Is There a Cost to Avoiding Conflict?

Dealing with conflict is seldom easy. That’s why, in the face of conflict, many people’s default mode is to try to minimize it or avoid it outright. But is there a cost involved when we shy away from confrontation? Tara Brach, PhD says that this kind of avoidance is actually a “false refuge.” She shares more in the video below. Check it out, it’s just 3 minutes. How do your clients use false refuge to avoid conflict? Please leave your response in the comment section below.


The Brain on Long-Term Love

What activates the pleasure and reward centers of the brain, calms parts of the brain associated with fear and anxiety, and is available to anyone without a prescription? Long-term relationships. Researchers Bianca Acevedo, PhD and Arthur Aron, PhD took ten women and seven men who had been married an average of 21.4 years and did fMRIs to look at their brains. They wanted to see what was happening in their brains while participants looked at photos of their partners. For a comparison, they also saw photos of a highly familiar acquaintance, a very close, long-time friend, and a less familiar…

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Mindfulness and Self-Worth – What’s the Connection?

Feelings of unworthiness, shame, and self-hatred seem to show up all too often in daily life – we see it in our work, our families, and maybe even experience it ourselves. But there’s at least one person in the world who’s not especially familiar with such feelings. In fact, he didn’t even know the meaning of the term self-hatred. Jack Kornfield, PhD, reveals more in the video below, and shares two strategies that can help people heal a negative self -image and learn to love themselves. Take a look – it’s just over four minutes. How have you used mindfulness…

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How to Become Who You Want to Be – with Tara Brach, PhD

“I’m not as good as I should be.” It’s a common refrain from many of our patients. Helping them trade self-judgment for self-compassion is an essential first step in creating real change. Watch below as Tara Brach, PhD, talks about what needs to be in place before we can become truly free and open to changing ourselves. Breaking out of a long-held cycle of self-judgment can be difficult – but it isn’t impossible. In our free report, Tara Brach outlines 4 steps that can help us begin to turn judgment into compassion – click here to request your copy. How…

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Thank You, You Saved My Life

What’s the most encouraging feedback you’ve ever received from a client you’ve worked with? My friend, Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT, remembers the day he received a powerful thank you message from someone he’d never even met. Bill is a psychotherapist, a dynamic, inspirational professional speaker (you might remember him from the Hilton Head conference,) and prolific author (over 30 books so far). He often joins me as a guest expert in our programs at NICABM, and his passion is to motivate people and organizations to determine what they are meant to be doing, and then to remove the barriers to succeeding…

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Uncovering Happiness: The Natural Anti-Depressant Effects of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

When depression takes hold, it can become an insidious loop from which patients struggle to break free. But what if we could help them create an “anti-depressant brain”? Below, you’ll find out one way to help clients initiate brain change to alleviate depression, courtesy of my friend Elisha Goldstein, PhD. Elisha is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice, Co-founder of The Center for Mindful Living in LA, and author of the new book Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion. Depression is the brain’s ultimate avoidance strategy. For over 350 million people worldwide, it saps the ability to engage…

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