Fear has helped me to learn how to be safe
Fear has helped me to stay safe
Fear has helped to find options or solutions
Fear has helped to grow in courage and resilience, and self-esteem and belief in self
Fear has helped to grow in peace and calm
Fear has helped me to help others
Fear has helped me to gain other skills
Fear has helped me to find ways to regain energy and to try new things – to be bold and unafraid
Who would I be without fear? I thought about this in another way this morning: “Who do I want to be in the face of the polarization that is in our nation…” – our culture, fueled by the mainstream media, seems to be afraid of ‘different than me’ and I want a way around this dynamic… it is tiring, unproductive, breeds suspicion and anger…so what/who do I want to be to offer something different? Expansive, inclusive, listening, accepting without necessarily agreeing, holding ‘space’ for you…these things would reduce the fear in those who would come to me for friendship or for help
Who would I be? What would I have become? What choices would I had made at a much younger age and where would that have taken me? It’s hard to answer specifically, but I would have manifested more of my potentialities, surely.
What if you have a client who has had such a traumatic past that he actually continually lives out the “true” part, many times over? So the real IS true. An example: since childhood, social, skilled and smart enough to be welcomed initially into many different groups (be they social, sport, professional), but the trauma eventually plays itself out in various interactions via long held anxiety, reactivity, and all the other ways childhood trauma plays out, and then, he is pushed out, often dramatically, with seemingly no warning. Forcefully and humiliating publicly told he is not welcome, and even worse, ghosted by long-term friends and social groups. So the message became, he is not no longer welcome, but also easily dismissed. Where do you begin to craft a softer entrance back into the real but not true core beliefs, since they have played themselves out as true. I’m stuck at the how to help place in cultivating the fearless part.
Who would I be? A writer, sharing my stories with others. I would be happy and upbeat allowing my talents to shine forth without the fear of rejection always around that corner. Who would I be? That inner voice, that little child that grew into a senior citizen never looking back but always looking to the future with pure wonder and excitement. I would not always look for approval, fear rejection, overcome by what others have said, true but not true. I am not a therapist, just a surgenor.
Without fear I would be more at peace with myself and with others. I would be willing to try new things and face challenges with an open mind. I would most likely have more energy-positive energy, to put to good use.
Jodie Kennedy, Psychotherapy, Carterville, IL, USAsays
Very encouraging video series! Thanks so much for sharing and teaching. Who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me? I’m not sure right now who I would be, but I can sense immediately how I would be … less constricted, gentler, softer.
Thank you for giving me ideas of how to deal with chronic anxiety. I go through life like a kamikaze pilot, which doesn’t always work well for me,. Now I can try another approach. Hopefully, in future, when I get my qualification, I can use what I have learned here to help my clients.
Thank you! My intention was to listen to the three sessions and use the information in my work with clients, which I will. The unexpected result was a series of personal insights that have and will forever alter the nature of my relationships. I have been at this a long time and have never cracked the protective wall that has kept me from being fully ‘in’ my relationships. Can’t thank you enough.
I see that so much in all my work that self doubt is so pervasive and stems from such early years experiences and relationships. Who would I be without the fear: someone who was able to do less by not always proving myself so as to awake to the carefree loving self – thanks so much Tara.
Great series! Thank you so much!
I would be more trusting in my own abilities… and I would offer more love and kindness to others without having the fear to be rejected…
If all unhealthy fear was removed from my life; I would be – free, free to move through my life and follow my passions. I am so looking forward to this!
Thank you Tara for sharing your insights with such kindness. Your words have given me the encourage to face a situation I have been afraid of for a long time and that has been paralysing me and increasing my self doubt. If I didn’t have this self doubt, which I think is deeply rooted in my childhood, and which persists despite many years of therapy, I’d be happier, freer, and would basically allow myself to be WHO I TRULY AM and say what I think, without any fear of being rejected.
Thank you Tara for sharing your insights with such kindness. Your words have given me the encourage to face a situation I have been afraid of for a long time and that has been paralysing me and increasing my self doubt. If I didn’t have this self doubt, which I think is deeply rooted in my childhood, and which persists despite many years of therapy, I’d be happier, freer, and would basically allow myself to be WHO I TRULY AM and say what I think, without any fear of being rejected.
“Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?”
Such a powerful question! And also a tough one.
I would be free, free from all the burdens.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?’
I would be more trusting of my desire to start new professional adventures and not worry so much that I have little to no income generating work at the moment. I would let go of my anxiety and open up to the knowing that the free time I have is a total gift to help me create and organize a few important loose ends in my life. I would be more relaxed more of the time, have a lighter heart and lighter walk. I would follow through more confidently on my ideas and create more opportunities and truly allow the seeds I have been planting for the last decade to finally take root because I am finally tending to them with the care and attention they deserve.
‘Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?’
What a powerful question! It took my breath away for a few moments & then I found myself taking a deep deep breath & letting it go. It was as though my body, not my mind, was answering the question.
Thank you Tara
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? I think I would be a happier person. I would be a better partner and a better friend. I think it would give me the opportunity to do things I’ve always wanted to do. It would encourage me to dare to live. What a wonderful question and series. I really appreciate the time and effort. I will for sure use this to help people in my work… and to help myself!!
Susan R. Visconti, Another Field, Massapequa Park, NY, USAsays
All three videos were very informative, soothing and helped me understand the underpinnings of these Fear Cycles, Anxiety, Looping and that there is a way to Decondition oneself from being held prisoner to the Beliefs and Self Doubt that have been preventing me from reaching my potential. I hope to sign up for the course and truly master being the best person I can possibly be. Thank You Dr. Brach
This was a wonderful way to frame fear that connects thoughts and the body, and I love teaching that to clients. I am thinking about how to use this with the fear of aging since many of my clients are middle aged women.
What a powerful and profound question…the first thought that popped into my head was ‘fearless!’…without fear of judgement, without fear of disapproval, with out fear of being myself 🙂
I loved the way you explained fear, I need to know how to deal with secondary fear. In other words, parent’s fear of letting go, or some students have told me that since the experience was bad for them now they do not let them experience that because of their own memory of pain. Secondary fear is hard to deactivate, no parent comes to me for help, yet the students suffer lack of freedom because of that. Empowering is tricky when students go back home and face a sterm face of their parent’s fears.
Kristen English, Psychology, Phoenixville, PA, USAsays
Thank you so much for all of the time and thought and care put into crafting such humane ideas. The concepts seem and feel so intuitive, yet i know for myself, words–quick and direct symbols of the infinitely deep ideas–serve as the stormy-sea buoys and rock-face foot-holds in the toughest moments of inner battle. I love those moments when I’m reaching for such buoys or foot-holds and realize those very words appear to have been internalized. It’s like springing through a moment that I know would have otherwise pulled me under, just days earlier. Thank you!
So grateful for your videos
This question has me pondering… you see I’m dealing with post concussion syndrome and my thoughts are so much different them the pre accident thoughts. I’m more open to looking deeper in me and allowing the unheard me to come forth. So thank you 😊
My answer has two sides and potential many variations inbetween. The question who would I be if I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me made me think immediately that I’d be arrogant. This is not something I want to be so perhaps living with some fear is healthy. Another answer to the same question would be that I would be less stressed and anxious, and more open hearted when engaging in and thinking about relationships with others. Enabling me to feel more connected and alive.
maybe I would be in more friendship s as fear of being rejected or just brushed off as not worth knowing and so ignored is deep in me . Had this fear for a long long time and I would like to feel without it dominating . lydia says thank you for this opportunity , thank you Tara.
Great mini-series, thank you Tara. I find that my clients are often addicted to their worry and are afraid to give it up. The mindfulness is a very useful adjunct, I have also found that tapping is helpful as well.
Today I used your question with a client. ”Who would you be …” A potent question!! And interesting is that the client without effort is emotionally in contact with the answer.
Fear has helped me to learn how to be safe
Fear has helped me to stay safe
Fear has helped to find options or solutions
Fear has helped to grow in courage and resilience, and self-esteem and belief in self
Fear has helped to grow in peace and calm
Fear has helped me to help others
Fear has helped me to gain other skills
Fear has helped me to find ways to regain energy and to try new things – to be bold and unafraid
thank you for your series
Profound, moving, and real. I am grateful for this.
Who would I be without fear? I thought about this in another way this morning: “Who do I want to be in the face of the polarization that is in our nation…” – our culture, fueled by the mainstream media, seems to be afraid of ‘different than me’ and I want a way around this dynamic… it is tiring, unproductive, breeds suspicion and anger…so what/who do I want to be to offer something different? Expansive, inclusive, listening, accepting without necessarily agreeing, holding ‘space’ for you…these things would reduce the fear in those who would come to me for friendship or for help
Who would I be? What would I have become? What choices would I had made at a much younger age and where would that have taken me? It’s hard to answer specifically, but I would have manifested more of my potentialities, surely.
What if you have a client who has had such a traumatic past that he actually continually lives out the “true” part, many times over? So the real IS true. An example: since childhood, social, skilled and smart enough to be welcomed initially into many different groups (be they social, sport, professional), but the trauma eventually plays itself out in various interactions via long held anxiety, reactivity, and all the other ways childhood trauma plays out, and then, he is pushed out, often dramatically, with seemingly no warning. Forcefully and humiliating publicly told he is not welcome, and even worse, ghosted by long-term friends and social groups. So the message became, he is not no longer welcome, but also easily dismissed. Where do you begin to craft a softer entrance back into the real but not true core beliefs, since they have played themselves out as true. I’m stuck at the how to help place in cultivating the fearless part.
I meant Sojourner.
Who would I be? A writer, sharing my stories with others. I would be happy and upbeat allowing my talents to shine forth without the fear of rejection always around that corner. Who would I be? That inner voice, that little child that grew into a senior citizen never looking back but always looking to the future with pure wonder and excitement. I would not always look for approval, fear rejection, overcome by what others have said, true but not true. I am not a therapist, just a surgenor.
I would not over-perform.
Without fear I would be more at peace with myself and with others. I would be willing to try new things and face challenges with an open mind. I would most likely have more energy-positive energy, to put to good use.
I would have a successful business instead of fearing success 😉
I would feel emotionally stable, be married to a good man, with children, happy on the inside.
Answer: live more freely and authentic way.
Very encouraging video series! Thanks so much for sharing and teaching. Who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me? I’m not sure right now who I would be, but I can sense immediately how I would be … less constricted, gentler, softer.
Thank you for giving me ideas of how to deal with chronic anxiety. I go through life like a kamikaze pilot, which doesn’t always work well for me,. Now I can try another approach. Hopefully, in future, when I get my qualification, I can use what I have learned here to help my clients.
Thank you! My intention was to listen to the three sessions and use the information in my work with clients, which I will. The unexpected result was a series of personal insights that have and will forever alter the nature of my relationships. I have been at this a long time and have never cracked the protective wall that has kept me from being fully ‘in’ my relationships. Can’t thank you enough.
First of all thank you for your teachings. And answering the question would say that I would simply be free …..
I see that so much in all my work that self doubt is so pervasive and stems from such early years experiences and relationships. Who would I be without the fear: someone who was able to do less by not always proving myself so as to awake to the carefree loving self – thanks so much Tara.
I would feel free to be myself – friendly, smart, engaging, funny, and ok just the way I am.
I think I would be someone more free, that every time I commits to something do it genuinely and without an agenda.
Thank you Tara, so much for this excellent free (and freeing!) series. I am looking forward to using these incredibly useful suggestions.
Great series! Thank you so much!
I would be more trusting in my own abilities… and I would offer more love and kindness to others without having the fear to be rejected…
If all unhealthy fear was removed from my life; I would be – free, free to move through my life and follow my passions. I am so looking forward to this!
Thank you Tara for sharing your insights with such kindness. Your words have given me the encourage to face a situation I have been afraid of for a long time and that has been paralysing me and increasing my self doubt. If I didn’t have this self doubt, which I think is deeply rooted in my childhood, and which persists despite many years of therapy, I’d be happier, freer, and would basically allow myself to be WHO I TRULY AM and say what I think, without any fear of being rejected.
Thank you Tara for sharing your insights with such kindness. Your words have given me the encourage to face a situation I have been afraid of for a long time and that has been paralysing me and increasing my self doubt. If I didn’t have this self doubt, which I think is deeply rooted in my childhood, and which persists despite many years of therapy, I’d be happier, freer, and would basically allow myself to be WHO I TRULY AM and say what I think, without any fear of being rejected.
I would be free to support myself and my children (with a good measure of confidence) by following my passion to be a health coach and travel.
I would be a world traveler.
“Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?”
Such a powerful question! And also a tough one.
I would be free, free from all the burdens.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?’
I would be more trusting of my desire to start new professional adventures and not worry so much that I have little to no income generating work at the moment. I would let go of my anxiety and open up to the knowing that the free time I have is a total gift to help me create and organize a few important loose ends in my life. I would be more relaxed more of the time, have a lighter heart and lighter walk. I would follow through more confidently on my ideas and create more opportunities and truly allow the seeds I have been planting for the last decade to finally take root because I am finally tending to them with the care and attention they deserve.
‘Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?’
What a powerful question! It took my breath away for a few moments & then I found myself taking a deep deep breath & letting it go. It was as though my body, not my mind, was answering the question.
Thank you Tara
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? I think I would be a happier person. I would be a better partner and a better friend. I think it would give me the opportunity to do things I’ve always wanted to do. It would encourage me to dare to live. What a wonderful question and series. I really appreciate the time and effort. I will for sure use this to help people in my work… and to help myself!!
All three videos were very informative, soothing and helped me understand the underpinnings of these Fear Cycles, Anxiety, Looping and that there is a way to Decondition oneself from being held prisoner to the Beliefs and Self Doubt that have been preventing me from reaching my potential. I hope to sign up for the course and truly master being the best person I can possibly be. Thank You Dr. Brach
FEELINGS AREN’T FACTS.
I would be an even more evolved me if I were free of all my limiting beliefs.
Progress not perfection.
I am doing great and am a lifelong learner!
💜✌🏼
I expect I would be more relaxed, energetic, free, authentic & creative!
Such a thought-provoking question, still thinking it through, but a happier freer person is already in mind.
I would be the person I’ve always felt down deep my whole life who I really am.
What a great question
This was a wonderful way to frame fear that connects thoughts and the body, and I love teaching that to clients. I am thinking about how to use this with the fear of aging since many of my clients are middle aged women.
What a powerful and profound question…the first thought that popped into my head was ‘fearless!’…without fear of judgement, without fear of disapproval, with out fear of being myself 🙂
I loved the way you explained fear, I need to know how to deal with secondary fear. In other words, parent’s fear of letting go, or some students have told me that since the experience was bad for them now they do not let them experience that because of their own memory of pain. Secondary fear is hard to deactivate, no parent comes to me for help, yet the students suffer lack of freedom because of that. Empowering is tricky when students go back home and face a sterm face of their parent’s fears.
Thank you so much for all of the time and thought and care put into crafting such humane ideas. The concepts seem and feel so intuitive, yet i know for myself, words–quick and direct symbols of the infinitely deep ideas–serve as the stormy-sea buoys and rock-face foot-holds in the toughest moments of inner battle. I love those moments when I’m reaching for such buoys or foot-holds and realize those very words appear to have been internalized. It’s like springing through a moment that I know would have otherwise pulled me under, just days earlier. Thank you!
So grateful for your videos
This question has me pondering… you see I’m dealing with post concussion syndrome and my thoughts are so much different them the pre accident thoughts. I’m more open to looking deeper in me and allowing the unheard me to come forth. So thank you 😊
My answer has two sides and potential many variations inbetween. The question who would I be if I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me made me think immediately that I’d be arrogant. This is not something I want to be so perhaps living with some fear is healthy. Another answer to the same question would be that I would be less stressed and anxious, and more open hearted when engaging in and thinking about relationships with others. Enabling me to feel more connected and alive.
Great, I’m goi g to use this question with my clients and with myself.
Thanks for sharing.
maybe I would be in more friendship s as fear of being rejected or just brushed off as not worth knowing and so ignored is deep in me . Had this fear for a long long time and I would like to feel without it dominating . lydia says thank you for this opportunity , thank you Tara.
Great mini-series, thank you Tara. I find that my clients are often addicted to their worry and are afraid to give it up. The mindfulness is a very useful adjunct, I have also found that tapping is helpful as well.
Today I used your question with a client. ”Who would you be …” A potent question!! And interesting is that the client without effort is emotionally in contact with the answer.
Practical mindfulness, here listening to my body when fear is present, seems so much more possible than ‘sitting’ in a neutral space
If I had not believed something was wrong with me, I would have been more selective with the people I allowed close to me.
Thank you for sharing such clear and impactful frameworks for exploring
lifelong challenges.
Thank you for sharing such clear and impactful frameworks for exploring
lifelong challenges.
I would not be afraid of being seen.