Felt relieved to be honest with self and not deny self, it was a validating experience not to negate self, it said I am real, I felt real, I exist and there is a reason I feel this way but it is ok
Sydney Armistead, Another Field, Griffin, GA, USAsays
I have been experiencing a lot of pain and regret. Basically I have been deep in the trance of unworthiness and loneliness. When I practiced being with the pain and regret with kindness, I felt a sense of immediate relief…a lightness in my body. It was nice and a lovely break. Thank you for this tool!
It is so hard to always care for myself as no one else seems to care. My phone lies silent, this isolation in a pandemic grows larger and larger. Why am I the one to phone and check up on others??
I realised I was feeling afraid and when I offered a kind presence asking can I live with this I cried and also knew deep down that it was going to be ok, that I can handle what I’m afraid of. I may not have control of what happens but I can offer myself compassion and understanding. Thank you xx
I experienced a softening, like a gentle gesture of kindness that soothes with its simple sweetness.
I am very appreciative of your work and offerings, Tara.
Thank you!
I am feeling an emptiness in the lockdown and the practice made me feel more accepting and positive, even though there is no answer or direction. Thank you for the talk and for your gentleness and acceptance.
Oh my, do I need this as I heal from PTSD As a healthcare provider! I am ashamed and trying to live up to a standard that has been set by me and/or my husband! I feel like where I exist today is in a closed trapped place!
But meeting myself with self compassion softened that place and opened up spaciousness to healing what is vs what should it could be!
lovely… I so needed that
Thank you Tara
The trance of unworthiness has been my walk through a great portion of my life. Learning self compassion has been a difficult journey due to complicated messaging during my development years and reassessment of those beliefs has caused me a great deal of confusion and mental health issues .
As I have become more self aware and learning kindness to self, I can understand better what keeps me in this state of Self Sabotage.
This is an other component to Healing my sense of Self that I can incorporate with my Tapping .
I was introduced to your amazing mediations years ago and am now able to Sit With Self much more and with love and compassion that I so willingly gave to others ( in hopes of getting it for myself ).
I see today that what I gave out was what I was craving for my inner self. Working on balance now , hahaha.
With much Gratitude,
Suzanne
When I faced my fears and looping thoughts , I just felt confused, I know I need to stop, I know I need to change but I feel stuck, so it was a feeling of just what will it take to shift this awful self sabotaging.
Lindsay UK
I’m feeling good about myself today. I have been following you, have listened to many hours of your dharma talks and your meditations and others talks. I have also been practicing RAIN! Thank you for all the work you have done!! I look forward to continuing my own personal journey!
Tara, Thank you for your guidance and work. It has been very healing to me. When I followed along with this practice of mindfulness and compassion I was reminded of a time as a little girl. I had been severely injured in a car accident, hit by a police car walking across the road. My parents attempted to sue the police. At a young age I heard the discussion in the courtroom of what my future potential might be. Would I be able to graduate from high school, attend college? Not until recently did I realize how damaging that was for me to hear. I was eleven years old at the time. However, after the judge ruled that the police officer was not at fault, I walked to the car with my parents and made a pact that I would never complain about my injuries (I suffered a traumatic brain and back injury). My parents had been through enough and now they had to struggle financially to pay my hospital bills. It was that pact that kept me from asking for help and creating this facade of being ok.
So in your exercise, I found myself bringing compassion to that little girl, who somehow found the strength to grow into a compassionate, accomplished woman. I became a nurse, yoga teacher, and massage therapist. I have been able to heal through helping others. However, taking the time to bring kindness and compassion to myself is key and I thank you for this teaching. I can be honest and more authentic about my needs so I can be more honest and authentic with others. Thank you for the exercise and revelation. I very much appreciate you.
Thank you Tara. Very helpful in my working with torture survivors. Through self-compassion and kindness, I am able to help others to become aware of their own.
I could feel a slight tightening of the throat, an unease of the body and a fuzziness of the mind. I could relate this to past experiences as a child, to feeling unable to openly express being sexually abused and possibly being strangled. I thought, here we go again. I allowed myself to interrupt this thought and allow myself to feel sick and “fuzzy”. It’s ok, you’re ok, maybe it will take a while to FEEL ok.
What I noticed when turning inward was first a physical sensation of pain, then tiredness, then a sadness. When Tara asked can I be with this with kindness I felt a face with the expression of caring and comfort like someone had put their arm around me and said it’s okay. Think I will just sit with this for a while. Thank you.
Tara asked me to be vulnerable, mindful and kind. Befriending unworthiness, again and again, mirrors what I value most in my work, treasure within my own rocky path to self kindness and your invitation to share this story widely and mindfully gives me neuro mirroring delight.
Thank you.
John Kavanaugh, LCSW
It was the perfect timing for me, I was able in my current pain to be kind. Reflection of self can be painful to move through. Exhausting even however as you shared when done with self reflective kindness it is also empowering, allowing true self to come to light.
Initially I felt some resistance and then curiosity. As I stayed with the feelings that arose I felt a sense of uncurling and peace. I will continue with this practice. Thank you.
I realized that I thought it was my job to critique my actions and reactions—if I am not engaged in this “work” how will I do better? This has lead me to discounting any positive feedback.
Just in the moment of reflection during the video, I felt a bit of release in the stiff muscle that has been troubling me physically.
Thank you Tara. I learned to be more kind to myself through RAIN and meditation helps a lot to see when I am in a trance…however what I am struggling with most is being alone, feeling lonely, and my friends not caring about the fact that I am totally alone in this pandemic and need to feel they care about me by calling, or asking about me…I am disappointed…You say to live our values and what’s important to us…What’s important to me is being surrounded by friends and family and I can’t because I am an immigrant and love by myself…I feel trapped and life has no meaning to me…
Loved the video. Made me connect to feeling a sense of inadequacy as a mother; and then felt emotions/tears to realizing to let this go would invite me to be more present and curious about what’s happening – space to grow self and grow the relationship that means so much to me, and my hope, for my daughter.
As I answered the second question ‘can I be with this’ I answered yes followed by a comforting comment ‘you will be ok, and you will get through this’. I noticed I became tearful as if there was a sense of relief, I was giving myself permission to say it’s ok to feel anxious and weary and uncertain of myself. The kind reassuring words acted like a hug!
Mary Ellen Copeland, Health Education, VT, USAsays
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It again proves to me that the resources are there when I need them. I have been struggling myself. I will work today with bringing kindness to myself. Until tomorrow……
Thankyou for sharing this. I am a practising Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, with a loving husband and a large family of 7 children. I am passionate about helping others heal and become free from all that would hinder them. In the process of helping others, I have become aware, at the age of 50, that the need to show compassion and kindness to myself is crucial, to be successful in helping others. When I followed through with your exercise just now, I felt tension leave my body, full peace of mind and gained a healthy awareness, that I am indeed doing my best in life, and that self-love is precious and powerful.
You seem very genuine. It feel quite stressed at the moment because I look at the news too often. I don’t think I feel unworthy myself, but I just feel we are going through a version of an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind – can I just be with this feeling of stress – yes, then I feel a bit less activated by it – and it gives may space to rememeber the basic dynamic – although I am against war (racists, sexism, extremes of wealth and poverty) – perhaps it is even better to be for peace, unity in diversity etc
Tara, your sheer presence and what you share is illuminating. I had a gentle smile on my face and comfort or the purest kind. thanks for giving those two simple questions to start my journey on self compassion
Felt relieved to be honest with self and not deny self, it was a validating experience not to negate self, it said I am real, I felt real, I exist and there is a reason I feel this way but it is ok
I have been experiencing a lot of pain and regret. Basically I have been deep in the trance of unworthiness and loneliness. When I practiced being with the pain and regret with kindness, I felt a sense of immediate relief…a lightness in my body. It was nice and a lovely break. Thank you for this tool!
My almost ever tense muscles in neck and shoulders began to relax.
I didn’t know what to say to myself beyond, “I’m sorry…it is scary…” To the situation that’s currently giving me anxiety.
I have learned and taught the RAIN model. I connected back into my awareness of my breath. My ANS now goes to this amazing default✨
It is so hard to always care for myself as no one else seems to care. My phone lies silent, this isolation in a pandemic grows larger and larger. Why am I the one to phone and check up on others??
Felt an air of expectation that this exploration may be helpful to me and others
Quiet acceptance, happy to give myself some time to be with myself.
I realised I was feeling afraid and when I offered a kind presence asking can I live with this I cried and also knew deep down that it was going to be ok, that I can handle what I’m afraid of. I may not have control of what happens but I can offer myself compassion and understanding. Thank you xx
Love sending compassion. I’m a life coach and the compassion has been core to clients and for myself.
Hi Kess, My name is Kimball Scharff. I think we must be related! Not many Scharff’s in the US.
I experienced a softening, like a gentle gesture of kindness that soothes with its simple sweetness.
I am very appreciative of your work and offerings, Tara.
Thank you!
I am feeling an emptiness in the lockdown and the practice made me feel more accepting and positive, even though there is no answer or direction. Thank you for the talk and for your gentleness and acceptance.
I took a deeper breath. And in that moment was aware that the inhale and exhale is a kind of homecoming.
Feeling of impatience with myself
Oh my, do I need this as I heal from PTSD As a healthcare provider! I am ashamed and trying to live up to a standard that has been set by me and/or my husband! I feel like where I exist today is in a closed trapped place!
But meeting myself with self compassion softened that place and opened up spaciousness to healing what is vs what should it could be!
lovely… I so needed that
Turmoil
Happy to be with my family here where we’ve been throughout lockdown and so privileged and fortunate to have their love and support
Thanks Tara
My heart chakra which was tender gently spread open like the wings of a butterfly.
Namaste
Thank you Tara
The trance of unworthiness has been my walk through a great portion of my life. Learning self compassion has been a difficult journey due to complicated messaging during my development years and reassessment of those beliefs has caused me a great deal of confusion and mental health issues .
As I have become more self aware and learning kindness to self, I can understand better what keeps me in this state of Self Sabotage.
This is an other component to Healing my sense of Self that I can incorporate with my Tapping .
I was introduced to your amazing mediations years ago and am now able to Sit With Self much more and with love and compassion that I so willingly gave to others ( in hopes of getting it for myself ).
I see today that what I gave out was what I was craving for my inner self. Working on balance now , hahaha.
With much Gratitude,
Suzanne
I love your videos and your wisdom
I’m become aware of my sabotage patterns and narrative I’m perpetuating on myself. And I choose to shift frequency. Thank you!
I felt great sadness and cried.
When I faced my fears and looping thoughts , I just felt confused, I know I need to stop, I know I need to change but I feel stuck, so it was a feeling of just what will it take to shift this awful self sabotaging.
Lindsay UK
Felt myself relaxing ,within and accepting myself as I am ,,
There was space to listen to what my body and heart needed.
I’m feeling good about myself today. I have been following you, have listened to many hours of your dharma talks and your meditations and others talks. I have also been practicing RAIN! Thank you for all the work you have done!! I look forward to continuing my own personal journey!
Thank you Tara…
Offering kindness and compassion on any front is so incredibly important for self healing.
Looking forward to the next session.
I felt so grateful to be sitting here
Tara, Thank you for your guidance and work. It has been very healing to me. When I followed along with this practice of mindfulness and compassion I was reminded of a time as a little girl. I had been severely injured in a car accident, hit by a police car walking across the road. My parents attempted to sue the police. At a young age I heard the discussion in the courtroom of what my future potential might be. Would I be able to graduate from high school, attend college? Not until recently did I realize how damaging that was for me to hear. I was eleven years old at the time. However, after the judge ruled that the police officer was not at fault, I walked to the car with my parents and made a pact that I would never complain about my injuries (I suffered a traumatic brain and back injury). My parents had been through enough and now they had to struggle financially to pay my hospital bills. It was that pact that kept me from asking for help and creating this facade of being ok.
So in your exercise, I found myself bringing compassion to that little girl, who somehow found the strength to grow into a compassionate, accomplished woman. I became a nurse, yoga teacher, and massage therapist. I have been able to heal through helping others. However, taking the time to bring kindness and compassion to myself is key and I thank you for this teaching. I can be honest and more authentic about my needs so I can be more honest and authentic with others. Thank you for the exercise and revelation. I very much appreciate you.
Thank you Tara. Very helpful in my working with torture survivors. Through self-compassion and kindness, I am able to help others to become aware of their own.
I experienced a softening, a sadness, a sense of acceptance and relief.
A beautiful affirmation. It allows me to pause and to take a breath.
I could feel a slight tightening of the throat, an unease of the body and a fuzziness of the mind. I could relate this to past experiences as a child, to feeling unable to openly express being sexually abused and possibly being strangled. I thought, here we go again. I allowed myself to interrupt this thought and allow myself to feel sick and “fuzzy”. It’s ok, you’re ok, maybe it will take a while to FEEL ok.
What I noticed when turning inward was first a physical sensation of pain, then tiredness, then a sadness. When Tara asked can I be with this with kindness I felt a face with the expression of caring and comfort like someone had put their arm around me and said it’s okay. Think I will just sit with this for a while. Thank you.
Tara asked me to be vulnerable, mindful and kind. Befriending unworthiness, again and again, mirrors what I value most in my work, treasure within my own rocky path to self kindness and your invitation to share this story widely and mindfully gives me neuro mirroring delight.
Thank you.
John Kavanaugh, LCSW
It was the perfect timing for me, I was able in my current pain to be kind. Reflection of self can be painful to move through. Exhausting even however as you shared when done with self reflective kindness it is also empowering, allowing true self to come to light.
Initially I felt some resistance and then curiosity. As I stayed with the feelings that arose I felt a sense of uncurling and peace. I will continue with this practice. Thank you.
I realized that I thought it was my job to critique my actions and reactions—if I am not engaged in this “work” how will I do better? This has lead me to discounting any positive feedback.
Just in the moment of reflection during the video, I felt a bit of release in the stiff muscle that has been troubling me physically.
Thank you. Looking forward to #2
It was the perfect timing for me, I was able in my tire pain to be kind.
Thank you Tara. I learned to be more kind to myself through RAIN and meditation helps a lot to see when I am in a trance…however what I am struggling with most is being alone, feeling lonely, and my friends not caring about the fact that I am totally alone in this pandemic and need to feel they care about me by calling, or asking about me…I am disappointed…You say to live our values and what’s important to us…What’s important to me is being surrounded by friends and family and I can’t because I am an immigrant and love by myself…I feel trapped and life has no meaning to me…
Loved the video. Made me connect to feeling a sense of inadequacy as a mother; and then felt emotions/tears to realizing to let this go would invite me to be more present and curious about what’s happening – space to grow self and grow the relationship that means so much to me, and my hope, for my daughter.
a slight smile across my face, a face that doesn’t smile often these days!
As I answered the second question ‘can I be with this’ I answered yes followed by a comforting comment ‘you will be ok, and you will get through this’. I noticed I became tearful as if there was a sense of relief, I was giving myself permission to say it’s ok to feel anxious and weary and uncertain of myself. The kind reassuring words acted like a hug!
Focus on self
Satisfied
Safe
Relaxed
Relationship
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It again proves to me that the resources are there when I need them. I have been struggling myself. I will work today with bringing kindness to myself. Until tomorrow……
How can I generate kindness when it is not naturally there, inside.
Thankyou for sharing this. I am a practising Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, with a loving husband and a large family of 7 children. I am passionate about helping others heal and become free from all that would hinder them. In the process of helping others, I have become aware, at the age of 50, that the need to show compassion and kindness to myself is crucial, to be successful in helping others. When I followed through with your exercise just now, I felt tension leave my body, full peace of mind and gained a healthy awareness, that I am indeed doing my best in life, and that self-love is precious and powerful.
You seem very genuine. It feel quite stressed at the moment because I look at the news too often. I don’t think I feel unworthy myself, but I just feel we are going through a version of an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind – can I just be with this feeling of stress – yes, then I feel a bit less activated by it – and it gives may space to rememeber the basic dynamic – although I am against war (racists, sexism, extremes of wealth and poverty) – perhaps it is even better to be for peace, unity in diversity etc
My body relaxed?
Tara, your sheer presence and what you share is illuminating. I had a gentle smile on my face and comfort or the purest kind. thanks for giving those two simple questions to start my journey on self compassion