Helena Du, Marriage/Family Therapy, Honey Grove, TX, USAsays
Hi , I have an angry problem so does my husband, he lives outside my house for over 2 years now, and never talks to me. What do you think is going on? He’s talking a lot to other women.
I think genuine forgiveness is the first step to dilistening to our real feelings instead of hiding from them or lashing out. If we can really accept our feelings we can find more calm and inner wisdom. We can learn to tolerate feelings better and accept them as a part of being
Marshal Concello, Another Field, Wichita, KS, USAsays
This is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. From a traumatic and abusive upbringing, my false ego had formed around toxic shame and controlled my with the weapons of fear and judgement. I desperately seek to break free from this prison and be able to experience the beauty of human relationships without this dictator in my life.
I read your book RA on advice from my sister after I shared I was feeling like people I had to call on for work as a development person for a university were better than me when I needed to ask them for money.
After reading your book, I tried to find a retreat and attended one in Boone NC on combining yoga and meditation this past week.
I retired in June and leave for the Peace Corps in a month and wanted to make certain I had a tool to off set those feelings. I’ve never felt that way before when I talk about education for adults or advantages of certain things to make life better for less fortunate people.
Thanks for your book and I hope to keep following you from Kosovo the next 27 months.
Thank you Dr. Brach, As I approach another milestone in my sobriety I reflect back and am still quit ridden and ashamed of the ruined lives I left in my wake. I apologized to the obvious folks but I am sure there was colateral damage along the way. The good news is I am getting stronger every day, each passing day I am a little closer to forgiving myself. It’ll happen I’m sure. Thanks again, Mike
This is a wonderful approach to bring to the question of addressing racism or any other kind of practiced and systemic oppression.
In my experience of being “asked” as a person of color by a person of who is not of color – “what I think they should do to solve the problem of Racism?” – to use the strategic question in the way Tara suggests, might take the responsible onus off me, the person of color, to be the one required to find a solution.
This would shift the responsibility to the one responsible for the unpreferred behavior to own their behavior, acknowledge it, and consider their own next steps in addressing that behavior.
Colleen Chorro, Psychotherapy, Modesto, CA, USAsays
Hi Tara,
I know we work on ourselves. Feeling like the wife or partner who did not understand the other who was using anger. So I say to them from my heart, it’s not your fault. Thou <3
Definitely my relationship with myself has been the catalyst for many relationship breakdowns with others. I now know it is not my fault. It is what was imprinted on me when I was a boy without me realising it. Learning to fully love myself is my quest right now. It is time to shift the patterns and bring only unconditional love to the world
The person that comes to mind is my eldest daughter. I’m a recovering alcoholic with 10yrs sobriety. But it’s been a rough road particularly for my eldest. She had taken on nurturer, mother figure and teacher, when she needed those from me. Although it’s been 10yrs , I can’t forgive myself for not being there for her or being the kind of parent she needed and now I’m seeing it in all sorts of ways, if only I had done this or that, she wouldn’t be going through this or that. She doesn’t trust me . My children are my purpose. They saved me. It kills me , seeing all the mistakes I think I have made to the most important people in my life.
Thank you Tara. I feel such a burden of guilt and shame across such a long time. And such pain and regret over my behaviour in my last marriage and now the emptiness of being alone again. My shame seems matched by deep anxiety and depression. It is hard to summon the desire even to find a way out. Your reminder of self acceptance and compassion was so welcome
Tara brach is my favorite mindfulness meditation teacher ever! Her non judging, compassionate , forgiving workshops have heightened my awareness level of my own behavior . A kinder more accepting more loving attitude toward self and others is inevitable if you follow her . Thank you .
This is the second time of listening to this video.
Each time I feel the teaching more deeply.
It helps make healing accessible rather than avoiding the pain.
Thank you for these three videos Tara and NICABM
To break the patterns of self loathing and make room for moving towards mindful awareness. To free up room for more compassion and consciousness towards oneself and other.
Forgiveness can only really start with ourselves. Forgiveness means that we learn to sit with our suffering and in doing so we learn how to let go of anger, resentment and all the pain that we feel by holding on to what doesn’t serves us. When we are able to release the burden and forgive ourselves for it it sets us free, it opens our heart to forgive other as well.
Having lost someone very dear and working through and with grief I learned to truly see myself and others. In moving through the pain I allowed myself to forgive for not knowing and responding appropriately to other grievers.
I appreciate this exercise. I’ve been so focused on what others have done to me that I rarely acknowledge my feelings on what I’ve done to others. I have real emotions and undealt with things there. I’m also looking forward to sharing this exercise with others.
I find that maybe my bed wttuing through out my childhood caused a lot of hatred of myself..I remember my father calling me a dirty b***ch..and also my sisters when I wet the bed…
It helps release me from the reins of self judgement and criticism, and that frees me to be more vulnerable, to have a more open heart, and space to feel compassion if feelings of doubt arise and ultimately react differently
Thank you Tara for sharing. I found this exercise softened my heart and help move me from blaming the other to owning and being compassionate with my own feelings
The most difficult relationship I have is with myself. I struggle with perfectionism, which I know is very harmful to me and negatively affects my relationships with friends and family.
Thank you, this reminds me that whenever I seek lobve or approval from outside I will be disappointed, because that ultimately is an error of my judgment against my own ability to love myself
Hi , I have an angry problem so does my husband, he lives outside my house for over 2 years now, and never talks to me. What do you think is going on? He’s talking a lot to other women.
Thank you
I think genuine forgiveness is the first step to dilistening to our real feelings instead of hiding from them or lashing out. If we can really accept our feelings we can find more calm and inner wisdom. We can learn to tolerate feelings better and accept them as a part of being
I have benefited from Tara’s videos. She’s helped me learn how to know myself.
Thank you for what you said ,I found this very interesting and informative
I forgive myself for often not having been there for my daughter. I see how she suffers and hope she can do the same.
Self forgiveness can help because your heart will become open to receive love from others
Very helpful to think about self acceptance as a precursor to changw
This is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. From a traumatic and abusive upbringing, my false ego had formed around toxic shame and controlled my with the weapons of fear and judgement. I desperately seek to break free from this prison and be able to experience the beauty of human relationships without this dictator in my life.
I felt it was interesting but I was not sure how to release myself
I read your book RA on advice from my sister after I shared I was feeling like people I had to call on for work as a development person for a university were better than me when I needed to ask them for money.
After reading your book, I tried to find a retreat and attended one in Boone NC on combining yoga and meditation this past week.
I retired in June and leave for the Peace Corps in a month and wanted to make certain I had a tool to off set those feelings. I’ve never felt that way before when I talk about education for adults or advantages of certain things to make life better for less fortunate people.
Thanks for your book and I hope to keep following you from Kosovo the next 27 months.
Thank you Dr. Brach, As I approach another milestone in my sobriety I reflect back and am still quit ridden and ashamed of the ruined lives I left in my wake. I apologized to the obvious folks but I am sure there was colateral damage along the way. The good news is I am getting stronger every day, each passing day I am a little closer to forgiving myself. It’ll happen I’m sure. Thanks again, Mike
Thank you for your wise and kind insights. I am looking forward to using these concepts in my practice
Thank you.
it was relieving. thank you
This is a wonderful approach to bring to the question of addressing racism or any other kind of practiced and systemic oppression.
In my experience of being “asked” as a person of color by a person of who is not of color – “what I think they should do to solve the problem of Racism?” – to use the strategic question in the way Tara suggests, might take the responsible onus off me, the person of color, to be the one required to find a solution.
This would shift the responsibility to the one responsible for the unpreferred behavior to own their behavior, acknowledge it, and consider their own next steps in addressing that behavior.
Hi Tara,
I know we work on ourselves. Feeling like the wife or partner who did not understand the other who was using anger. So I say to them from my heart, it’s not your fault. Thou <3
Definitely my relationship with myself has been the catalyst for many relationship breakdowns with others. I now know it is not my fault. It is what was imprinted on me when I was a boy without me realising it. Learning to fully love myself is my quest right now. It is time to shift the patterns and bring only unconditional love to the world
The person that comes to mind is my eldest daughter. I’m a recovering alcoholic with 10yrs sobriety. But it’s been a rough road particularly for my eldest. She had taken on nurturer, mother figure and teacher, when she needed those from me. Although it’s been 10yrs , I can’t forgive myself for not being there for her or being the kind of parent she needed and now I’m seeing it in all sorts of ways, if only I had done this or that, she wouldn’t be going through this or that. She doesn’t trust me . My children are my purpose. They saved me. It kills me , seeing all the mistakes I think I have made to the most important people in my life.
Thank you Tara. I feel such a burden of guilt and shame across such a long time. And such pain and regret over my behaviour in my last marriage and now the emptiness of being alone again. My shame seems matched by deep anxiety and depression. It is hard to summon the desire even to find a way out. Your reminder of self acceptance and compassion was so welcome
Tara brach is my favorite mindfulness meditation teacher ever! Her non judging, compassionate , forgiving workshops have heightened my awareness level of my own behavior . A kinder more accepting more loving attitude toward self and others is inevitable if you follow her . Thank you .
Thank you
Thank you – this was really helpful. Blessings, Dianne💚
This is the second time of listening to this video.
Each time I feel the teaching more deeply.
It helps make healing accessible rather than avoiding the pain.
Thank you for these three videos Tara and NICABM
The brief exercise softened my heart toward myself
Thank you Tara. Always inspiring.
thank you 🙏
As always with Tara, the strength of the simplicity of the examples and message feels clear and true
To break the patterns of self loathing and make room for moving towards mindful awareness. To free up room for more compassion and consciousness towards oneself and other.
Forgiveness can only really start with ourselves. Forgiveness means that we learn to sit with our suffering and in doing so we learn how to let go of anger, resentment and all the pain that we feel by holding on to what doesn’t serves us. When we are able to release the burden and forgive ourselves for it it sets us free, it opens our heart to forgive other as well.
Having lost someone very dear and working through and with grief I learned to truly see myself and others. In moving through the pain I allowed myself to forgive for not knowing and responding appropriately to other grievers.
I appreciate this exercise. I’ve been so focused on what others have done to me that I rarely acknowledge my feelings on what I’ve done to others. I have real emotions and undealt with things there. I’m also looking forward to sharing this exercise with others.
Thank you for your wise words. I will keep them in mind as I hone my practice.
Thank you for reminding us that we can only love others as we love ourselves
I find that maybe my bed wttuing through out my childhood caused a lot of hatred of myself..I remember my father calling me a dirty b***ch..and also my sisters when I wet the bed…
Thank you for this simple reminder of self compassion
So timely and powerful. Thank you!
i love listening to your words tara
I felt I was a little child being rocked in loving arms. this brings a soothing feeling, a solace
It helps release me from the reins of self judgement and criticism, and that frees me to be more vulnerable, to have a more open heart, and space to feel compassion if feelings of doubt arise and ultimately react differently
DO NOT LIKE THE SHE IS READING FROM A MONITOR
PRETENDING TO BE SPEAKING SPONANEOUSLY.
POLEASE UNSUBSCRIBE.
Thank you. Valuable insights.
Beautiful practice
Thank you so much for this Tara. Your gentle presence has been so apppreciated.
Thank you for the exercises.
Thank you Tara for sharing. I found this exercise softened my heart and help move me from blaming the other to owning and being compassionate with my own feelings
Very sensitive
Tara is always so gentle and inspiring.
I discovered a softness in myself as I imagined
The most difficult relationship I have is with myself. I struggle with perfectionism, which I know is very harmful to me and negatively affects my relationships with friends and family.
Thank you, this reminds me that whenever I seek lobve or approval from outside I will be disappointed, because that ultimately is an error of my judgment against my own ability to love myself