Susan Kelley, Another Field, Coventry, VT, USAsays
THANK YOU so much for your generous offerings. I have been taking your course with Jack and it is very inspiring.
I have made many mistakes and I want to forgive myself. I could use help with getting unstuck with old patterns.I don’t want to waste precious time and energy spinning my wheels.
I am not the reactive person in our relationship but realizing it is not his fault made me see my partner with kindness.
It helped me evaluate my reactions of shutting down and how that affects our relationship as well. Self kindness is making me feel more at peace and in control. Realizing I am not my thoughts and that emotions pass gives me a tool to work with to finally see the change I so desperately need.
Hello. This is a very helpful, concise way to put across to clients (a) the unhelpfulness of self-judgement and (b) using solution-focused imagination, to encourage a change in one’s habitual neural pathways.
Thank you!
I think it will create space for new pathways to connect authentically with each other, to go a bit deeper in the way we communicate, and allow each other to feel safe and held and accepted
I believe awareness is the key to freedom. Forgiveness of ourselves from others injustice I don’t understand, but Forgiveness for what we’ve done is important and necessary. Thank you.
Genuine forgiveness creates a path of love— plus, as an old adage is saying: you can’t give what you don’t have— thus the need to start genuinely loving ourselves. By doing so, we will not only heal old wounds, but also provide more love into the world.
Dear Maria, it is never too late, and only more crucial to attract what seems to be lost ASAP. True relationships will heal with
Your effort. Do not give up. Ask yourself: what can I gain? Ask yourself: why not try? Try.
This is in perfect time, and I appreciate it greatly. Supporting people unweave and release Shame around sexuality is a frequent aspect of my work. I am grateful for this resource. Thank you!
I’ve lived a life of being caught in hurt and anger most days, affecting every relationship. Cut off from family due to the anger and grief we all carry and trigger in each other. Experiencing a huge number of failed relationships with partners, the current relationship has been so difficult as both of us carry intense hurt, vulnerability and fear, setting each other off into painful ricochets where immense guilt builds in both of us. Enormous difficultly maintaining close friendships and feeling that I have nothing good to offer.
Never escaped low paying jobs because of limiting self beliefs of my capability and immense feelings of inferiority / being an imposter
So much to forgive, yet failing to believe it is not my fault when ultimately I am responsible for the person I am. Years of therapy have helped to lift me at times, but my goodness, there are still so many days of drowning in my deep lake of badness, thrashing and kicking to stay alive, I don’t know what it feels like to feel safe and dry, with my feet on the ground. Thank you Tara for showing me that there is a slip somewhere along the steep banks, I need to trust myself that I can swim to it and allow myself to climb out.
The words “forgiven, forgiven” and “please may I be kind” would be the gateway for me to deepening my understanding with what wants most attention within me at this moment.
I’m learning compassion and self-forgiveness, but still find I get a “knee-jerk” reaction in certain contexts towards others, when I sense I’m susceptible to any of their controlling behaviour. My reaction is to take control right back and there commenceth a psychological battlefield, and I feel ugly inside. It’s as though my quick reaction to take control causes the other person to “defend their ground”.
For example, when working voluntarily as a ‘meet and greet’ host the coordinator intervened by taking some pamphlets (my job is to hand-out pamphlets), and I immediately pointed out it was my task. My elderly, neuro-diverse co-worker hadn’t been able to access washroom facilities all day, and so I decided to ask why they were locked. Being given the response I asked the coordinator to explain that to my elderly friend (*I recognise, I did this to deflect my having to deal with my co-workers neuro-diversity manifestations, but also take command??). Anyway, this led to subsequent interactions which jarred rather than flowed. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, and I spent the remaining time trying to smile it off. It was hard work! I guess my question is how to ‘go with the flow’ more and not get caught up in these micro-psych-dramas, it’s so tedious and irksome! I so want that pivotal moment, like Sam.
I sense that if I was to genuinely forgive myself then within the ongoing relationship with my son, we may both be able to see the integrity and the intention of some of my behaviors. It could well shine a light giving my son a viewing point where he might like to consider alternative actions/ behaviors for himself… potentially being a role model with some alternative ways of being. Regardless, I would feel more congruent within.
Thank you for this very helpful and simple way of letting go of self-judgement and thus feeling more softness and understanding for myself and the other person
I have been hard on myself for most of my life, to be ‘kinder’ is tricky and doesn’t feel ‘right’.
Yet when I manage to connect with even a little skerrick of self compassion, in that moment, I feel softer, melting a wee bit of the hardness…I am present to a vulnerability within….and then I go back to old patterns.
Thank you Tara as always . Powerful loving work . Doing your exercise i got in touch with the sadness i feel around my behaviour coming from a feeling of not being good enough . The work …. to be continued ,
Thank you x
Thank you This inspired me! X
Helping to lift the feeling of guilt and self loathing and not good enough which has become my every day cloak.
THANK YOU so much for your generous offerings. I have been taking your course with Jack and it is very inspiring.
I have made many mistakes and I want to forgive myself. I could use help with getting unstuck with old patterns.I don’t want to waste precious time and energy spinning my wheels.
I am not the reactive person in our relationship but realizing it is not his fault made me see my partner with kindness.
It helped me evaluate my reactions of shutting down and how that affects our relationship as well. Self kindness is making me feel more at peace and in control. Realizing I am not my thoughts and that emotions pass gives me a tool to work with to finally see the change I so desperately need.
What a gentle, powerful exercise. Thank you.
Feel more open to other person
Selfforgivness is a key!
Very simple yet effective tool. Thank you for sharing!
Self forgiveness difficult
I practise a lot but it seems to want to keep visiting And take over
This is a powerful exercise, thank you!
Hello. This is a very helpful, concise way to put across to clients (a) the unhelpfulness of self-judgement and (b) using solution-focused imagination, to encourage a change in one’s habitual neural pathways.
Thank you!
I think it will create space for new pathways to connect authentically with each other, to go a bit deeper in the way we communicate, and allow each other to feel safe and held and accepted
By loving and forgiving yourself you are able to love others more
I believe awareness is the key to freedom. Forgiveness of ourselves from others injustice I don’t understand, but Forgiveness for what we’ve done is important and necessary. Thank you.
understanding so things can change
Genuine forgiveness creates a path of love— plus, as an old adage is saying: you can’t give what you don’t have— thus the need to start genuinely loving ourselves. By doing so, we will not only heal old wounds, but also provide more love into the world.
Exciting
More self respect and acceptance towards oneself and with others
Useful to discover the root cause of the problem
It all makes sense but is it too late when you’ve alienated all those you love from your life and now live alone ?
Dear Maria, it is never too late, and only more crucial to attract what seems to be lost ASAP. True relationships will heal with
Your effort. Do not give up. Ask yourself: what can I gain? Ask yourself: why not try? Try.
Thankyou, helpful
This is in perfect time, and I appreciate it greatly. Supporting people unweave and release Shame around sexuality is a frequent aspect of my work. I am grateful for this resource. Thank you!
Forgiveness bulids a safe place for all relationships…..So powerfull….
It would help me be gentler on myself and others
I am not sure. I avoide atuning to the question, I think….
When I’m compassionate with myself I can be compassionate with my daughter
It can make them blossom again and again.
My first reaction is almost never that of love and compassion, however I expect that from others…
I am becoming more accepting of myself and why my reactions in the past have caused harm.
increased self acceptance
If I forgive myself and like myself more , I may feel more confident to find acceptance in relationships.
I’ve lived a life of being caught in hurt and anger most days, affecting every relationship. Cut off from family due to the anger and grief we all carry and trigger in each other. Experiencing a huge number of failed relationships with partners, the current relationship has been so difficult as both of us carry intense hurt, vulnerability and fear, setting each other off into painful ricochets where immense guilt builds in both of us. Enormous difficultly maintaining close friendships and feeling that I have nothing good to offer.
Never escaped low paying jobs because of limiting self beliefs of my capability and immense feelings of inferiority / being an imposter
So much to forgive, yet failing to believe it is not my fault when ultimately I am responsible for the person I am. Years of therapy have helped to lift me at times, but my goodness, there are still so many days of drowning in my deep lake of badness, thrashing and kicking to stay alive, I don’t know what it feels like to feel safe and dry, with my feet on the ground. Thank you Tara for showing me that there is a slip somewhere along the steep banks, I need to trust myself that I can swim to it and allow myself to climb out.
The words “forgiven, forgiven” and “please may I be kind” would be the gateway for me to deepening my understanding with what wants most attention within me at this moment.
When in their presence, will really be present.
I would /will be free/available to accept my basic gender, sexuality and sensuality, delight ,and and generosity.
I’m learning compassion and self-forgiveness, but still find I get a “knee-jerk” reaction in certain contexts towards others, when I sense I’m susceptible to any of their controlling behaviour. My reaction is to take control right back and there commenceth a psychological battlefield, and I feel ugly inside. It’s as though my quick reaction to take control causes the other person to “defend their ground”.
For example, when working voluntarily as a ‘meet and greet’ host the coordinator intervened by taking some pamphlets (my job is to hand-out pamphlets), and I immediately pointed out it was my task. My elderly, neuro-diverse co-worker hadn’t been able to access washroom facilities all day, and so I decided to ask why they were locked. Being given the response I asked the coordinator to explain that to my elderly friend (*I recognise, I did this to deflect my having to deal with my co-workers neuro-diversity manifestations, but also take command??). Anyway, this led to subsequent interactions which jarred rather than flowed. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, and I spent the remaining time trying to smile it off. It was hard work! I guess my question is how to ‘go with the flow’ more and not get caught up in these micro-psych-dramas, it’s so tedious and irksome! I so want that pivotal moment, like Sam.
Thank you Tara Brach.
~ Maggie🙏
Very powerful, as usual. Thank you.
I sense that if I was to genuinely forgive myself then within the ongoing relationship with my son, we may both be able to see the integrity and the intention of some of my behaviors. It could well shine a light giving my son a viewing point where he might like to consider alternative actions/ behaviors for himself… potentially being a role model with some alternative ways of being. Regardless, I would feel more congruent within.
as always…..your compassion teaches deep healing,,,
Thank you for this very helpful and simple way of letting go of self-judgement and thus feeling more softness and understanding for myself and the other person
It is so so important to connect with these teachings and practices over and over again. Thank you.
Looking forward ❤️
Thankyou for this insight.
Thank you for this!
I so appreciate the wisdom of meditations and talks from Tara, often listening in the morning to begin my day.
Amazing workshop, thanks
Thank you so much. It’s a very powerful experience let go the burden and breath in a softer way. Love!
great learning
I shall try self compassion, thank you
If I’m kind to myself I guess I will find it easier to be kind to the one I’ve hurt
I remembered the difficulty I felt at the time I neglected the relationship, I thought about contacting the person but felt scared to do so.
I have been hard on myself for most of my life, to be ‘kinder’ is tricky and doesn’t feel ‘right’.
Yet when I manage to connect with even a little skerrick of self compassion, in that moment, I feel softer, melting a wee bit of the hardness…I am present to a vulnerability within….and then I go back to old patterns.
Thank you Tara as always . Powerful loving work . Doing your exercise i got in touch with the sadness i feel around my behaviour coming from a feeling of not being good enough . The work …. to be continued ,
Thank you x