounds that are there waiting for the compassion.
Yes, I agree to be with it, what arises is needing deep healing and loving thoughts of awareness. Freedom is being who I ought to be because I really ought to be….
Thank you. Namaste.
With Warm Regards
Janie Ann
Some tenderness arising (rather than the ongoing feeling of a raw exposed heart). Feeling grateful for your courageous deep dives into BOTH psychotherapy and meditation, the pearls you offer us, your gentle humor, your personal stories – the humanness and humbleness of it :)))) a smile to you
When I attempted to approach my strong feelings of being less than those around me, I had an image of splitting into two selves where one self held the other tenderly and reminded the other that I am always as good simply because I am an equal and valued part of the whole that is humanity.
I have been listening to Tara and others and attempted this practice of “being with and allowing my emotions” over and over for a couple years now and remain stuck and hopeless
I couldn’t access a feeling of kindness towards myself, I stead I was overcome by the need to “fix” everything that is wrong in my life. I experienced even more self criticism because I am too weak and scared to take the steps to change.
I got emotional as I reflected on my fears. Fears related to my past trama. There was a feeling of compassion and ease. I felt safe to release the emotions and I cried.
I told myself that it wouldn’t actually matter if I didn’t do all I set out to do today (meet an unachievable output). I would be able to deal with consequences of delaying
Thank you for the insight.
Thank you
Bringing kindness and self compassion into my awareness helps me to relax, lessen the pressure, and shift my soul to remembering who I really am.
I couldn’t do it I felt even more unworthy
Well it so subjective! I took care of my neighbors cat for seven days. The cat is 17 years old and it was a true pleasure to do. She thanked me a lot for doing this.
A week later since we are working as a group on a planting project, I asked her for advice on seeds. She commented with “ Hoi Frank, ik vind het prima om je advies over planten te geven e.d. als we elkaar tegen komen of als we bijeenkomen met de groene vingers, maar meer contact dan buren contact zit er voor mij niet in. Een zonnig weekend toegewenst!🌞“. I felt strange and rejected for no reason, since I did only wanted advice on plants. I know it’s not personal on some level, but it is still not so diplomatic.
So I decided to be, during this inquiry, with my feelings of being rejected and to hold them with kindness and to be with them if only for a real authentic moment.
It was like I got a part of myself back, like an inner strength of autonomy, especially now as I’m writing this down.
Whatever may be the reason for her way of responding, there is also a reason or call it for no reason, to be there for myself, on my own side you could say, within this kindness.
Kindness and compassion belong to a lifelong journey
Sometimes Not easy while asking myself :am I really wrong because others are telling me so
Thank you for reminding me of this powerful question which took me back to the present moment
A feeling of overwhelming sadness came in and the following thoughts were around what I will do to soothe those feelings. Think that’s how or rather why I keep going back to my patterns of addictive, not kind , behaviour .
I felt a trembling vulnerability and saw in my mind’s eye a young child standing in a sad and ashamed stance. I asked if I could be with this, with kindness and I saw an adult shape standing with the child, who then opened arms towards her and then sat on the ground to receive her for a loving embrace. The sentiment was not of wanting the child to be ‘better’ but just to love her as she was in that moment.
It brought me back to myself and my breathe, and I felt a sense of relief.
Nothing changed
It didn’t happen.
I felt under pressure to feel the proper feelings and to bring kindness to them. I felt I couldn’t do it right. Then I realised that I was putting myself under pressure and felt grateful for this realisation and for being helped by you to get out of my self-judging self.
A release of tension, increased calmness